Feelings about Sex in Media Vs Sex in Real Life

[JordyPordy]

Ok so. I’m not attracted to in-person reality bodies. People with names like celebs or ppl I know or even don’t know. Porn is awkward and boring. The voices sometimes can be arousing but that’s about it and only minimally. But sex in media. It’s portrayed so many different ways. Used to be the fade to black, then soft core porn, then romantic cheesy type scenes where u just see the faces and shapes moving etc. I’ve seen a few rele romantic ones and I’ve seen some meant to portray that the characters were bored or going thru the motions. I’ve seen violent non consensual things. Probably more often than any of the aforementioned types. (Altho yes I know TRIGGER WARNING ⚠️ sexual assault or forcible contact isn’t sex it’s violence it’s still a depiction of two bodies doing the physical act in a specific manner albeit an unpleasant one) and I’ve often found it difficult to look at the screen wen it’s romantic or cheesy. Like secondhand embarrassment ? And when it’s violent I have a similar reaction tho less embarrassed more repulsed which is natural I assume . When it is seemingly realistic just with that added shine of professional cinema (vs the bad lighting of porn) I like it. It can arouse me. Triple that attraction if it’s like a romance I’m really invested in (such as red white and royal blue idk if anyone here has seen it but it’s got a good scene or two between a bisexual cis man and a gay cis man) and I like those. I like to imagine sex more than I like to see it. Like there’s a disconnect in my brain. That they’re the same thing. That the sex I see in porn or in well done movies or even in re-enactments of criminal sexual acts that these r what bodies look like and this is what bodies do. Versus what my head dreams up which are still actual human bodies but usually more or less faceless and the acts are arousing in my mind (aside from the criminal acts) but not when it’s ever put in a visual medium. Posters, art, fan art, videos, movies, tv shows, porn etc.  Does anyone else experience this? 

[Sarah-Sylvia]

Sure, when something is left more to the imagination it can stir up more feelings, depending on the person. But it's just like how someone showing only a bit of skin with clothing can actually stir more feelings than someone naked.  Also usually in porn and all that there isn't any build up, no story to connect to the feelings behind the actions, etc. At the end of the day naked bodies aren't that meaningful in themselves, so the more there's behind them with meaning or left open can end up stirring more feelings.

Porn is like.. more for direct relief which there's plenty of people can enjoy since most people are sexual enough or have high sex drives enough for it to do something, especially if someone's just horny then wanting to get the pleasure right away is a thing. But there's plenty of people who want there to be more than that, to give or open more meaning behind it. At least that's what comes to mind based on what you talked about. Not sure where the embarassment to romance falls in though, but plenty in media are definitely very cheesy and not realistic xD.

[JordyPordy]

11 hours ago, Sarah-Sylvia said:

Sure, when something is left more to the imagination it can stir up more feelings, depending on the person. But it's just like how someone showing only a bit of skin with clothing can actually stir more feelings than someone naked.  Also usually in porn and all that there isn't any build up, no story to connect to the feelings behind the actions, etc. At the end of the day naked bodies aren't that meaningful in themselves, so the more there's behind them with meaning or left open can end up stirring more feelings.

Porn is like.. more for direct relief which there's plenty of people can enjoy since most people are sexual enough or have high sex drives enough for it to do something, especially if someone's just horny then wanting to get the pleasure right away is a thing. But there's plenty of people who want there to be more than that, to give or open more meaning behind it. At least that's what comes to mind based on what you talked about. Not sure where the embarassment to romance falls in though, but plenty in media are definitely very cheesy and not realistic xD.

Thanks I forgot to mention the connection to personal sexual experience limited though it is. And I do like orgasms but I don’t really connect with the person I don’t like looking at them or being touched or touching others. But my fantasies are Deff the complete opposite and those do arouse me unlike actual human interactions. In person nothing ever feels like what I imagine in my head which arouses me or what I see in media which is hit/miss. That’s the disconnect. That those are the same activity and yet somehow it just doesn’t seem the same. But you’re right I hadn’t thought of the showing skin thing. Some like tht in models and some like models who show a lot more that kinda vibes with what my head is telling me. And maybe I’m Demi? Or something? Cuz I need the emotions or romance some kind of connection it doesn’t even need to be deep. But something more than strangers having sex. Like in porn. Maybe that’s why most porn does nothing for me because I know for a fact 99 percent of them r strangers and are acting. Then again that doesn’t explain why some movies I like the sex scenes. I’m confusing myself here hahaha but thank you for your response :)) I always value hearing from people on here.