RoseGoesToYale Posted January 28 Share Posted January 28 Or does it just graduate, pay more taxes and drink more beers? It's a question more directed at older folks (maybe 35+), but anyone can chime in. I've been thinking about the events that have happened within the past several months in my friend group, a bunch of incidents we've all at point and another termed "high school drama". Without going into detail, basically people splitting off from one another, people getting upset at things said or miscommunications, and people taking things personally. There are about eight of us ranging in age from early to late 20s (I'm the oldest at 28), and the stuff that went on is not unlike some of the drama I've seen in Friends or Will & Grace, shows obviously not about high schoolers, but then, sitcoms aren't real life. Then I see the way certain public figures, especially certain septuagenarians, causing what looks like high school drama to me, but on a wider, more public scale, and I keep asking myself whether humans ever really grow up or not. Maybe adults are just better at hiding their pettiness and butthurt selfishness from wider society, while high school is a relative petri dish of it that's easy to stick under the social microscope because both adults and teens are able to observe it in such a concentrated space. Or maybe humans are just naturally dramatic because we're social. 4 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Sally Posted January 28 Share Posted January 28 Some people emotionally wear out; others don't. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Ceebs Posted January 28 Share Posted January 28 My brain automatically assumes it doesn't and this is a large portion of why I avoid almost everyone and why I'm still scared of people my own age, because high school was... well, 'traumatic' doesn't really seem like an understatement tbh. Despite rapidly approaching my 39th birthday, I still somehow view anyone around my age as a fellow teenager. I'm a little worried that that won't ever change, so that when I'm in my 50s I'll perceive other 50-somethings as teens as well. Anyway, generally I prefer to associate with people at least 15-20 years older than myself because I don't view them as connected to my teen years. I could be wrong though, I'm open to that possibility. Maybe it's better for some people and there's less of a high school drama feeling to socialising now. Perhaps my social anxiety is preventing me from discovering that it wouldn't be that scary. I know a few people very close to my own age who don't stress me out and feel safe. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Olallieberry Posted January 28 Share Posted January 28 There's a filter in place. The older a cohort of people gets, the fewer of them perpetrate high school drama. So, no, but, also yes, for a lot of people. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
MoraDollie Posted January 28 Share Posted January 28 I'm 30. FOR THE MOST PART in adulthood, yes, it basically passes. Are there always going to be petty and/or insecure little shits that try to cause problems or they do something knowing it's all kinds of illegal/unethical/just in general bad, yes. However, for the most part, in adulthood, majority of us are just trying to desperately pay rent, utilities, and go to work. We're trying to take care of our own health and/or family (like pets or kids/romantic partner). We literally don't have the time or energy to worry about "who kissed who" or "who is trying to stir the pot". Every social circle (hobby, work, politics, religion, whatever) is going to have its bad apples and problems. Trick is to learn to avoid it and use the block button as needed. Don't let someone suck you into their fire because they're lashing out. The block button and/or mute button is your best friend. It's not them "winning". It's you setting mental health boundaries. 4 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Sally Posted January 28 Share Posted January 28 I think as you get older and get experienced in various life things, you get used to not feeling safe, and being unsafe doesn't feel so scary. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Sarah-Sylvia Posted January 28 Share Posted January 28 The drama stopped after high school in my case anyway. In college things were a lot more straightforward. Most of it I experienced later on was online, besides maybe a few immature people here and there. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
uhtred Posted January 28 Share Posted January 28 I think for most people the drama decreases with time - but not always. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Muledeer Posted January 28 Share Posted January 28 I have seen high school drama play out in the kitchen of a Senior Center before. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
daveb Posted January 28 Share Posted January 28 I can't say I've been party to or witness of much drama since high school (or even during it). Maybe because I have few friends, and tend to keep a low profile. I have seen some family drama, but even with that I tend to be more on the sidelines. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
fuzzipueo Posted January 28 Share Posted January 28 I think, in some cases, the high school drama just morphs to fit new situations (office drama, club or hobbiest drama, etc.), mostly caused by people who want to be the big fish in the small pond. I know, I've experienced it. sigh. However, friend groups do occasionally go through these kinds of upheavals. I think it's part of growing up and people going in different ways. Hang in there. It's not fun, but it happens all the time, even with people who've known each other for decades. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Synchronicity Posted January 28 Share Posted January 28 I'm sorry you had to go through that. I think people learn, eventually, what's appropriate and socially acceptable and stop offending others, and causing upset, quite so much. Adults tend to be more considerate, but some personalities probably never change. Drama is probably human nature but most people resist in order to have an easy life. Hopefully. Personally, I'm no longer in touch with anyone I knew at school (*thanks deities of choice*), so things are easier. (((@Ceebs))) you sound like you could do with a hug, if you'll accept it! I only socialise with people I feel safe with myself. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Autumn ace Posted January 28 Share Posted January 28 I’m still in high school, so I‘m answering this from what I’ve seen from my mom and her siblings. The most drama I’ve seen is from my moms side of the family, and a lot of the drama is really petty. Gossiping about each others lives, being mad they don’t see family enough, being mad they have to deal with them too much. It’s not exactly high school drama, but most of it is really petty and avoidable. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Lord Jade Cross Posted January 28 Share Posted January 28 If I ever meet any of my highschool classmates, I just have 2 words for them (that Im not sure I can write but you can probably guess them) 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Sally Posted January 28 Share Posted January 28 3 hours ago, Muledeer said: I have seen high school drama play out in the kitchen of a Senior Center before. And I have seen it not do so. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Sister Mercurial Posted January 28 Share Posted January 28 Bowling for Soup didn't think so: Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Gloomy Posted January 28 Share Posted January 28 It kind of morphs into office/work drama, dysfunctional family drama, drama between neighbors (for example the apartment complex I live in has a couple people that have been causing all sorts of problems), people being rude to customer service workers, etc, and yes from what I’ve seen many friendship groups of adults still deal with drama from time to time. Picking on the freshmen becomes lamenting at how horrible the current generation of young people is despite the fact that people have been saying that since antiquity. 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Monke Jimmy Posted January 28 Share Posted January 28 Honestly, I've seen much more "high school drama" as a college upperclassman this year that I ever did in high school. I think a lot of people just never really learn how to cope with loneliness or don't know how to socialize without the drama. A lot of people chalk it up to immaturity but I see it more as a personality thing. There is especially no shortage of older women who gossip, in my experience. I bet drama has a similar age curve to sexuality. It goes up drastically in high school and then slowly decreases as you age, but not as much as people think. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
MarRister Posted January 29 Share Posted January 29 I think it somewhat depends on who you spend time with, whether that be voluntarily or involuntarily. And I guess also how involved you get yourself in other people's shit. My friends have little to no drama (with me), but I also generally don't do friend groups, I'm more just friends with individuals who don't know each other which may help cut some of that internal conflict stuff that one might get sucked into the middle of. I have always been pretty good at steering clear from friend drama. Had a couple things here and there over the years but super minimal comparatively to some people. My highschool years were actually pretty drama free 😅 Most drama in my life has probably been work related stuff. But really nothing too wild, usually just hear about it, but don't know the people involved well and am not involved myself. 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
what the face Posted January 29 Share Posted January 29 (edited) Drama can and will cook into us a sense of connection to others, bad and good. For many of us, the dramatic connections we make and breakup with in High School become our default models for adult connections and disconnections. High school default drama may always be there for us, but we can find our own unique and shared connectivity with others by different channels, like comedy or nature (or ??? ). Edited January 29 by what the face Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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