Aromantic and romantic sharing a same relationship (how could it work?)

[M96-80 KENNY]

SCENARIO 7 - CORNER 13 (ready for the experiment): How to build a healthy relationship when a partner is aromantic and another one is romantic?

People is so different, for this reason, they have all rights to build their relationships as whatever they want, but obviously with respect, this lead me to think in a situation when 2 people have a cute and strong relationship. Everything is ok, now, the problem is this, what happens when they're completely opposite?. First, let's define romantic attraction, it's the desire to have high emotional intimacy with another person, sex isn't necessarily involved. Ok, but also platonic relationships can share certain requirements same as romantic relationships, what's the real difference. Now we need to differentiate between romantic and aromantic, romantic people usually wants a future shared life with mentioned special partner, while aromantic just doesn't have these needs. The problem is that platonic people can be similar to romantic people, this is because platonic relationships are getting stronger lately and being confused for inexpert people, I admit that I was a bit confused and tipsy when I was discovering my own identity. Fortunately, they're also more alternatives, because they're also QPR (queerplatonic relationships). If in a platonic relationship you normally doesn't kiss in your best friend's mouth or having sex, in a QPR you can do whatever you want, it can be confused with FWB (friendship with benefits), but it has certain differences. I personally have main differences to identify romance (not all ones, but still important), for example, if you fall in love, then you feel "butterflies in stomach" (PR and QPR are excluded), your partner could want to meet your parents (or not, they're also secret couples), and definitely your parent will want to remind you each year certain anniversary. I probably have more key differences, but I forgot them at this moment.

 

What happens if I want to be in a relationship?. Personally I don't care about if a girl is in love with me or not, I will still spending my time with her, but only as best friends, I also probably could be involved in a QPR, but only with my own limits, I can be touched but not in all areas, I can be kissed but only in cheeks and forehead, and I definitely don't need to spend time with her, I could meet her every moment because I'm not obligated to date her everyday. Definitely I would appreciate her friendship, despite I'm not officially her boyfriend as "theorically I should be", and also her parents (if I meet them accidentally or never meet them) will never be "parents-in-law" for me (boy/girlfriend's parents are always called parents-in-law), just her parents and nothing more. I don't need approval from third-party (more like third people), if we share love (in different ways), then it's enough for me. Repeat, this would happen if I was actually involved in a close relationship.

 

Now I want to know your opinions. Are romantic and platonic relationships too different?, or they can be mixed into a same mixture like salt and water?. Because if a relationship is queerplatonic, then limits between romantic and platonic relationships can't be defined.

Correct me if I'm wrong, corrections are always appreciated.

[DemonicEnby]

Funny you should ask that. A couple I know has been together since, wow, let me think.... I think roundabout 20 years? She is an asexual romantic, he is an allosexual aromantic, but to be fair, they always had an open relationship from the start and share a lot of interests - games, manga, anime, comics, so, yeah. Still going strong and still living together and everything. Don't ask me for details, but yes, it can work.

 

If I remember they are doing some kind of music gig or whatever, but if I remember they are not well-known outside of Austria. 

[M96-80 KENNY]

@DemonicEnbyNice to hear about that, definitely it can work well. 🙂👍

[DemonicEnby]

29 minutes ago, M96-80 KENNY said:

@DemonicEnbyNice to hear about that, definitely it can work well. 🙂👍

It is really, really awesome to watch, they are so in tune with each other, it makes me a bit wistful, wishing for something similar myself, honestly. They got that like married forever but weird still very much in love with each other vibe, though that does not make sense, since I know him being aromantic, but I can hardly describe it in another way, they seem so teeth rottingly fluffy and comfortable around each other. Though I know they had a very open communication from the start, so some things she considers romantic he is doing from time to time, even if he does not exactly see a big rhyme or reason behind those actions.

[DemonicEnby]

And I know she is compromising with the open relationship bit, as she isn't picky what he does, as long as he comes home in the end, so yes, something like that would be honestly amazing - I really am very surprised by that, but I think as they got together when I was still a teen it helped me later to even find AVEN and put a name to myself what I was feeling and such. Funnily enough the comment from him, about being aromantic stuck and at some point I was thinking, well, if there is some word for that, maybe that might be around for my own questioning self with my sexuality as well? So, yeah, in hindsight their example did help me along as well. XD