How To Reinvent Yourself To Become Your Best Future Self 💜 Asexuality Full Talk At The BE And Become Summit

[Sandra B]

If you missed my keynote talk at the Be and Become Summit last month, I'm thrilled to tell you that I've been allowed to put a copy of my specific talk on my own channel.

 

So here is the video if you want to see it:

 

 

I also did a playlist of shorter video highlights, before my talk - so if you are short of time, you can watch this playlist here:

 

 

I'm trying to raise as much asexual awareness as possible, in order to fulfil my life mission of getting asexuality recognised as a sexual orientation is its own right throughout the globe, so no asexual has to live in fear of ridicule ever again.

[Sally]

The idea of reinventing yourself in order to be happy doesn't sound particularly pleasant or necessary.  

[Ceebs]

I admit I haven't watched the whole thing yet and may not do so, and also I have no skin in the game really since I'm not asexual, but I noticed that when you were talking about your mental health struggles as a kid (and I'm sorry you went through that; I'm no stranger to similar issues), amongst other descriptions of yourself at that age that were all negative things, you referred to yourself as introverted. And then said that you changed yourself to become extroverted. While something like social anxiety can be a massive hindrance and likely wouldn't be described as a positive, and loneliness can be incredibly painful (those are both things you mentioned), introverts shouldn't be given the message that they ought to change their innate character. Working on overcoming anxiety and finding social connections are good goals of course, and usually doable ones with the right support, but introversion isn't a bad thing that needs to be changed. If that's part of the 'reinventing' you're talking about, I'd say that's not necessary and it could actually be harmful for some people to force themselves to socialise in a way or to a degree that's not innate to them.

[Sandra B]

On 1/10/2024 at 7:26 AM, Sally said:

The idea of reinventing yourself in order to be happy doesn't sound particularly pleasant or necessary.  

Did you watch the full video in which I told you my personal story? 

 

It was very necessary, as I was depressed and suicidal years ago for a long time, and now I love myself and love my life. I used to have huge social anxiety too.

[Sandra B]

On 1/14/2024 at 12:30 AM, Ceebs said:

I admit I haven't watched the whole thing yet and may not do so, and also I have no skin in the game really since I'm not asexual, but I noticed that when you were talking about your mental health struggles as a kid (and I'm sorry you went through that; I'm no stranger to similar issues), amongst other descriptions of yourself at that age that were all negative things, you referred to yourself as introverted. And then said that you changed yourself to become extroverted. While something like social anxiety can be a massive hindrance and likely wouldn't be described as a positive, and loneliness can be incredibly painful (those are both things you mentioned), introverts shouldn't be given the message that they ought to change their innate character. Working on overcoming anxiety and finding social connections are good goals of course, and usually doable ones with the right support, but introversion isn't a bad thing that needs to be changed. If that's part of the 'reinventing' you're talking about, I'd say that's not necessary and it could actually be harmful for some people to force themselves to socialise in a way or to a degree that's not innate to them.

Thanks for sharing your thoughts.

 

I'm not saying that other people have to do anything or they have to think being introvert is bad - many people even in the entrepreneur space are actually introverted. I was personally miserable being an introvert - I hated it. I was lonely and felt very left out which I attributed in part to being extremely introverted, and so I personally changed myself, and as it's my personal story with limited time to talk, I said what was true for me. I think extroverts and loud, talkative people, often get a lot of flack from the world population - with "peace and quiet" always being promoted as the ideal, which is not for everyone. I haven't even ever heard anyone else say they think being introvert isn't a good thing. But I know it wasn't good for me. My best friend is extremely introverted and he watched all of my talk live and enjoyed it.

 

Most of the audience of this talk was not asexual, it was not an asexual summit - I incorporated asexuality into my talk, which truly changed my life in multiple ways and brought asexuality to a more global, "different" audience, which is important for fulfilling my life mission. The Be and Become Summit is hosted be a mental health wellbeing coach, who has bi-polar and is also a teacher. Apart from the asexuals who attended because I was a speaker there, many other people are healers, business owners, spiritual people, coaches, artists, not asexual.

 

People can reinvent themselves however they want, to become the next best version of themselves, not what others' want them to be, to live a happier life - that's the point of the talk - I give the steps at the end for people to change their self and consequently their life, however they please. If people are as happy as they can be, then they don't need to do any work on themselves or change themselves, but for anyone who isn't - I give them the plan to do that. Self-development is important to live a happier life. 

[LeChat]

Hi. Thank you, for sharing your personal story, how you improved your life. It sounded as though it might've been an important, healing journey.