How to wear ace ring without coming out?

[Czytling]

I wear ace ring, but I am not out to my parents. Now they are coming to visit and i am looking for ways to keep wearing ace ring without outing myself to them. 

 

I have started wearing my black ace ring half a year ago, at first i was rarely wearing it and it was ok to just take it off when my family visited, but now it is basically a part of myself and not having it on feels wrong, just awful, like i am naked. However, my parents are coming to visit me for a month, and I normally don't wear jewellery, so if i wear the ace ring nonstop as i do now, they will definitely ask about it.

 

If they ask, i won't be able to lie to them, but also i am not out and i'm not willing to come out to them at this time. They are very likely acephobic and while they won't throw me out, they will try to have me 'change my mind, because they care about me' or tell me 'i could even bring a girlfriend home, as long as i actually bring someone home' (they are not the most progressive as far as love goes). I'm not willing to go through that at this time, especially since i will be spending close to a month 1 on 1 with them, with no opportunities to give each other space for more than a bathroom break (i'm also taking my leave from work for this, so going to work is not an opportunity for cooldown either).

 

I know that i should just take off the ring for the month and keep it at that, but i feel incomplete and naked without it and i am grasping for any other solutions. Any advice?

 

[Curious Crow]

Hello @Czytling,

 

It's really nice that you've found a means of expression that you feel good about.

 

I understand how you feel - I know my family is not queer-phobic, but I still want to be very prepared before I come out to them. I wish no one had to choose between 'being out to yourself' and taking their time coming out to others. 

 

Have you considered wearing the ring on a long chain (maybe with a few other trinkets) and pass it off as a non-specific accessory?

 

I also know that some cultures wear toe rings (though I think you could potentially pad your finger ring with string and reuse it, I think it might take time getting used to one of those). Maybe something you could consider? 

 

I love nail paint - I often experiment with multi-colored combinations of nail paint - so when I do paint my nails in pride colours (well, more pastel versions) or the Bi-romantic flag (still have to get grey for the ace flag) - no one really notices because they've gotten used to the 'weird' colour variations 💁🏻‍♀️🤭

 

I hope you find a feasible solution.

 

 

[Luftschlosseule]

you could be evasive and tell them it is this habit you've picked up recently. it is not a lie, and it won't lead to discussions unless the others are really in for it.
Good luck, I wish you much energy for the visit!

[fantastic mx. foxglove]

Maybe you could wear a couple of rings on your other fingers to help disguise it. If they ask, you could tell them, "I wanted to try something out" or "I liked the way they look." For the rings that aren't your ace ring, it wouldn't technically be lying

 

Anyhow, I wish you luck with this! ^^