help me please

[ace_of_hearts_]

So recently I realised I had got another crush except this time it was different... it was a girl. Or a gender-fluid person. They aren't really sure.

 

The thing is I have only ever liked three people before and they have all been boys so it is really confusing for me. I am sure about my asexuality, but I thought I was romantically straight. Most of my friends around me aren't surprised I'm questioning though which is concerning. 

 

I always feel more attracted to personality but I still notice people's looks and think "wow they are pretty" but I don't feel like attracted to them I guess? With this person I like their personality but still notice their looks? I don't know if I'm biromantic or panromantic. I guess I notice looks but only feel attracted to personality?

 

Please help me I can't stop thinking about this

[Sarah-Sylvia]

Hi @ace_of_hearts_🍰

 

I think that already just knowing what you do generally feel is a bigger step than choosing between those 2 labels, there's no rush to stick with one, you can use either one or what feels best to you for now and can always switch if you find more in your feelings later. I can share what made me pick biromantic, because like you personality matters the most too. I think first I just like the word better :P, and I prefer to say I'm bi than pan. But the main reason is that I do feel differently about someone depending on their looks and gender, and have preferences, even if personality is the biggest factor for if I'd be interested in someone or not. Some people might say that someone pan can have preferences too, but I do feel that some are gender based too. Even if they don't matter nearly as much as personality, to me it's enough to go with my leaning and use biromantic :).

Hope you feel free to share or ask anything 🌈.

[what the face]

1 hour ago, ace_of_hearts_ said:

Please help me I can't stop thinking about this

OK, it’s ok

I’ve found when I

“can’t stop thinking about”

some one or something 

help comes with full, all out 

Feeling  about it/them.

 

Give in to the feeling function,

which is for some of us not easy.  

Totally embrace and explore how you are about this 

and if/ when “thinking” returns you may find more understanding.

Or not.

Feeling operates outside of and beyond most of our thinking anyway

right?

[ace_of_hearts_]

8 hours ago, what the face said:

OK, it’s ok

I’ve found when I

“can’t stop thinking about”

some one or something 

help comes with full, all out 

Feeling  about it/them.

 

Give in to the feeling function,

which is for some of us not easy.  

Totally embrace and explore how you are about this 

and if/ when “thinking” returns you may find more understanding.

Or not.

Feeling operates outside of and beyond most of our thinking anyway

right?

I really want to try this but sometimes I do find it difficult while other times it's all I do. And it is both someone and something so it's very difficult. I will try though thank you

[ace_of_hearts_]

8 hours ago, Sarah-Sylvia said:

Hi @ace_of_hearts_🍰

 

I think that already just knowing what you do generally feel is a bigger step than choosing between those 2 labels, there's no rush to stick with one, you can use either one or what feels best to you for now and can always switch if you find more in your feelings later. I can share what made me pick biromantic, because like you personality matters the most too. I think first I just like the word better :P, and I prefer to say I'm bi than pan. But the main reason is that I do feel differently about someone depending on their looks and gender, and have preferences, even if personality is the biggest factor for if I'd be interested in someone or not. Some people might say that someone pan can have preferences too, but I do feel that some are gender based too. Even if they don't matter nearly as much as personality, to me it's enough to go with my leaning and use biromantic :).

Hope you feel free to share or ask anything 🌈.

That makes a lot of sense, how you figured out you were biromantic. I feel like that might be the case for me but I don't tend to specifically think about the gender till after I realise I have a crush, or accept the fact I have a crush (that is what happened for me this time). I know there is no rush to label but I really like to be certain of things, know what they are or in this case understand who I am. I will take what you said and think about it thank you so much