Can the right dildo do the job?

[AnotherAceAmongTheSpades]

Hi,

 

My friend who wasn't much interested in sex told me that she invested in an expensive dildo that, for the first time, pleasured her.  Apparently it's one of those kinds that make sucking motions on the clitoris.  She knows I am ace and suggested I try it, but I just couldn't be bothered.  Yes, I'm curious, but if it doesn't work, then there goes $300 for nothing.  Has anyone else tried special toys and found them to be successful?

 

Thanks.

[MarRister]

Toys can definitely help if that is what you are looking for, though every one is different so it is no guarantee or anything. I seem pretty much incapable of having an orgasm without a toy of some kind (though I have gotten close in partnered situations). I will say my first vibrator, was a clit sucking one, and it worked quite well, and still works quite well. However there was no internal part to it as it only focuses on the external clitorus, and it most definitely was not $300. It was about $40-$50 I think. Called the Satisfyer at the time but I think they came out with a newer updated version now so the price is likely different, though maybe the older version is still around and cheaper. I ordered off PinkCherry which is Canadian I believe, and I thought was a great place to order from so have done a couple times since that first purchase.

 

You can get just regular vibrators fairly cost effectively as well, though I found the clit sucker to be basically a no learning curve type of thing where it just kind of does its thing and you don't have to do much. I find typical vibrators for me tend to be more variable with how they make me feel, and sometimes are not as effective as the clit sucking one. Basically call that one ole' faithful at this point lol. 

[a little annihilation]

i don't dare spend that much on a sex toy but that's just me. what works for her doesn't necessarily work for you. and if the suction part is what you're after you can pay less money for something that does that specifically without the complexity. 

[EmeraldIce]

In my experience, physical stimulation only really works when you're already aroused. When you're aroused, physical stimulation brings you to a place where there's this urge to get somewhere, and it gives you the tools you need to get that somewhere. However, the clit is sensitive. Physical stimulation in the absence of arousal can be uncomfortable, even unbearable, especially if you don't have the experience that can sometimes allow you to direct that sensation in the direction of arousal.

 

Even in the presence of arousal, it sometimes takes some degree of training and experience to learn to recognize and follow its direction. I like to compare it to those Magic Eye books, where when you don't know how to see the image, you struggle, but when you get the hang of it, you know where to direct your vision to make the image pop. Of course, in the case of sexual arousal, you can't always get aroused and orgasm just because you know how to. But once you do know how to, it is much easier to recognize it, evoke it, enjoy the experience, and direct it into the direction of orgasm. If you haven't been sexually aroused or experience an orgasm, I think it's useful to get an idea of what turns you on. In my case, it's imagining myself enduring hardships and physical pain and doing so with grace and kindness.

 

You can also experiment with less expensive sex toys. I don't think it's necessary to get a $300 sex toy. There are plenty of decent ones that cost way less. Some girls even start off with a used electric toothbrush—though disclaimer, I tried that and I don't like it.

[Philip027]

1 minute ago, EmeraldIce said:

I like to compare it to those Magic Eye books that were all the rage I forget when. When you don't know how to see the image, you struggle, but when you get the hang of it, you know where to direct your vision to make the image pop.

Interesting that you say that, because I remember those books and I was never able to get those to "work" either no matter what I tried or how I was instructed (and I gave these a lot more of a try than I ever did with masturbation, hah)

 

It turns out I have a lazy eye condition that leaves me without complete conscious control of both my eyes at once, which leaves me unable to see many flat "3D" effects properly, which I'm assuming includes these books.

[Ceebs]

I have a fair number of toys, three of them are the clitoral suction type, and not a single one cost $300 (even in Canadian funds lol). One is a model of the type MarRister mentioned, the Satisfyer. The other two are from the company Womanizer (don't love that name, but whatever) and I like them better and they were more expensive, but still definitely not $300. One time I ordered enough products at once from an online shop they they sent me a 'free gift' that was a disposable clit sucker thingy (non-rechargeable, no replaceable batteries), and although I thought that was a pretty wasteful concept, I tried it out and it did the job well enough. If someone had wanted to actually purchase it, it was quite cheap. I guarantee there's no need to spend $300 if you're curious. If someone is really into sex toys and that's how they want to spend their money, fine, but I would never recommend someone who's new to them shell out a lot. 

[MoraDollie]

CW/TW: In depth anatomical sex talk for the purpose of education, sex toys.

 

Dildos don't suck on the clit by themselves. There's dual function dildos out there that can stimulate the clitoris or around the clitoris while doing things to the actual vaginal canal, but dildos by themselves don't pleasure the clitoris. The "g-spot" is literally just the nerves from the clitoris that extend slightly into the upperwall/ceiling of the vaginal canal.

One of my favorite toys is my pulser. It's called the "satisfyer pro 2". Only around $65 (most of these kinds of specific toys vary between $45-100) and can normally get a nice orgasm within 5-10 minutes. Go to any in person sex store or amazon and you can find clitoris stimulators for $45-100. 

 

The reason why many AFAB can orgasm from clitoris stimulation as opposed to vaginal penetration is that there's a lot of "feel good nerves" around the clitoris. Some AFAB can orgasm from penetration alone but this is overall rare, again because of anatomy. Ideally for clitoral stimulation you want to be gentle at first and gradually build up. Can be done with fingers, toys, tongue, wide variety of tools. Do not rub directly on the clitoris itself (go for the hood, the slither of skin that covers up the clitoris) since the clitoris itself can be extremely sensitive to pressures.

 

Also, lubrication is your friend with toys. Warm up lube can make you slightly more sensitive and therefore more receptive to a potential orgasm.

 

At the end of the day though, a lot of AFAB comes down to mindsets. Make yourself turned on. Put on sexy music. If you like XXX visuals, watch it. If you like XXX erotic stories, read those. Whatever gets your libido gears turning, use those. If you are curious about XXX material but feel like porn is too intimidating, I strongly recommend Literotica's audio selection. They have a huge free library for listeners to listen to with just about any couple combination and/or fetish/kink combination you can imagine. 

 

I do not recommend the hitachi wand for those brand new to sex toys, these wands can be very powerful and painfully overstimulate those brand new to toys, there's also the risk of a temporary numbing sensation.

[EmeraldIce]

12 hours ago, Philip027 said:

Interesting that you say that, because I remember those books and I was never able to get those to "work" either no matter what I tried or how I was instructed (and I gave these a lot more of a try than I ever did with masturbation, hah)

 

It turns out I have a lazy eye condition that leaves me without complete conscious control of both my eyes at once, which leaves me unable to see many flat "3D" effects properly, which I'm assuming includes these books.

I don't exactly know how those books work, but after this post, my husband and I spent a good half hour looking at Magic Eye images together online. 😅

[nutterwithasolderingiron]

i tend to think of them like tools. if it gets the job done, it gets the job done. although i think it's worth saying there's plenty of cheaper toys that do the job.