Need opinion on this...

[thylacine]

Okay guys... I need your opinion... every time I pick up Ms. Magazine, it's all lesbian this and lesbian that... Now, I have nothing against lesbians... but you never, ever see anything about asexual women in Ms.

Well, aren't we living an alternative lifestyle, not having a man to protect us, tell us what to do, pay our bills, and etc.? I think asexual women and men are perfect feminists because we don't live up to all the gender stereotypes. And further, I'm downright sick & tired of the left-wing feminist concept that in order to be a "real feminist" you need to express yourself in a sexual way and be promiscuous or sexually aggressive like a man traditionally is.

Do people here at AVEN think it would be a good idea to get together and contact Ms. and say, hello, we exist? I mean, we have been mentioned in Utne Reader, in major newspapers, on 20/20, on Montel, even on MTV for pete's sakes... and Ms. acts like we don't freakin exist -- and that pisses me off. How about some genuine gender equity in that magazine?

[Charlieee]

Well, I don't know much about Ms. Magazine, but...

That's exactly it. They really can't write about us if they're not aware of our existance. I mean, we're still sort of in that "And now for a little something different" stage in news shows. I wouldn't hold anything against them.

But writing to them is a pretty good idea. :D

[Coleslaw]

Write 'em! They may not have heard of us! Or maybe they have, but no one knows how to broach the subject. The idea of asexuality is still a "Say whaaat?" kind of topic. In my uber limited experience with journalists, if they don't know how to get a foot in the door of a particular topic, they tend to back-shelf the idea for a while, till they can get some contacts.

So write in! Be a contact! Do an interview! There has got to be a writer in their staff that's looking for a "quirky" article to write up on. It could be fun!

[ily]

I'm not really familiar with the mag (I know what it is, but haven't read it) but it sounds like you should write them-- you've got some points that make sense!

[Eta Carinae]

I think this would be a good idea. I also think that it might be a good idea to point out that not only do we exist, but that being asexual isn't necessarily a walk in the park (we're invisible, our romantic relationships aren't regarded as real, etc). The same strain of left wing thought that says that women ought to be pretty sexual also tends to assume that women that aren't sexual don't deal with any (or many) social pressures or problems related to that. You might run into a situation where the magazine writers agree that asexuals exist but decline to write about us because they assume that we don't have real problems and so there's no need to mention us.

[Wicked Freemartin]

I sent a short story to Ms a while back, featuring an asexual character in an asexual relationship. The editor gave me a personal rejection (she rejected it because the story was too long) and asked to see more of my stuff, so I definitely think they're not closed minded about asexuality. Selling non-fiction is a different proposition, but if you contacted the editor and told them about yourself, they might find someone on staff to write an article about it. It's worth a try.

-Wicked

[The Oracle]

I've actually contacted a few online magazines that I read about alternative lifestyles, and specifically asked why there were no (or not more?) asexuality-related lifestyles depicted. Much like an other lifestyle (in my mind), one editor told me that because there are so many different ways to interpret, live, and experience asexual lifestyles, they did not want to box in the orientation by spotlighting one or two ways each issue. Because you know that one person who has never picked up the zine before will read it, generalize and spread the word... My response was, simply, that's something that every lifestyle has to deal with--Look how many lesbian, "cat-lady," etc... stereotypes that there are. I mean, let's get real here:

If you are going to write, which I highly think that you should, be sure to propose suggestions. I mean, personal interviews are one thing, but a Q&A column, or "Living An Asexual Life..." reader response segment, or whatever, the lists are endless on how to approach these things... I don't think that it should be overshadowed for any reason, especially for fear of boxing in a stereotype--that's solved by providing a wide range of examples. :)

[thylacine]

I was thinking of emailing a letter asking them to do an article or consider doing an article...

[AntiBubble]

I was thinking of emailing a letter asking them to do an article or consider doing an article...

I think a slightly better approach would be to contact them as a representative of AVEN, ask if they'd be willing to publish an article, and point them in the direction of an AVENite that's willing to do it. Just asking them to publish an article is a) easier to refuse, and B) makes it more likely that someone who doesn't have a clue will write said article.

[thylacine]

Here is my plan... I was gonna email Ms. & point out that they have plenty of features on lesbians & gays & etc., but none on asexuals, and that MTV news has done features on asexuals, so has the NY Times, Utne Reader, and why haven't they... ? Or I could ask if I did an article would they be interested?

[AntiBubble]

Here is my plan... I was gonna email Ms. & point out that they have plenty of features on lesbians & gays & etc., but none on asexuals, and that MTV news has done features on asexuals, so has the NY Times, Utne Reader, and why haven't they... ? Or I could ask if I did an article would they be interested?

That would be a better approach I think - it makes it easier for them and they're more likely to say yes. If you were to write an article for them, I'd be happy to help you with it.

[cijay]

I think it's a good idea as long as it's 'offered' and not 'bust the door down'. Something along the lines of "I'd like to offer you another point of view..." instead of "...we're sick of reading about gays and lesbians, we're here too y'know" then yeah, go for it.

[thylacine]

Well, it's not that I'm "sick of gays & lesbians"... but lately, that's all yah hear about... what about hearing about somebody else for a change... ???

Anyway, maybe I'll start like this:

Dear Editors:

There have been many features in Ms. Magazine regarding lesbians and / or women who live alternative lifestyles. What we have not seen in Ms. Magazine yet is an article about asexual women and men, and the lifestyles they lead in a culture dominated by the heterosexual paradigm. Our society expects women to both want sex and need men. Our society also expects men to be sexually aggressive. However, there are many of us in this society who have no interest in the pursuit of sexual relationships, and who are comfortable living as individuals complete within ourselves. Throughout history, there have been famous people thought to have been asexual, such as Joan of Arc, Sir Isaac Newton, Queen Elizabeth the First, and Nicola Tesla. Asexual people do not make up a large percentage of the population, but that does not mean we should be forgotten or ignored. Many other publications have featured stories about the lives of asexual people, such as the NY Times, Utne Reader, and MTV News. Asexual people have also appeared on Primetime and 20 / 20. Yet, there have been no articles about asexuality in Ms. Please let me know if your magazine would be interested in reviewing such an article.

Okay... if anyone has anything to add...

Also, if they show any interest, I'd like to get people's personal points of view, and "cut & paste," then put the article for show in AVEN before shipping it off...

What yah think?

[jewel_box554]

I think maybe you should mention AVEN somewhere so they can get material to write about. Other than that I liked it, but I didn't think that Queen Elizabeth was asexual.

[Wicked Freemartin]

Hi Thylacine,

What you seem to be going for is a "query" as opposed to a "Letter to the Editor". I have little experience publishing non-fiction articles, but I'll share with you what I know so you can do it right.

Here are the writer's guidelines for Ms. Magazine:

http://www.msmagazine.com/contact.asp

(scroll down to Submissions). Follow the guidelines.

If you want to write the article yourself, you will have to query them first. If they accept, you then write the article.

Tips for writing query letters can be found here:

http://www.writing.com/main/view_item/item_id/844651

This one is very good: http://www.writing-world.com/basics/query.shtml

And this: http://www.poewar.com/archives/2004/10/24/...a-query-letter/

Many apologies if I'm telling you something you already know. Cearly, if your posts are anything to go by, you're very articulate, so we all know you can put words together.

Good luck!

-Wicked

[Wicked Freemartin]

Oh, and, it's not a good idea to post your unpublished article in a public online forum. Many editors consider any material which has appeared online in a publically accessible place to have been "published" already. It's a big no-no. The magazine may very well decline to buy it. What I'd suggest you do, if you want feedback, is to privately email the article beforehand to a few people you know and trust to critique it.

-Wicked

[ghosts]

Hey thylacine, I think if you want to write something, you should go for it. :) I just wouldn't be too pushy with them although it doesn't seem like you are in your letter- mainly because, a lot of people just don't know about asexuality, even if it has been on Montel and MTV and such- there just isn't a ton of discussion about it at the moment. So as long as you're polite, I hope they will pay attention to what you say and consider including an article(s) on asexuality.

[thylacine]

Okay... update... still thinking about it. Just haven't had time to do it yet...