Charlieee Posted January 18, 2007 Share Posted January 18, 2007 Yes, yes, I know that there are millions of threads on here about this movie, but I just wanna take a moment to offer my own perspective. If you don't know the movie, it features Steve Carrell as this man who's 40 years old, and a virgin (hence the title). His friends, upon discovering this, are determined to make him have sex. Lots of dirty jokes, very inappropriate, and I'd say about 90% of the AVENites who've seen it hate it. I've seen it all the way through twice. That was at my friend's sweet sixteen in March of last year. I absolutely hated it. But, then again, that was before I had found AVEN, or even knew what asexuality was. So, a few days ago, I noticed it was on television. Wanting something I could rant about in my head (come on, I'm a teen, I can be like that ) I turn it on, somewhere in the middle (when he goes to sleep with the girl for the first time). But, to the point of the post, I have to say that AVEN has really changed my perspective on the movie. When I first watched it, I couldn't understand why the rest of the room was laughing hysterically when I'd rather watch the ant crawl up the wall. But now, I can see the finer points of the movie. Like how Steve's character isn't concerned with getting laid, and wants to build his relationship better with Trish (the girl) and her children. It has a wonderful view on the relations between people (and objects, like Steve's action figures) and everything. So, I guess, thanks AVEN for letting me see the bright side of things :D Has this happened to anyone else? You hated a movie (or book or song or...) because it was really sexual (in a bad way, like dirty jokes) but learned to like (or not hate) it because of AVEN? :D ~Charlie, who still can't compress what she writes... :lol: EDIT: Woah... I swear "Relationships" was "Musirants" before... :shock: :oops: Can someone use their modly powers to move this, please? ^_^; I'm sorryyy... Although I can always pass this off as my asexy relationship with the movie... :lol: Link to post Share on other sites
The Oracle Posted January 19, 2007 Share Posted January 19, 2007 I have to say that 40 Year Old Virgin was the only title that I grew to like after discovering asexuality--and not so much AVEN. But your thread has gotten me to think about some other films I've seen and liked for other reasons. For instance, when I first watched the movie Closer (which is called a romance movie for adults), I hated it. I was so uncomfortable with how much promiscuity and senselessness of the "relationships." It wasn't until I took it to be a very pessimistic view of the majority of relationships--and not about the negative influence on sex on relationships. Bah. I had a weird conception of that movie completely. It's been so long since I've watched it. However, I've noticed since I've accepted asexuality, my personal WRITING has changed. I used to avoid sex completely in a story, because I wasn't comfortable with writing or implying and because I didn't want my mother to read it. Haha. But I've actually realized that, like in 40 Year Old Virgin, sex can be present and not the focus of relationship. Like, I'm writing a story about a sheltered world becoming discovered and how that outside influence is affecting the natives. One of the leaders in particular uses sex as a form of domination and control--as a way to pacify those close people who might want to betray him. I'm typing too much. xD The topic interested me. Link to post Share on other sites
thylacine Posted January 19, 2007 Share Posted January 19, 2007 The movie I hate the most, both before and after finding AVEN, is Eyes Wide Shut... Gawd that was just awful. Basically, it features all these orgy scenes, and yah know what, none of the people in the orgy look like they are having any fun at the orgy. As I recall, they all looked bored... I did not get it... why have an orgy if it ain't no fun, people??? This was like a movie with no meaning at all. I was like, What? Now... a movie I did like, which was kind of like soft core porn, was Boogie Nights... Why? Because it had a plot, that's why. It wasn't just about sex, it was about people. People who happened to work in the porn industry, and they were a big dysfunctional family of society's rejects... but you felt sorry for them and felt you could care about these characters. The ending was funny -- I won't bother to tell yah, though -- you better see it for yourselves! Don't be afraid to rent it though, it's kind of filthy, but it's also good for a laugh. Okay -- If you don't want filthy, don't rent it, but it does have a plot, a story to it, good acting... all around, it was a pretty good movie. Link to post Share on other sites
T_S Posted January 19, 2007 Share Posted January 19, 2007 I still hate the 40-year-old virgin, but anyway... I'm not a big movie person. But I think AVEN has changed my perspective in that I used to be terrified when I was watching a movie and I knew a sex scene was coming up. It was just very awkward - not if I was alone, but if there were other people in the room. They're all reacting (smiling, laughing, something like that), but a scene like that was just annoying and pointless to me. Now, while I don't go looking for movies/ books/ etc. with sex in them, I don't care so much if there HAPPENS to be sex in them. It's no longer the type of situation where I'm sitting in a room that suddenly seems crowded thinking (frantically) "What are they reacting to and what SHOULD I be doing right now?" Now it's just, "Well, that's fine for them, but can we get on with the movie please?" Link to post Share on other sites
McBuh Posted January 19, 2007 Share Posted January 19, 2007 Like how Steve's character isn't concerned with getting laid, and wants to build his relationship better with Trish (the girl) and her children. It has a wonderful view on the relations between people (and objects, like Steve's action figures) and everything. That sounds kind of like "Because Why?" a really funny movie. The guy has sex (not shown) but he doesn't want a sexual relationship, per se, just kids. The women want him romantically, if not sexually, which causes the misunderstandings. Link to post Share on other sites
ily Posted January 19, 2007 Share Posted January 19, 2007 I'll speak up as being one of the 10% who liked this movie from the start. I think it's hilarious! :D It seems like most of the people I know take sex so seriously, and it was nice to see it treated in such a zany way. I liked how over the top it was-- poking fun at the sex-crazed "friend" characters just as much as the "virgin" character. Link to post Share on other sites
ghosts Posted January 19, 2007 Share Posted January 19, 2007 Moving to Musirants. :) -ghosts, Relationships mod Link to post Share on other sites
helana12_03 Posted January 19, 2007 Share Posted January 19, 2007 I loved "40 Year Old Virgin", even before I found AVEN because I felt like Steve Carrell was the only person in the world I could relate to(I didn't know any Asexuals back then...) and that his co-workers were just like my co-workers and the rest of the "sex crazed" world. However, I couldn't get why everyone kept laughing about certain scenes which I really didn't find funny, especially the last one of which I couldn't even get the point. Now that I know I'm different, I know why :). Link to post Share on other sites
Bluejeanbabe Posted January 19, 2007 Share Posted January 19, 2007 I too saw the movie before I found AVEN...and I felt sorry somewhat for Steve, cause I felt everybody needs to feel love (or have sex) at least once in their lives...but after I discovered and accepted myself as Asexual from the Montel show, I now feel differently about it. Steve had every right to feel like he did, it wasn't until he had sex that his whole life got upset. (dumped his apple cart) And I know (looking back) that all was good in my life until I too had sex, and then it all went sour. I know now why, it's because I am true to myself now, and I know that what I am feeling and thinking is NORMAL...and I have AVEN to thank for it... As far as eyes wide shut goes...I hear ya, the people even had to hide their faces to have sex...meaningless like it is, they have something to hide. Looking back on my life, I can see now with "Eyes wide open" that all my problems in life, all my bad feelings, and hatered toward others revolved around sex, and jealousy, and temptation....now that I have told others who I am and what I stand for...I have lost all of those bad feelings, and life aint so bad anymore. Link to post Share on other sites
nick007 Posted January 19, 2007 Share Posted January 19, 2007 I liked the 40 Year-Old Virgin partley because I can relate to Steve. My friends are the same way as his. Their mainly from work and their all trying to get me "laid" and I keep telling them that I'm not like that and I don't want it but they don't listen to me. Now if they could find me a woman who's the same way as me, I'd quit complaining about my friends LOL Link to post Share on other sites
Amcan Posted January 19, 2007 Share Posted January 19, 2007 Yes, yes, I know that there are millions of threads on here about this movie, but I just wanna take a moment to offer my own perspective. You did have me worried there charlie - on no not agian NOOOO!!! was my first reaction when seeing this thread title But interesting perspective I have yet to see the movie but I do wonder if all those threads have affected how i will read it (read it as in reading into the text of the movie, the messages nad menaings not actually reading it unless I buy the script off eBay instead of watching the movie which could happen). (and yeah those forums are sneaky things). Link to post Share on other sites
Octarine Posted January 19, 2007 Share Posted January 19, 2007 .... Hmm.... Oh, I got it! Shakespeare in Love! It was horribly cheesy and full of "love" (if you can call immediate snogging, without any conversation at ALL love) at first sight. Needless to say, I HATED it, but at the same time, it was.... educational. And it wouldn't have been if I didn't know I was asexual. Since I know who I am and am able to take pride and confidence in how I feel, I was able to observe people who don't feel as I do without feeling a need to conform. Link to post Share on other sites
ACME Posted January 20, 2007 Share Posted January 20, 2007 i've not really drawn aven into my life enough to have it effect my point of view on things- though i do think it probably made me hate the 40 year old virgin even MORE than i would have in the first place since before finding out that asexuality was a real thing i thought it was a 'problem' in some way. Thats nott o say my mind hanst been changed about these kinds of things though. Up until i was about 17 i was incredibly ignorant and hateful towards the whole idea of relationships, pretty much stemming from the fact that everyone else was going gaga over getting boyfriends and i hated how generic and boring everyone had became. Then i made friends with this guy who i got pretty close with friendship-wise and he explained to me that 'relationships' that the girls i knew were having ( ' omg i met some guy in a bar and had sex with him and now were totally in love..no, i dont know his name lol ' ) were not the same as a 'true' loving couple who are pretty much best friends and know each other inside out etc. that kind of changed my perspective when it came to movies and TV.....but people in irl relationships still piss me off :D. Link to post Share on other sites
newgirl Posted January 21, 2007 Share Posted January 21, 2007 I can't watch this movie because as a virgin i live this life everyday.I don't need a movie to remind me of my life. Link to post Share on other sites
HeatherH Posted January 25, 2007 Share Posted January 25, 2007 Psch, I love The 40-Year-Old Virgin. I saw it in the theatre with my friend and my brother and we couldn't stop laughing. There were parts I didn't look at, but aside from that... I think the reason it was so funny to me was because the character seemed so down-to-earth. It was as if he wanted to know everything about sex, yet at the same time, he didn't care about it at all... he knew there was more to a person than that. Plus the song segment at the end was totally unexpected which just made it that much better. Link to post Share on other sites
Shortass Lady Posted January 27, 2007 Share Posted January 27, 2007 Has anyone else seen '40 Days and 40 Nights'? It was a film out a few years ago about a man who decided to abstain from any sexual activity for that time. I did enjoy it in one way, but in another way I found it a bit icky, about how obsessive this bloke became about sex. To be honest it made me feel in a way relieved to be asexual in the way that I am...not having all this bother about pent-up sex drive! Link to post Share on other sites
McBuh Posted January 27, 2007 Share Posted January 27, 2007 I can't watch this movie because as a virgin i live this life everyday.I don't need a movie to remind me of my life. I know what you mean. I absolutely refuse to watch Saw. Link to post Share on other sites
nick007 Posted January 27, 2007 Share Posted January 27, 2007 For some rezon these post reminded me of the movie ComedyCentral created called Porn n Chicken. Based on a real story, it's about these guys and girls at this college who start a club where they watch porn and eat chicken(hence the tital) but then they decide to make their own porno and they start buying all kinds of fruit to use. It's been years sence I've seen it but all it did was make me depressed cuz I didn't relly understand any of it. Link to post Share on other sites
__AJ__ Posted January 27, 2007 Share Posted January 27, 2007 I liked the movie :D Link to post Share on other sites
the.bree Posted January 28, 2007 Share Posted January 28, 2007 I hate this movie, because when it came out, all my friends were like "Oh look, thats YOUR movie." Not even being aware of asexuality at the time, I was confused and did not appreciate my lifestyle choices (or lack thereof) being thrown in my face. Sex in movies makes me really uncomfortable, especially if I'm around other people. I know that I'm expected to be mature, but I always want to just shut my eyes until its over. Link to post Share on other sites
cijay Posted January 28, 2007 Share Posted January 28, 2007 I can't watch this movie because as a virgin i live this life everyday.I don't need a movie to remind me of my life. I can't watch it because it just sounds like something a bunch of 14 year olds who still giggle at farts came up with. It doesn't sound like this movie is about MY LIFE at all. Link to post Share on other sites
eipione Posted February 2, 2007 Share Posted February 2, 2007 I liked 40 Year Old Virgin, but I hated that movie Wedding Crashers. All of my friends LOVED it and laughed through the whole movie, and I didn't think any of it was very funny. Link to post Share on other sites
melonchaat Posted February 2, 2007 Share Posted February 2, 2007 I hate this movie, because when it came out, all my friends were like "Oh look, thats YOUR movie." Same here - I collect action figures in their original boxes and my friends were all like "oh my god, you're Andy! You're the 20-year-old virgin!" Some of the film was funny enough, but the ribbing I had for it has sort of sullied that... Link to post Share on other sites
newgirl Posted February 4, 2007 Share Posted February 4, 2007 I can't watch this movie because as a virgin i live this life everyday.I don't need a movie to remind me of my life. I know what you mean. I absolutely refuse to watch Saw. Ok!! :shock: :lol: Link to post Share on other sites
Fayetje Posted February 6, 2007 Share Posted February 6, 2007 I too was able to appreciate The 40 Year Old Virgin movie because of my asexuality. I can't really remember what I thought was so great about it...it's been a few months...but even though the humour was crude it still provoked some interesting thoughts. Link to post Share on other sites
jaybird721 Posted February 6, 2007 Share Posted February 6, 2007 For some rezon these post reminded me of the movie ComedyCentral created called Porn n Chicken. Based on a real story, it's about these guys and girls at this college who start a club where they watch porn and eat chicken(hence the tital) but then they decide to make their own porno and they start buying all kinds of fruit to use. It's been years sence I've seen it but all it did was make me depressed cuz I didn't relly understand any of it. Is that why the guys in my class are lobbying to have a 'porn and chicken' party? :idea: Link to post Share on other sites
Flour Confessor Posted February 6, 2007 Share Posted February 6, 2007 I loved The 40-Year-Old Virgin. Not so much for the message about sex equaling victory, but for the clever, topical writing and hysterical character personalities (Judd Apatow is a master). I guess my appreciation for the more creative and artistic aspects of putting the movie together outweighed my lack of appreciation for the sexual theme. But that said, I didn't completely "fail to appreciate" the sexual theme, either. Even though I'm asexual, I understand and am basically unbothered that most people aren't. The story wasn't about a bunch of asexuals, it was about a sexual guy who simply never managed to have sex. When I see my friends with their significant others or even see sex or romantic relationships in movies, I don't shrivel up and wallow in my angst--I just sort of smile to myself, knowing that I'm asexual. Kind of tough to explain, I suppose, but 40-Year-Old Virgin really did make me laugh. Not because I could entirely relate, but because it was a brilliantly acted modern pop culture classic. Also, Steve Carrell just rocks. Link to post Share on other sites
LemonLime Posted February 7, 2007 Share Posted February 7, 2007 I loved "40"! Under the crud of low-brow humor (which I loved) is a sweet love story. Probably the most sincere love story that I've seen in a long time. Involved not only falling in love, but becoming part of a family and growing to become a better overall person. Link to post Share on other sites
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