MorningHaze Posted April 16, 2021 Share Posted April 16, 2021 Hello I don't know if it's the right place to ask but i've been wondering if what i'm feeling is related to the fact that i'm asexual so. Basically, I used to quite enjoy masturbating (i am afab) because well it felt good but then and even now, i never seemed to get the kind of orgasm that everyone talks about. It's partially for this reason that now, I find myself hating the fact that I wanna masturbate. It's like my body (especially my lower part ofc) want it but the rest of me just hate it and don't see the point of doing it anymore. It's not even that enjoyable for me, maybe even boring and unnecessary and quite often I wish my libido would just disappear entierely or even wish I had no private parts at all. I don't know if anyone feel this way or if i'm doing something wrong, i wish there was a guide or something 😆 Link to post Share on other sites
Auggie123 Posted April 16, 2021 Share Posted April 16, 2021 I mostly feel this way. Libido is annoying and life would be easier if my body were genderless (I'm cis). For me, I'm sure masturbation feels good in the moment but its really kinda eh and definitely not the reason I do it. Link to post Share on other sites
Zagadka Posted April 16, 2021 Share Posted April 16, 2021 Most of the time, it is just a chore. I get this pent up feeling, not anything enjoyable or exciting, and not always but it can be hard to force myself into the "mood". Plus it can be very dysphoric and leave a lot of guilt for some people. The seconds of physical pleasure are really just... disappointing. Link to post Share on other sites
MorningHaze Posted April 16, 2021 Author Share Posted April 16, 2021 2 minutes ago, Zagadka said: Most of the time, it is just a chore. I get this pent up feeling 2 minutes ago, Zagadka said: The seconds of physical pleasure are really just... disappointing. Exactly. I wish there was a way to turn it off Link to post Share on other sites
Purple Red Panda Posted April 16, 2021 Share Posted April 16, 2021 I think in an ideal world I'd not feel the need to or probably just have a libido that I could turn on and off as I see fit. That being said I don't hate it, it's just a thing that needs to be taken care of. Link to post Share on other sites
NewStart Posted April 16, 2021 Share Posted April 16, 2021 I don’t hate it or think it’s a bad thing, I just don’t feel a need to do it. Link to post Share on other sites
GingerRose Posted April 16, 2021 Share Posted April 16, 2021 1 hour ago, MorningHaze said: enjoy masturbating You can ask yourself some thought reflection questions: You don't have to answer them on here, just to yourself, may help. ~Do you want to enjoy masturbation again? ~What did you enjoy about it? ~What is now causing you to dislike it? ~Have you changed how you masturbate that is making it less enjoyable? ~Did someone say something that made you start to feel uncomfortable with it? ~Are you open to trying new ways to masturbate? Does your body need something new, to enjoy it again? Link to post Share on other sites
GingerRose Posted April 16, 2021 Share Posted April 16, 2021 Personally I enjoy it, I'm a cis female. Link to post Share on other sites
robnrdbrd Posted April 16, 2021 Share Posted April 16, 2021 Where are you when you feel the urge? Ever tried to just move yourself into a different room, outside for some fresh air, declare you're going to start a completely different activity instead? Link to post Share on other sites
TormentDubz Posted April 16, 2021 Share Posted April 16, 2021 Yeah I hate the idea of it and therefore avoid it Link to post Share on other sites
rebis Posted April 16, 2021 Share Posted April 16, 2021 2 hours ago, MorningHaze said: well it felt good but then and even now, i never seemed to get the kind of orgasm that everyone talks about. It's partially for this reason that now, I find myself hating the fact that I wanna masturbate. It's like my body (especially my lower part ofc) want it but the rest of me just hate it and don't see the point of doing it anymore. It's not even that enjoyable I don't know, it kind of sounds to me like you are letting consideration of other people interfere in absolutely the last place where it ever should. Other people's orgasms are pretty irrelevant to your masturbation -- or should be, I'd say. I mean, honestly, I'm not even quite sure what you mean about the kind of orgasm people talk about ... guessing you mean like the whole earth-shattering, absolutely mind-blowing, being totally overwhelmed with endless waves of pleasure kind of orgasm? I mean, if that's what you mean -- nobody gets that all the time, and most people's orgasms are not like that most of the time. I don't hate masturbation, I feel like it is one of life's simplest pleasures, however small it might be. You said that you used to enjoy it because it felt good, and in my opinion, that's really reason enough. I mean, I don't tend to hate much of anything that's enjoyable, just because it's not more enjoyable. Anything could theoretically always be better than it is ... and I think there's little enough joy in life, that we should really appreciate every bit of it that we are allowed. Not to make it a philosophical thin, but my two cents! Link to post Share on other sites
Undecided2 Posted April 16, 2021 Share Posted April 16, 2021 10 minutes ago, rebis said: I don't know, it kind of sounds to me like you are letting consideration of other people interfere in absolutely the last place where it ever should.... I'm not even quite sure what you mean about the kind of orgasm people talk about ... guessing you mean like the whole earth-shattering, absolutely mind-blowing, being totally overwhelmed with endless waves of pleasure kind of orgasm? I mean, if that's what you mean -- nobody gets that all the time, and most people's orgasms are not like that most of the time. I second this. I find my orgasms largely vary and there are a number of dependent factors including (but not limited to): whether the experience is rushed, exactly what touch is happening, general mood, arousal level, how much emotion is involved, etc. Feeling relaxed and really being in the moment is key to my enjoyment. If I focus too much on achieving orgasm or am conscious of my surroundings it is less enjoyable. Link to post Share on other sites
Raire Posted April 17, 2021 Share Posted April 17, 2021 I don't enjoy it. It's something I occasionally remind myself to do though (to keep the 'tubes from furring up' or something!) but if I can get away with it, I'll avoid it. Link to post Share on other sites
a little annihilation Posted April 17, 2021 Share Posted April 17, 2021 15 hours ago, MorningHaze said: It's like my body (especially my lower part ofc) want it but the rest of me just hate it and don't see the point of doing it anymore. It's not even that enjoyable for me, maybe even boring and unnecessary and quite often I wish my libido would just disappear entirely or even wish I had no private parts at all. I relate to this a lottt Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted April 17, 2021 Share Posted April 17, 2021 No but I feel like I don't have a choice in the matter 😕 Link to post Share on other sites
Skycaptain Posted April 18, 2021 Share Posted April 18, 2021 It's less enjoyable now I identify as demi rather than asexual. Link to post Share on other sites
pma01 Posted April 20, 2021 Share Posted April 20, 2021 I really enjoy it, it’s not always about the orgasm. I just truly enjoy my masturbation, I can’t think of a time when it was ever boring, on the other hand I do like to change things up occasionally. Link to post Share on other sites
lifewatery Posted April 21, 2021 Share Posted April 21, 2021 On 4/16/2021 at 10:12 PM, MorningHaze said: I find myself hating the fact that I wanna masturbate. It's like my body (especially my lower part ofc) want it but the rest of me just hate it and don't see the point of doing it anymore... ...quite often I wish my libido would just disappear entirely or even wish I had no private parts at all. I actually feel same about it, tho my body only wants it/ remind me of its existence when the specific time of the month comes close (AFAB over here). I just hate it when those thoughts cloud my mind and i wish it to just disappear entirely at that times. For my case, i generally do my best to avoid the thoughts and feels by waiting them to stop or by trying to change my mind's attention to something else. Link to post Share on other sites
taetae Posted April 21, 2021 Share Posted April 21, 2021 Ok, so I may enjoy orgasms occasionally but, firstly, I rarely feel my libido, secondly, they are never super exciting, thirdly, I feel stupid afterwards. It really is just the confusion of mind-body bond. My body feels something and wants something, but my mind is so not up to it. I catch myself feeling annoyed when I feel libido. There are times when I just masturbate and then don't feel anything negative but these are rare. I sometimes feel bad afterwards because I have some fucked up fetishes, too 😅 Link to post Share on other sites
FauxDandy Posted April 25, 2021 Share Posted April 25, 2021 I enjoy it, it feels good and is, what I find, the quickest way to get my mind back on track and focus my thoughts on what's really important to me. If I try to avoid it I find myself feeling quite lethargic. I used to really resent having to do it when the feeling would arise (not often but every now and again) but I've come to accept that it's definitely the best thing to rather than put it off and let my libido slowly rise. Link to post Share on other sites
Zagadka Posted April 25, 2021 Share Posted April 25, 2021 Does anyone else feel like the entire physical procedure is just awkward and embarrassing? Like, if someone walked in on me, I wouldn't be ashamed of masturbating, I'd just be embarrassed to look like an idiot (well, and not happy about being seen naked, I hate even seeing myself naked). I mean, sex positions are awkward, too, but masturbation is worse to behold. It just seems so goofy. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted April 25, 2021 Share Posted April 25, 2021 1 hour ago, Zagadka said: Like, if someone walked in on me, I wouldn't be ashamed of masturbating, I'd just be embarrassed to look like an idiot (well, and not happy about being seen naked, I hate even seeing myself naked). This is way TMI so !warning! but I do it with all my clothes on (pants up) and using a towel, so if anyone walked in I could probably just act natural and they wouldn't know anything strange had been happening :D 1 hour ago, Zagadka said: Does anyone else feel like the entire physical procedure is just awkward and embarrassing? But yeah I do feel that way a bit. Not when it's 'with' someone else' (like I've shared it with someone who I developed an emotional connection with but only online while texting if that makes sense? haha) .. But when it's just me (which is always these days) it's like 'seriously? Y_Y' haha. I do feel much better if I just get it done, rather than ignoring it, but I do totally understand what you're saying about it being awkward. Though actually most of what I do is awkward and/or embarrassing so I'm not sure why it's that one in particular that gets my goat more than the others!! Link to post Share on other sites
KayleeK Posted April 28, 2021 Share Posted April 28, 2021 On 4/17/2021 at 5:12 AM, MorningHaze said: often I wish my libido would just disappear entierely or even wish I had no private parts at all. Yeah i often feel a bit disgusted about private parts, i just dont really look at mine much. I dont ever feel I 'have to' masturbate, but do occasionally. I think for me the main thing i like is coming up with a whole fantasy story in my head. I guess i have a good imagination because for me that is the fun part - imagining these characters and a whole story and the sexual chemistry between them. And somehow I guess I am living through these imaginary characters and its way more exciting then my own boring life. Link to post Share on other sites
DemonicEnby Posted April 30, 2021 Share Posted April 30, 2021 I neither dislike nor particularly like masturbation and rarely have any urges today. On the rare occasion that I indulge myself it is more of a "getting it over with and taking the edge off" though in an enjoyable way. Link to post Share on other sites
MorningHaze Posted May 1, 2021 Author Share Posted May 1, 2021 16 hours ago, Fanny Magnet said: Sex with someone I love!. what are you trying to say Link to post Share on other sites
Sweet Flowers Posted June 11, 2021 Share Posted June 11, 2021 Hate hate HATE it. Even being slightly aroused triggers my sex repulsion and trying to masturbate makes it even worse. I wish my libido would just go away for good. Link to post Share on other sites
Linius Posted June 11, 2021 Share Posted June 11, 2021 This is a big problem for me. For prosexuals, there are many guides and books on how to get rid of masturbation. What should I do? I have no fantasies, no addiction to porn, I do not look at girls, etc. Masturbation as pure action just somehow works and sucks my strength. If it were rare, every few months or once a month, it wouldn't be a problem. And it's even more embarrassing that many asexuals live without it and in theory I can somehow also. Over the past 5-6 years, I have tried everything that can be found on the Internet from the methods of struggle and everything that I can count on 2-3 per month. With tons of effort. Link to post Share on other sites
TormentDubz Posted June 11, 2021 Share Posted June 11, 2021 I'm getting better at suppressing stuff down there luckily Link to post Share on other sites
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