HelloGiggles -- "4 People With Ace Identities On What People Get Wrong About Asexuality"

[scarletlatitude]

https://hellogiggles.com/love-sex/sex-irl/what-is-asexual/

 

25 March 2021

 

Quote

Not everyone's comfortable talking about their sex life, but knowing what goes on in other people's bedrooms can help us all feel more inspired, curious, and validated in our own experiences. In HG's monthly column Sex IRL, we'll talk to real people about their sexual adventures and get as frank as possible.

 

The LGBTQIA+ community is not a monolith, but sometimes our experiences are all lumped together, erased, or invalidated in larger conversations. Asexual people ("ace" for short), are just one of the groups that are often left out of the conversation, along with trans/non-binary/gender-nonconforming, bisexual/pansexual, and intersex people, plus those who are further marginalized.

 

"Asexuality" is defined as the lack of sexual attraction to others or having a very low desire for sexual activity. Sexual and romantic attraction exists on a spectrum and includes people who are graysexual/grayromantic, demisexual/demiromantic, reciprosexual/recipromantic, akoisexual/akoiromantic, and aceflux/aroflux. The most common definition of asexual implies that all asexual people experience a total absence of sexual attraction, but this isn't true—there are people who exist within the gray areas; people who experience an attraction that is sexual, but not romantic; and people who still engage in intimate, but nonsexual relationships.

 

According to a 2019 study conducted by the Williams Institute at the UCLA School of Law, 1.7 percent of sexual minority adults identify as asexual. Some additional findings include: ace people reported facing more everyday discrimination and stigma than non-asexual queer people and more than half of those surveyed had engaged in sexual activity and were just as likely to be in an intimate relationship as non-asexual (allosexual) queer people. Data from this and other studies matter because it helps us move past the widely held misconceptions that ace people don't experience sexual attraction or have sex or date at all; that all ace people are queer, or that they are "broken" in some way.

 

Ahead, I spoke to a few ace people about how they navigate both platonic and romantic relationships, how allosexual people can be more affirming of their experiences, and how they came to terms with their identities. Here's what they shared.

Click the article link to read the rest!