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Samantha L

Divorced with a Child and Finding Out I'm not Broken

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Samantha L

After two decades of pretending to be sexual and being abusively pathologized for not wanting or initiating sex, I finally came across the term asexual. This is me and it always has been. I didn't know it was okay to be this way. I didn't know it was okay to be me. It's been five years since I left the marriage. I have a beautiful eight year old son, and now I feel like I can fully be comfortable in my own skin and teach my son that no matter what anyone or society says, you are unique, you are enough, and you are worthy of love just the way you are. 

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Georgi

Congratulations 😁! I know, the feeling when you discover that you are not actually broken or weird and that you are valid is really fantastic! And you do a great job with your son! Welcome to the community! :cake:

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Nowhere Girl

Nobody is broken. "Broken" is an appropriate word for a machine or other object - for example, a hammer from which the head fell off or a washing machine which stopped working. But people are not "broken". People are infinitely diverse and we should expand our understanding of what is "normal" to include everyone who is able to live in peace with other people. The mere fact that something is important for most people doesn't make those who don't like it "broken". Pathologisation of asexuality, celibacy and sexual disinterest should stop right now. A sociocultural reality of compulsory sexuality is harmful to everyone because it is a fertile ground for situations in which people might force theselves to have sex against their preference.

In more simple words: nobody should have unwanted sex. Ever.

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Luftschlosseule

Welcome. (:

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Nowhere Girl

Oh, and also: we have a tradition of serving new users virtual cake, and, following @MichaelTannock's example, I began looking for cakes to best suit a particular user (based on their username or other information they have given about themselves). So here's an L-shaped cake for you:

d1e4529bf358c7385092cccb04e1c577.jpg

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MichaelTannock

@Samantha L Welcome to AVEN!

 

I'm glad that you can be yourself now after finding out about asexuality!

 

It is a tradition to welcome new members by offering cake, and here's an "Art of Gardening" cake,

https://cakesdecor.com/cakes/140226-art-of-gardening

slpwm9fwdpveehojsuc7.jpg

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fairyofsuburbia

Welcome :) Great that you've become comfortable with yourself!

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Lichley

Welcome! A very good message to teach :D 

chocolate-truffle-cake-dark-chocolate-ca

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