Ray-Chan Posted January 1, 2020 Share Posted January 1, 2020 That's a tough one. I dont think i have any advise, more like i get there you are coming from. A year and a half ago I got our of a five year relationship with my bestfriend. The reason we broke up was because of the whole us fighting about having sex. The fights we would have about it would be so bad that we were making each other miserable. I dont think that trying to do something is bad. You are allowed to try kissing if you so do desire to try. If you dont like it, that is fine. Experimenting what you are comfortable to do is great as long as the other person knows your experimenting and accepts the boundaries that you feel like is best for you. Link to post Share on other sites
doggalogga Posted January 1, 2020 Share Posted January 1, 2020 Within the ace spectrum are squillions of differences between individuals I am personally quite a hands-on person, despite being ace. I love physical closeness. I am not averse to any part of the body, really.I love kissing. I love coming in close and cuddling. I get no sexual thrill from anything, but I love the sensual nature of it all. I didn't experience my first proper kiss until I was late 20s. It wasn't overly comfortable at first, but I grew into it. My previous partner of note was sexual. She wanted more than just kissing though. I went as far as giving her oral - which she really appreciated. I didn't mind it at all. It did nothing for me sexually, but I enjoyed the physical closeness, and the pleasure it gave her. My experiences may not be typical (neither is being ace though), so nothing you do is wrong. It's all about exploration, and having your own boundaries. There is no right or wrong. If you do try kissing and find you don't like it, that's fine. At least you'll have more defined boundaries. However, if you don't feel comfortable kissing, then don't feel pressure to either. Maybe even ask your partner how they feel. They may be completely unconcerned about it. As far as they're concerned, you may be the perfect partner who makes them feel complete due to who you are, how you treat them, how you share things together, resulting in the good way you make them feel. Link to post Share on other sites
Yuliyasa Posted January 1, 2020 Share Posted January 1, 2020 Agreed with Ray-Chan. Only other thing I could say is that well maybe you should ask her how she feels about kissing and ask for her honest opinion about it. I personally have always loved kissing the person I had been with if I was in love with them. So whenever my partner and I wouldn't get along obviously I didn't want to kiss them and found it alarming when the other person still wanted to do affectionate things even in the midst of problems. Anyways that's just personal preference in my opinion. So yea, find out what you like and what you don't like (don't want to scare you, but it can take years at least it did for me and only life experiences seem to really clarify these things, but of course that's if you have a really practical personality type). Good luck! Link to post Share on other sites
mintteaa Posted January 5, 2020 Author Share Posted January 5, 2020 ... Link to post Share on other sites
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