Whore*of*Mensa Posted October 25, 2019 Share Posted October 25, 2019 https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2019/oct/25/my-boyfriend-doesnt-seem-attracted-could-he-be-gay Two things I find very interesting about this 1. The response 'If you don't feel desired in a sexual relationship it can be utterly demoralising (I get dozens of letters about this every week)' This is apparently a very common problem, is the 1% the tip of the iceberg? Once we are actually allowed to talk openly about sexuality (or lack thereof) who knows what may come out?? (pardon the pun) 2. The advice from the sex and relationship therapist: 'He may be less sexually experienced...He may be shy...you may have mismatched libidos' (what could possibly be missing from this list of possible causes???) *I edited my comments out and then back in again, just to be clear on my own thoughts about this! I would have thought asexuality a more likely option than anything mentioned in the article. Link to post Share on other sites
Philip027 Posted October 25, 2019 Share Posted October 25, 2019 Idk, I think the vast majority of instances of partner A not being "attracted" to partner B (whatever THAT means) isn't a result of partner A being gay or ace or whatever, but simply exactly what it is -- partner A isn't "attracted" to partner B, but they nevertheless somehow ended up together for one reason or another. People make stupid decisions when it comes to relationships sometimes. A... lot... of stupid decisions. Partner A having a different orientation than expected should certainly be mentioned as a possible cause, but I don't even think it's the most likely cause. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted October 25, 2019 Share Posted October 25, 2019 I think there are still too many people that think it’s not possible to be an asexual man. Personally, I’m fed up of people assuming homosexuality. Asexual men exist... 🙄 Link to post Share on other sites
Whore*of*Mensa Posted October 25, 2019 Author Share Posted October 25, 2019 7 minutes ago, Invisible Man said: Asexual men exist... Hooray for that! Link to post Share on other sites
BlakeTheNightowl~ Posted October 25, 2019 Share Posted October 25, 2019 woohoo he's ace Link to post Share on other sites
Whore*of*Mensa Posted October 25, 2019 Author Share Posted October 25, 2019 5 minutes ago, Blake23 said: woohoo he's ace Are you being sarky? Is it bad to be happy that asexuals exist? Link to post Share on other sites
BlakeTheNightowl~ Posted October 25, 2019 Share Posted October 25, 2019 10 minutes ago, Whore*of*Mensa said: Are you being sarky? Is it bad to be happy that asexuals exist? uh no i'm very much happy asexuals exist ? just stop assuming he's gay ! Link to post Share on other sites
Whore*of*Mensa Posted October 25, 2019 Author Share Posted October 25, 2019 5 minutes ago, Blake23 said: uh no i'm very much happy asexuals exist ? just stop assuming he's gay ! Ah no, I wasn't honestly, I was posting the article because I thought the assumption was wrong. Link to post Share on other sites
Phantasmal Fingers Posted October 25, 2019 Share Posted October 25, 2019 There's something missing from your list. 😮 Maybe he's just a complete ****! 🤣 P.S. Will that do for sarcasm? Link to post Share on other sites
Whore*of*Mensa Posted October 25, 2019 Author Share Posted October 25, 2019 12 minutes ago, Moderne Jazzhanden said: There's something missing from your list. 😮 Maybe he's just a complete ****! 🤣 P.S. Will that do for sarcasm? Please can I be clear it wasn't my list, I posted a link to an article on a problem page then quoted the article. I don't know if you read the link or not. I'm massively confused by the last two comments. I thought the guy in the article sounded nice and in fact like my ideal boyfriend that I sadly never met....I think the advice given is terrible...My advice would be, let him go find a nice asexual girlfriend who will love him for who he is!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Phantasmal Fingers Posted October 25, 2019 Share Posted October 25, 2019 1 minute ago, Whore*of*Mensa said: I'm massively confused. Never mind! Forget it. Sometimes humour doesn't work on the internet. 😮 Link to post Share on other sites
Whore*of*Mensa Posted October 25, 2019 Author Share Posted October 25, 2019 Just now, Moderne Jazzhanden said: Never mind! Forget it. Sometimes humour doesn't work on the internet. 😮 It's me, I think, I'm a bit drunk and I never get sarcasm 😅 Link to post Share on other sites
Phantasmal Fingers Posted October 25, 2019 Share Posted October 25, 2019 9 minutes ago, Whore*of*Mensa said: It's me, I think, I'm a bit drunk and I never get sarcasm 😅 😂 Well **** you, then! 😵 😭 Only kidding! 🤣 Link to post Share on other sites
R_1 Posted October 25, 2019 Share Posted October 25, 2019 Or maybe your partner is just not into you, and you ain't all that. Some people believe everybody of their gender preference is sexually attracted to them. That being said, people should explore all possibilities first.. Link to post Share on other sites
Phantasmal Fingers Posted October 25, 2019 Share Posted October 25, 2019 2 minutes ago, R_1 said: Or maybe your partner is just not into you, and you ain't all that. Some people believe everybody of their gender preference is attracted to them. You mean Whore*of*Mensa is full of herself? 😮 Are you taking the ****? 😵 Link to post Share on other sites
R_1 Posted October 25, 2019 Share Posted October 25, 2019 4 minutes ago, Moderne Jazzhanden said: You mean Whore*of*Mensa is full of herself? 😮 Are you taking the ****? 😵 No, not at all. But, it's one possibility why someone might not be attracted to them. As other people say, it's not even the most likely possibility. It's far more likely the partner isn't sexually attracted to them rather than the orientation being incompatible. Link to post Share on other sites
Phantasmal Fingers Posted October 25, 2019 Share Posted October 25, 2019 2 minutes ago, R_1 said: It's far more likely the partner isn't sexually attracted to them rather than the orientation being incompatible. Really?!? How do you know? Link to post Share on other sites
Whore*of*Mensa Posted October 25, 2019 Author Share Posted October 25, 2019 24 minutes ago, R_1 said: Or maybe your partner is just not into you, and you ain't all that. Some people believe everybody of their gender preference is sexually attracted to them. That being said, people should explore all possibilities first.. I mean, am I missing the sarcasm again but IT IS NOT ABOUT ME...But surely, most people believe their partner is sexually attracted to them? If not then I'd have had a much easier life and wouldn't be on here. Link to post Share on other sites
Homer Posted October 26, 2019 Share Posted October 26, 2019 I actually quite like that sex is described as just another way of communication. It just happens to be something that seems to work for most people. These two obviously aren't among them, so they'd have to find something else to express their feelings in a way that both of them understand and that gets both of them on the same page. It doesn't even matter whether he's gay or asexual or rama-lama-ding-dong-sexual. Link to post Share on other sites
Whore*of*Mensa Posted October 26, 2019 Author Share Posted October 26, 2019 13 hours ago, Homer said: I actually quite like that sex is described as just another way of communication. It just happens to be something that seems to work for most people. These two obviously aren't among them, so they'd have to find something else to express their feelings in a way that both of them understand and that gets both of them on the same page. It doesn't even matter whether he's gay or asexual or rama-lama-ding-dong-sexual. Ah yes, ha ha, the language of LUURVE. I dont' speak it! 😂😂 Link to post Share on other sites
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