•◡• Posted July 8, 2019 Share Posted July 8, 2019 Hi, I'm currently trying to figure out my romantic orientation so here goes. I'm most definitely not aromantic, I think I'm kind of the opposite. I constantly have crushes. So so many crushes. Pretty much every girl I talk to that's even remotely nice actually. I end up just sort of ignoring how I feel about everyone I meet except one person who is the person I'll tell you is my crush if you ask. I usually just like ("like" like, sorry for my childish language) this one person more and more untill something happens. Those things could be one of us switching schools, them getting a in a relationship, ect. At that point I sort of just choose another person to obsess over. So also I don't know if this is important at all but I don't get attracted to random people on the street, not sure if that's normal. Does anyone feel romantic attraction before taking to someone? Then there's this other thing. I think I have sort of had crushes on my male friends as well as female ones. The main difference is that I didn't call them crushes. At the time I was almost certain I was straight, oops. I started to feel the same sort of thing about a male friend that I did so many of my female friends and immediately tried to convince myself that it wasn't a crush. Actually my main reason was that I didn't feel sexually attracted to him, so I had to be straight. I completely overlooked the fact that I haven't felt sexually attracted to anybody. I can be very dull sometimes Anyways, if you can actually make sense of all these disconnected points and have some sort of word that could describe this, I would love to hear it Link to post Share on other sites
Alawyn-Aebt Posted July 8, 2019 Share Posted July 8, 2019 6 minutes ago, •◡• said: I constantly have crushes. So so many crushes. Pretty much every girl I talk to that's even remotely nice actually. With these crushes, what exactly are you obsessing over? Their personality? Their looks? Their intelligence? Something else? What exactly would you theoretically want to do with them? 8 minutes ago, •◡• said: Does anyone feel romantic attraction before taking to someone? Depends on how you define romantic attraction. I definitely experience some attraction to people before talking to them (I know this will sound weird, but usually over some perception of academic intelligence). Whether or not that is romantic attraction I do not know though. Link to post Share on other sites
Ringmaster04 Posted July 8, 2019 Share Posted July 8, 2019 22 minutes ago, •◡• said: So also I don't know if this is important at all but I don't get attracted to random people on the street, not sure if that's normal. Does anyone feel romantic attraction before taking to someone? Yes, it usually starts in the form of aesthetic attraction but my mind moves it straight into romantic attraction. Where I live, it's common for me to experience it in public places, particularly trains, malls, etc. There's definitely a romantic interest in my mind prior to talking to the person (if I even get a chance to talk to them). Link to post Share on other sites
•◡• Posted July 8, 2019 Author Share Posted July 8, 2019 1 minute ago, Aebt said: With these crushes, what exactly are you obsessing over? I obsess over personality (though to be honest I find that almost every person's personality is interesting enough to obsess over) and all the different things they do, like painting or music or something. 3 minutes ago, Aebt said: What exactly would you theoretically want to do with them? I think it's usually something like wanting to go on a walk with them or talk to them or maybe even hold hands but that last one scares me. Also I've found that a lot of people think it's weird if you want to make someone happy, so if I was in a relationship I wouldn't have to feel strange trying to cheer someone up. 3 minutes ago, Ringmaster04 said: Yes, it usually starts in the form of aesthetic attraction but my mind moves it straight into romantic attraction. Where I live, it's common for me to experience it in public places, particularly trains, malls, etc. There's definitely a romantic interest in my mind prior to talking to the person (if I even get a chance to talk to them). That's really interesting, thanks for sharing. 19 minutes ago, Aebt said: I definitely experience some attraction to people before talking to them (I know this will sound weird, but usually over some perception of academic intelligence). Actually I think I might sort of get this sometimes. If I see someone in a bookstore or library I usually hope they'll talk to me (which is actually quite stupid, people don't usually go to a library for a conversation) but this isn't really the same. It's more of me wanting to have a crush on them without having one yet Link to post Share on other sites
SkeletonCat Posted July 9, 2019 Share Posted July 9, 2019 I also get crushes all the time. I'd say my crushes on guys, or masculine-presenting people begin aesthetic and become romantic. I want to be physically affectionate with them. I get squishes on women, or feminine-presenting people. I want to hang out with them, or I just find them aesthetically attractive and want to just look at them and admire them. I do experience aesthetic attraction before talking to someone, but once I do talk to someone, it can fade away immediately if the person is rude or seems ignorant. If they're nice, curious, and intellectually stimulating, my crush grows and can become romantic or squishy. Link to post Share on other sites
Alawyn-Aebt Posted July 9, 2019 Share Posted July 9, 2019 16 hours ago, •◡• said: I think it's usually something like wanting to go on a walk with them or talk to them or maybe even hold hands but that last one scares me. What would you talk about? Or does it not matter? Or has the thought never crossed your mind? 16 hours ago, •◡• said: I obsess over personality It does seem like a crush-type situation based on what you have said. Might be a more milder form of crush but also more frequent for you. Link to post Share on other sites
•◡• Posted July 9, 2019 Author Share Posted July 9, 2019 2 hours ago, Aebt said: What would you talk about? Or does it not matter? Or has the thought never crossed your mind? I never thought about what we would be taking about. I don't think it really matters to me Link to post Share on other sites
RakshaTheCat Posted July 13, 2019 Share Posted July 13, 2019 On 7/9/2019 at 10:50 AM, •◡• said: I think it's usually something like wanting to go on a walk with them or talk to them or maybe even hold hands but that last one scares me. Also I've found that a lot of people think it's weird if you want to make someone happy, so if I was in a relationship I wouldn't have to feel strange trying to cheer someone up. Maybe it's just a need for emotional intimacy? I always had that, I was even naive enough to think that people form relationships because of that need. A lot of people think it's weird because they have emotional depth of potato and are only nice to someone if they want something from them (like sex). Personally, I use that as indicator to remove them from my life 😺 Link to post Share on other sites
•◡• Posted July 15, 2019 Author Share Posted July 15, 2019 On 7/13/2019 at 2:56 PM, Marcin said: I was even naive enough to think that people form relationships because of that need. People don't? Oh boy, I think I might be a bit stupid. You could be right. That does sound accurate, I just thought that was what romantic attraction was... Link to post Share on other sites
RakshaTheCat Posted July 15, 2019 Share Posted July 15, 2019 29 minutes ago, •◡• said: People don't? Oh boy, I think I might be a bit stupid. You could be right. That does sound accurate, I just thought that was what romantic attraction was... I mean, I'm sure there are some who actually form relationships not mainly for sex, but, hmm, sexual compatibility seems to be huge thing, so it's probably rare... Anyway, just be ready that if someone invites you to spend 'romantic night' with them and they don't know you are asexual, they will most likely have condoms ready for you... 😺 Link to post Share on other sites
•◡• Posted July 15, 2019 Author Share Posted July 15, 2019 19 minutes ago, Marcin said: I mean, I'm sure there are some who actually form relationships not mainly for sex, but, hmm, sexual compatibility seems to be huge thing, so it's probably rare... Anyway, just be ready that if someone invites you to spend 'romantic night' with them and they don't know you are asexual, they will most likely have condoms ready for you... 😺 Oh Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.