sldkifijenslk Posted August 30, 2018 Share Posted August 30, 2018 I feel like there is not as much pressure on me to date and have sex since I'm a woman, but as I've gotten older I definitely feel more and more like I'm the odd one out since I'm 20 and I've never even been on a date before. I still don't really want to be in a romantic relationship at this point in my life, but I don't really know how to explain that without going into all the details of my asexuality every time I get asked about my romantic life. I sometimes think I should go on a date or two just to be able to say that I have. Anyone else have a similar experience? Especially men, since it seems like there is a lot more pressure on them? Link to post Share on other sites
Podsnap Posted August 30, 2018 Share Posted August 30, 2018 Now that I'm in my forties, people have kind of backed off about pestering me about my lack of a romantic life. I dated when I was younger, just to try to fit in and I really do like to get together and hang out with people but dating eventually involves at least some expectation that there is going to be some kind of physical contact and I'm weird and can't even handle kissing. I kissed when I was younger so I could hang on to my *boyfriends* but it just felt like slobber in my mouth. Within the past several years I've tried to get dates on Ace-book and on several asexual Facebook pages but no luck. My online presence is so unappealing that no one even wants to go to lunch with me. A guy called me once but he said he didn't think he'd outlive his cats so I didn't feel to inspired to want to meet him. At this point tho, I think I'd feel MORE weird if I were to suddenly partner. People would be all, like, oh-my-god, can you believe it, she finally got out of the house and found someone. I've tried explaining to people in real life that I don't like sex but they don't believe me or don't understand so I given up attempting to discuss it. On rare occasions, in real life, a guy will ask me out or act interested in me but at this point I'd just feel like I was leading them on if I acted interested back so I'll usually just start avoiding them. Sorry, I know I just wrote a novel. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted August 30, 2018 Share Posted August 30, 2018 Just say you arent interested, you are focused on... career or college or whatever you are working on. They dont need to know any more. Link to post Share on other sites
TeaGee Posted August 30, 2018 Share Posted August 30, 2018 I keep telling myself that I should at least try to date, just so I can walk away from the experience-successful or not-saying that I gave it a whack. I am open to he idea of being in a relationship but also not terribly motivated to seek it out. I am still trying to figure out if I am Aromantic or not. I like the concept of having a strong emotional connection with a partner but I am also introverted and like my own company and me time, so the latter is winning right now. I also have a million things going on at one time that take priority over committing time to a relationship. At 29, most people have left me alone regarding being single for so long but there are a few that have been hinting at my inevitable spinster-hood. Ultimately, if you have a genuine interest in giving dating a try, I'd say go for it and be honest with yourself and potential partners about what you are seeking and what you aren't. If you are not really interested, then I wouldn't worry about it. You do not have to justify dating or not dating to anyone. You don't owe answers to anyone. Link to post Share on other sites
Homer Posted August 30, 2018 Share Posted August 30, 2018 I don't feel any "pressure". At all. "I'm not interested; I'd rather travel" is all people need to know about this. There is nothing to explain. If someone has a hard time wrappring their head around this, it's just tough luck for them. Link to post Share on other sites
Yeast Posted August 30, 2018 Share Posted August 30, 2018 Does "dating" actually exist? What's the difference between dating and simply meeting someone? In that context I dated my coworkers. I dated my students. I dated my dentist. I date my fish every morning when I feed them. Ditto for watering my plants. Maybe there's a sexual connotation involved in this. However I am asexual so there is none. Quid pro quo , dating does not exist. I simply meet people. (I do pollinate my plants sometimes but I don't think this is relevant.) As far as needing to explain my orientation to people, well it's really none of their business. Don't ask. Don't tell. Don't even think about it. What I've learned is that asexuality erases barriers of age, gender and race, at least if one has an open mind. What might be called my "girl" friend is half my age but we treat one another as equals. I find the differences between me and other people interesting. Well, at least if they are positive ones. Over the years I've learned to be more discerning regarding who I choose to be friends with. My friends are now those whose differences are all positive. Link to post Share on other sites
ôÿē èîęēú ïė ēôēįîûôø Posted August 30, 2018 Share Posted August 30, 2018 I have never been on a date. I haven't really gotten any pressure from anyone to do so, nor do I feel such pressure. Link to post Share on other sites
Homer Posted August 30, 2018 Share Posted August 30, 2018 2 hours ago, Yeast said: What's the difference between dating and simply meeting someone? To me it is that "dating" happens with romantic and/or sexual intentions. Link to post Share on other sites
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