AngryDeer Posted July 21, 2018 Share Posted July 21, 2018 Can you feel a romantic attraction to complete stranger? I mean, do you walk on the street, see someone and think "wow this person is so cute, I want to meet her/him/them"? Or can you feel something after 15 minutes of conversation? Or something like that? Link to post Share on other sites
Salmiakki Posted July 21, 2018 Share Posted July 21, 2018 Well... it's not like I have crushes on some random strangers I see outside. But I can have crushes on people who I don't know at all. Usually my crushes don't just happen in the blink of an eye, it takes like a few days. Still it's not impossible for me to develop a crush immediately. Link to post Share on other sites
Just Somebody Posted July 21, 2018 Share Posted July 21, 2018 Yup, frayromantic is the name when you can only have crushes on people you don't kno w, it's under the gray-ro umbrella. Link to post Share on other sites
AngryDeer Posted July 21, 2018 Author Share Posted July 21, 2018 2 hours ago, Salmiakki said: But I can have crushes on people who I don't know at all. Usually my crushes don't just happen in the blink of an eye, it takes like a few days. Still it's not impossible for me to develop a crush immediately Oh, that's quite similar to my experience but also I very often get confused if this is an aesthetic attraction or romantic attraction. Link to post Share on other sites
AngryDeer Posted July 21, 2018 Author Share Posted July 21, 2018 51 minutes ago, Just Somebody said: Yup, frayromantic is the name when you can only have crushes on people you don't kno w, it's under the gray-ro umbrella. Wow, I have not heard about it yet! Thanks for the new information Link to post Share on other sites
Just Somebody Posted July 21, 2018 Share Posted July 21, 2018 34 minutes ago, AngryDeer said: Wow, I have not heard about it yet! Thanks for the new information No problem. Link to post Share on other sites
Someone Else Posted July 22, 2018 Share Posted July 22, 2018 For sexual people, it would be common and normal to think someone is cute and want to meet them, so for asexual people who are romantic, sensual, or aesthetic-appreciative, it should also be very possible. Link to post Share on other sites
Éadweard Posted July 22, 2018 Share Posted July 22, 2018 I don’t see how you can have “romantic” feelings for someone you don’t know. You may find them interesting and even want to know more about them. Why do asexuals feel because they have no sexual attraction they have heightened romantic attraction? Link to post Share on other sites
TheAP Posted July 22, 2018 Share Posted July 22, 2018 I think it's possible - that's where the whole concept of "love at first sight" comes from, although of course in real life you can't tell for sure that they're the person for you. It probably springs from aesthetic attraction, and then you develop a fantasy. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted July 22, 2018 Share Posted July 22, 2018 18 hours ago, ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ said: I don’t see how you can have “romantic” feelings for someone you don’t know. You may find them interesting and even want to know more about them. Why do asexuals feel because they have no sexual attraction they have heightened romantic attraction? Honest truth. When I was 13 a friend of mine mentioned a guy she had talked to online, his name was Tony. All I heard was his name. I didn't see a picture, didn't speak to him, she didn't say anything at all about him other than she talked to someone called Tony. And I fall madly, deeply, passionately in love with him 😕 it's part of my Ficto thing I guess, the less real someone is the more I am able to love them? That love dominated my life for about 4 years and even led me self harm and stuff it was so strong and it was so painful not being able to be with him, I'll be 30 in a month and I still have some of the scars from things that happened to me as a result of my love for him. I got to talk to him online maybe 6 times in all those years and he blocked me quite quickly because I was bonkers (sigh, lol)..but it took many, many years for that love (and the pain I experienced as a result of it) to fade. These days it still takes me like a second to fall in love with someone (almost exclusively fictional people or sometimes people online who are less real to me), HOWEVER I have to have experienced their personality a bit before that love hits now. Before it hits I don't even notice them and they're just part of the background, then BAM, suddenly I notice them and they're the only person in the world to me So yeah anyway I'm just saying, it's definitely possible. People can experience this regardless of their sexual orientation. On 7/22/2018 at 8:05 AM, AngryDeer said: Wow, I have not heard about it yet! Thanks for the new information Freyromantic means you can only love people UNTIL you get to know them, which is a bit different than what's being discussed here. Unless you literally fall out of love with these people the moment you get to know them better? That would be Frey. On 7/22/2018 at 4:37 AM, AngryDeer said: I mean, do you walk on the street, see someone and think "wow this person is so cute, I want to meet her/him/them"? Or can you feel something after 15 minutes of conversation? Or something like that? What you're actually describing in your OP though doesn't even sound like romantic attraction, it sounds like normal curiosity based on an interest in aspects of that person's personality or appearance and almost anyone can experience that, too, regardless of orientation. Romantic attraction is defined by actually experiencing romantic love for that person, feeling actual romantic emotions for them that pull you to them. And yes, it's possible to experience that for a literal total stranger as you can see from my first response in this comment Link to post Share on other sites
AngryDeer Posted July 22, 2018 Author Share Posted July 22, 2018 1 hour ago, FictoVore. said: What you're actually describing in your OP though doesn't even sound like romantic attraction, it sounds like normal curiosity based on an interest in aspects of that person's personality or appearance and almost anyone can experience that, too, regardless of orientation. Romantic attraction is defined by actually experiencing romantic love for that person, feeling actual romantic emotions for them that pull you to them. And yes, it's possible to experience that for a literal total stranger as you can see from my first response in this comment I very often get confused about my feelings. When I see an interesting person on the street I am trying to solve my feelings. I think "what the hell, what's that feeling? Is it romantic, aesthetic, sexual?". Latterly I find out this is not sexual. When I was creating this question I was thinking this is what romantic feels. But know? Aesthetic attraction or like you said: normal curiosity are more convincing I am slowly reaching the truth. Or not Link to post Share on other sites
andreas1033 Posted July 22, 2018 Share Posted July 22, 2018 Sexual people can get feelings straight away. Its why alot of sexual couples, have sex straight away. There can be sexual couples, whom do not say nout to each other, then the first thing, lets go back to your place. Obviously being asexual, thats not for what we know, but it happens alot to sexuals. ie they know straight away they want to have sex with each other. Why do you think lots of people hook up with people on the net just to have sex. They have not met each other, or talked to each other, but they both want to have sex with each other. There is all sorts of attraction, and i think you need to define what you mean at first sight. So i do not think thats romantic feelings, that just lust. If that is what your talking about. For romantic feelings to happen straight away, that would be far more rarer. Thats the sort of thing that would happen on occasion to people throughout there lifes. Just be glad, being asexual, if you are, you do not get such urges, as alot of sexual will. Link to post Share on other sites
AngryDeer Posted July 23, 2018 Author Share Posted July 23, 2018 I would not call it a lust. It's not like I want to kiss or hug or whatever straight away. Start a conversation, get to know better, yes. But this is at most. I get that weird curiosity. Sometimes is about something interesting about their look and sometimes not. Last time when I had this feeling it was not about this person's appearance. I just noticed that she has a book (what is very very rare in my town and I love reading so you know). Link to post Share on other sites
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