AyeeeMack Posted July 13, 2018 Share Posted July 13, 2018 So for a long time I've been going with aro ace because it seemed safest but lately I've been analyzing some things I have felt for people in the past(its always the same pattern). So for example: I will meet a really pretty girl(not limited to but most of the time it's been girls. She will usually be the more cute type rather than sexy or hot(bright, bubbly, kind eyes) and I will feel something. Kind of like a fluttery feeling and a bit of happiness as well as a sense of being drawn to her(want to think about her a lot and admire because she is attractive). I will think about how cute her personality is and want to do something impressive in hopes of her letting me get to know her better. But the thing is, once I get close enough to her to be considered casual friends, it completely dies out and I only see her as a friend. If I can't become her friend for whatever reason, the feelings linger for a longer time and I'll just become more and more nervous around her until it randomly fades. When it comes to celebrities, I tend to be really invested in pretty female ones. I will fawn over how beautiful and talented they are all day, even feel a little fluttery when I'm watching my favorite content. They could do something sexy and I would think that its hot. I could for sure talk about the most attractive eras in their career(looks or energy wise) all day and spend so much time looking at pictures and videos of them. Sometimes I even like to imagine what it would be like to date them or be with them physically (though I feel I would not like that if it somehow actually managed to happen). I'm not sure if I'm making sense but these attractions feel too strong and occur too often to be considered friendly, but not strong enough to be romantic. Is there an in between? Is that what platonic attraction is? Any ideas and input would be most definitely appreciated! Link to post Share on other sites
ôÿē èîęēú ïė ēôēįîûôø Posted July 13, 2018 Share Posted July 13, 2018 42 minutes ago, AyeeeMack said: these attractions feel too strong and occur too often to be considered friendly, but not strong enough to be romantic. This could be a squish. I think I may have experienced a couple of those. When I did, all I wanted to do was get rid of the squish. 46 minutes ago, AyeeeMack said: I will meet a really pretty girl(not limited to but most of the time it's been girls. She will usually be the more cute type rather than sexy or hot(bright, bubbly, kind eyes) and I will feel something. Kind of like a fluttery feeling and a bit of happiness as well as a sense of being drawn to her(want to think about her a lot and admire because she is attractive). I will think about how cute her personality is and want to do something impressive in hopes of her letting me get to know her better. But the thing is, once I get close enough to her to be considered casual friends, it completely dies out and I only see her as a friend. If I can't become her friend for whatever reason, the feelings linger for a longer time and I'll just become more and more nervous around her until it randomly fades. Most of this describes frayromanticism. If you don't think it was romantic, please correct me. Have a good day, The Angel of Eternity Link to post Share on other sites
Just Somebody Posted July 13, 2018 Share Posted July 13, 2018 Well, there's different kinds of attraction, you could search about, I'll talk about romantic, platonic, alterous, sexual , sensual, queerplatonic and aesthetic attraction here... Romantic attraction is when you have a "crush" on someone that calls your attention and you want to have a thing with that person and call that a romantic relationship. Aesthetic attraction is when you find someone beautiful pleasing to your eyes. Platonic attraction is when you wanna have a thing and call it a friendship with someone that caught your attention. Alterous attraction is a middle ground between platonic attraction attractions romantic attraction, it means you feel some sorta of emotional attraction towards someone that caught your attention, that isn't purely romantic or purely platonic, but anyway could end in a relationship called romantic or a friendship, either way , or something else, it's broad. Queerplatonic attraction is a kind of alterous attraction that is specifically desiring a relationship that is "more than friends" but not a romantic relationship kind of thing with a person that caught your attention. Sensual attraction is the desire to touch people that caught your attention in affective ways thats not sexual acts , like hugging or kissing. Sexual attraction is the desire to have people that caught your attention to make you feel an orgasm,and vice-versa .... it's not the same thing to desire sexual acts exactly, being ace doesn't stop you from having and enjoying sex. also , aces can have libido, fetishes, masturbate, etc, they just don't feel attraction as what I described above. Done with this... since you talk about your feelings for girls, and nor considering your gender identity, let's use the prefixes gyne/gyno/fin/woma- to call your attractions. Since you mentioned you call girls beautiful, you're gyne/gyno/fin/woma-aesthethic,at least , using the attraction system above. Also gyne/gyno/woma/fin-platonic at least too. Same , you're fin/gyne/gyno or woma-sensual as you wish you could give these girls physical affection. but I guess you're also gra(e)y and demi-sensual, as being demi is part of the gra(e)y spectrums of orientations , and look like you only feel affectionate to touch girls you have an previous strong admiration towards , that's why demi. Demi is also part of the aliqua umbrella of labels, this prefix means you only feel a kind of attraction under a certain circumstance. Maybe you're demi-aesthetic too, as well as aliqua-aesthethic? Maybe you're also apres-sensual, another gray orientation , for people who need to feel some kind of attraction (from the list above) other than sensual attraction, before feeling that one. You could use queer/pomo- if your gray oriented anyway , as it just means your not part of the norm. Maybe youre also procul- for both of these, as to desire people you can never have like celebrities. Idk whether or not what you feel for these girls is romantic , alterous, queerplatonic or platonic, either way, you can also use the prefixes I listed above for liking girls, gyne/gyno/fin/woma-, doesn't matter which orientation we are talking about. if you have romantic feelings for girls, it's also probable you could be in the gra(e)y-romantic spectrum too... I mean, I already discussed what the prefixes pomo-, procul-, demi- and apres- means and they could be applied in your romantic orientation too. But there's also lith/akoi(ne)-romantics, who feel romantically attracted to people , but once in a relationship they lose interest, or they don't want to act upon their desires. And also quoi/wtf-romantics that doesn't understand or can't see the differences BTW romantic and platonic attractions. And idem-romantics, who also doesn't understand, but they can figure out what kind of relationships they have with people by "hints" like age, interests, behaviors, etc. Queer /pomo-romantic can apply too. being gray,demi , procul, aliqua/kairo, or lith/akoi(ne) also apply to platonic, alterous and queerplatonic attractions , If the case is not romantic attraction . you can use the prefix Novi- too, when the kind of orientation is too hard to describe . Anyway, gee, this is really complicated. .. the majority of people don't bother to label all of their attractions precisely or even bother at all, but you do whatever makes you happy in your self knowledge journey. It's also okay to not want to understand or to not use labels at all, I just go by "free" now. Good lucky. Link to post Share on other sites
AyeeeMack Posted July 13, 2018 Author Share Posted July 13, 2018 8 hours ago, The Angel of Eternity said: This could be a squish. I think I may have experienced a couple of those. When I did, all I wanted to do was get rid of the squish. Most of this describes frayromanticism. If you don't think it was romantic, please correct me. Have a good day, The Angel of Eternity I just did a bit of research of frayromanticism and for the most part it sounds like me! Maybe that's why I can stay attached and not get bored of my favorite celebrities for years because I love the idea of them. Probably would not care for them if they were a normal person I could talk to. That is a really useful term and I will be doing more research, thank you!! 😊 Link to post Share on other sites
AyeeeMack Posted July 13, 2018 Author Share Posted July 13, 2018 8 hours ago, Just Somebody said: Well, there's different kinds of attraction, you could search about, I'll talk about romantic, platonic, alterous, sexual , sensual, queerplatonic and aesthetic attraction here... Romantic attraction is when you have a "crush" on someone that calls your attention and you want to have a thing with that person and call that a romantic relationship. Aesthetic attraction is when you find someone beautiful pleasing to your eyes. Platonic attraction is when you wanna be friends with someone that caught your attention. Alterous attraction is a middle ground between platonic attraction attractions romantic attraction, it means you feel some sorta of emotional attraction towards someone that caught your attention, that isn't purely romantic or purely platonic, but anyway could end in a relationship called romantic or a friendship, either way , or something else, it's broad. Queerplatonic attraction is a kind of alterous attraction that is specifically desiring a relationship that is "more than friends" but not a romantic relationship kind of thing with a person that caught your attention. Sensual attraction is the desire to touch people that caught your attention in affective ways thats not sexual acts , like hugging or kissing. Sexual attraction is the desire to have people that caught your attention to make you feel an orgasm,and vice-versa .... it's not the same thing to desire sexual acts exactly, being ace doesn't stop you from having and enjoying sex. also , aces can have libido, fetishes, masturbate, etc, they just don't feel attraction as what I described above. Done with this... since you talk about your feelings for girls, and nor considering your gender identity, let's use the prefixes gyne/gyno/fin/woma- to call your attractions. Since you mentioned you call girls beautiful, you're gyne/gyno/fin/woma-aesthethic,at least , using the attraction system above. Also gyne/gyno/woma/fin-platonic at least too. Same , you're fin/gyne/gyno or woma-sensual as you wish you could give these girls physical affection. but I guess you're also gra(e)y and demi-sensual, as being demi is part of the gra(e)y spectrums of orientations , and look like you only feel affectionate to touch girls you have an previous strong admiration towards , that's why demi. Demi is also part of the aliqua umbrella of labels, this prefix means you only feel a kind of attraction under a certain circumstance. Maybe you're demi-aesthetic too, as well as aliqua-aesthethic? Maybe you're also apres-sensual, another gray orientation , for people who need to feel some kind of attraction (from the list above) other than sensual attraction, before feeling that one. You could use queer/pomo- if your gray oriented anyway , as it just means your not part of the norm. Maybe youre also procul- for both of these, as to desire people you can never have like celebrities. Idk whether or not what you feel for these girls is romantic , alterous, queerplatonic or platonic, either way, you can also use the prefixes I listed above for liking girls, gyne/gyno/fin/woma-, doesn't matter which orientation we are talking about. if you have romantic feelings for girls, it's also probable you could be in the gra(e)y-romantic spectrum too... I mean, I already discussed what the prefixes pomo-, procul-, demi- and apres- means and they could be applied in your romantic orientation too. But there's also lith/akoi(ne)-romantics, who feel romantically attracted to people , but once in a relationship they lose interest, or they don't want to act upon their desires. And also quoi/wtf-romantics that doesn't understand or can't see the differences BTW romantic and platonic attractions. And idem-romantics, who also doesn't understand, but they can figure out what kind of relationships they have with people by "hints" like age, interests, behaviors, etc. Queer /pomo-romantic can apply too. being gray,demi , procul, aliqua/kairo, or lith/akoi(ne) also apply to platonic, alterous and queerplatonic attractions , If the case is not romantic attraction . you can use the prefix Novi- too, when the kind of orientation is too hard to describe . Anyway, gee, this is really complicated. .. the majority of people don't bother to label all of their attractions precisely or even bother at all, but you do whatever makes you happy in your self knowledge journey. It's also okay to not want to understand or to not use labels at all, I just go by "free" now. Good lucky. thank you for this really informational answer! I'm thinking maybe alterous,frayromantic, grey might be some of the more relatable terms but I'm going through all of these (aside from sexual I'm pretty sure I'm ace) to research and figure out more. Do you think these attractions/attachments would count as really mild forms of being sapphic/gay(I'm a girl)? Would not have a problem with that. Not sure of relevant but i feel much morr comfortable talking to my sapphic friends about the girls I feel attracted to and it feels kind of similar in a way but of course I can't feel all the things they feel Link to post Share on other sites
TheAP Posted July 13, 2018 Share Posted July 13, 2018 Moved from Questions about Asexuality to Romantic and Aromantic Orientations. TheAP Questions about Asexuality co-mod Link to post Share on other sites
Just Somebody Posted July 13, 2018 Share Posted July 13, 2018 2 hours ago, AyeeeMack said: thank you for this really informational answer! I'm thinking maybe alterous,frayromantic, grey might be some of the more relatable terms but I'm going through all of these (aside from sexual I'm pretty sure I'm ace) to research and figure out more. Do you think these attractions/attachments would count as really mild forms of being sapphic/gay(I'm a girl)? Would not have a problem with that. Not sure of relevant but i feel much morr comfortable talking to my sapphic friends about the girls I feel attracted to and it feels kind of similar in a way but of course I can't feel all the things they feel Well, taking in consideration you like girls aesthetically, sensually and also alterously, I guess having alterous attraction for girls as a girl could count as sapphic, it's also a broad for liking women very affectionated. Yeah, pretty sure you can combine how many prefixes you want, but it's very likely you're at least aliqua-, and that being said, also gray-, and by the way also queer/pomo-alterous. You can use homo/gay/lesbian-alterous too. No problem anyway. Link to post Share on other sites
AyeeeMack Posted July 13, 2018 Author Share Posted July 13, 2018 5 hours ago, Just Somebody said: Well, taking in consideration you like girls aesthetically, sensually and also alterously, I guess having alterous attraction for girls as a girl could count as sapphic, it's also a broad for liking women very affectionated. Yeah, pretty sure you can combine how many prefixes you want, but it's very likely you're at least aliqua-, and that being said, also gray-, and by the way also queer/pomo-alterous. You can use homo/gay/lesbian-alterous too. No problem anyway. Again thank you! This is really appreciated. I feel more secure now knowing that there are terms for my complicated feelings and will be looking more into everything Link to post Share on other sites
Just Somebody Posted July 13, 2018 Share Posted July 13, 2018 1 hour ago, AyeeeMack said: Again thank you! This is really appreciated. I feel more secure now knowing that there are terms for my complicated feelings and will be looking more into everything Forgot about another attraction called amouralterous, it's the same as alterous, but not wanting necessarily to act upon the emotional attraction and form a bond. No problem. Link to post Share on other sites
Janus the Fox Posted July 14, 2018 Share Posted July 14, 2018 Just to a a little more illustration if still unsure :) Spoiler Link to post Share on other sites
AyeeeMack Posted July 14, 2018 Author Share Posted July 14, 2018 3 hours ago, Janus DarkFox said: Just to a a little more illustration if still unsure Hide contents This is a really cute illustration! Its kinda like its in order from least likely to most likely for me tbh. Thank you! 😊 Link to post Share on other sites
Dawning Posted July 14, 2018 Share Posted July 14, 2018 On July 12, 2018 at 10:01 PM, Just Somebody said: ... the aliqua umbrella of labels... Is this a new one? A Google search didn't turn anything up. Link to post Share on other sites
Just Somebody Posted July 14, 2018 Share Posted July 14, 2018 8 hours ago, Dawning said: Is this a new one? A Google search didn't turn anything up. Yeah, if you consider aliqua/kairo- as prefixes for feeling attraction under certain specific circumstances or for certain specific people, you can place demi-, fray-, amicus-, apres-, sapio/noeti-, etc under it. you can consider a bunch of labels subtypes of aliqua/kairo. Link to post Share on other sites
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