Aro, Gray or demi or just no?

[Infernales]

Okay so. 

 

I feel like I may be aro or at least demi, but! I've dated a guy, just one so far, and that lasted nearly a year and six months. I loved him. And I think I subconsciously knew I was ace even then because I just lacked sexual attraction. Sensual maybe, but no tongue kissing, (I just found it sloppy and slobbery). 

 

And I enjoy hugs, love hugs, love kissing people's cheeks as greeting and affection, love rubbing cheeks because it's a comfort. I express my affection physically mostly.

 

I love my friends. I know I love my friends, it's overwhelming. But I can't see anything with them, non of that "marry my best friend" or anything of that variety. I like having friends. I like being the one they can talk to, or just enjoy the company of. I like knowing them.

 

But I can't find anything romantic now. I love romance, books, music, movies sometimes. I'm a secondhand romantic, I love watching people love their work.

I want to want a romantic relationship. Does anyone else feel the same? Is it normal?

Does this make me aro? Or?

I think I am, but I don't know how aromantics feel. Experience anyone?

And if I am, I'm not sure I can face the fact that I can't want a romantic relationship. I wish I could want it, but I can't seem to.

 

Is that what aro is?

[QuirkyGeek]

I am demi, and wish I wanted a romantic relationship more. I don't think you're necessarily aro though. Kind of like Ann asexual can still want sex, but not with any particular person. I'm no expert with romance mind you since I myself have never been in a romantic relationship.

[Infernales]

On 6/10/2017 at 10:30 AM, QuirkyGeek said:

I am demi, and wish I wanted a romantic relationship more. I don't think you're necessarily aro though. Kind of like Ann asexual can still want sex, but not with any particular person. I'm no expert with romance mind you since I myself have never been in a romantic relationship.

Haha thanks. I don't think I'm much in the romance advice department either considering. 

 

To elaborate more, I want the comfort and you know love and intimacy of a relationship, like married style, but don't want a lover? I don't think anyone will get this, but yeah. I want a partner (???) but not a lover???? Attached but not exactly exclusive but not open either? Idk. 

 

Yeah ace as well. I might be one of those aces who enjoy sex but doesn't want it as like a priority or anything.

[NerdIsStrongWithThisOne]

On 7/3/2017 at 5:27 AM, Infernales said:

Haha thanks. I don't think I'm much in the romance advice department either considering. 

 

To elaborate more, I want the comfort and you know love and intimacy of a relationship, like married style, but don't want a lover? I don't think anyone will get this, but yeah. I want a partner (???) but not a lover???? Attached but not exactly exclusive but not open either? Idk. 

 

Yeah ace as well. I might be one of those aces who enjoy sex but doesn't want it as like a priority or anything.

I think I get what you're talking about here, but I'm not really sure how to explain it. Just bear with me for a minute? You're thinking of someone who's your person, you know you would do anything for each other, unconditional love/acceptance, but without any sexual side. It's not just a regular friendship either - there's the same level of commitment typically associated with a romantic relationship. If that sounds about right, I think you're talking about a queerplatonic relationship. 

 

If you're not talking about queerplatonics feel free to disregard this bit, I just thought having a real world example might help  (For reference, I'm ace and demiromantic.) I have a qpr, and this lovely human is my person. We've talked about and made retirement plans, what our house would look like if it ever works to live together, we're each others family. Their secrets are my secrets, and vice versa. If something happens, you can bet they're the first person to know. I definitely love her, and she loves me, but there's not a single hint of romance/romantic love. I can go on for ages about it, but I think that gets the gist of it?