Just need to vent

[SlytherClaw23]

Trigger warning - gonna bitch about sex for a moment.

 

My sex drive has been off the charts the last couple of weeks. I've told my partner, and asked him for "naughty snuggle time" to no avail. We haven't had sex this year!

 

We're just finished moving to his new townhouse, so we've both been exhausted and in pain (moving 3,000+ books down 3 flights of stairs sucks) for the past month.

I'm trying to be understanding, but I'm getting to my breaking point.

 

Although there is a part of me that wishes he'd just take-one-for-the-team, I really want him to throw me down and do bad things to me. As our sex life has been vanilla to this point (he doesn't do foreplay, I'm always on top), I know that it isn't going to happen. 

 

I miss being gone down on and being on the receiving end of foreplay. I miss being sexually submissive. I miss feelings attractive.

 

I'm about ready to just stop asking, because being turned down so often is a real hit to my self-esteem. I don't know how to explain how this hurts me in a way that he'll understand; how can he? When it comes to sex, it's like I'm trying to explain how a computer works to a caveman! 

 

My petty, passive aggressive "revenge" is that I've been raiding his battery supplies to power my vibrator. If he's not gonna put out, he's damn well gonna buy my batteries. I wonder how long it will take him to notice ...

 

Thanks for letting me vent. I needed a safe space to do that.

[frednsa]

try a half-century of that shit.  no matter how much you care for him or how "nice" he is in ALL other matters................RUN, RUN, RUN ........you have a life ahead of you.  don't fuck it up by swimming upstream - there's a dam up ahead !  sorry - my substitute for a rant.  i'd love to have even one night with a woman who wants to be pleasured.  it's been soooooooo long...........could (and has) make a grown man cry

[RAZS]

Been three years since my request for some physical intimacy has been met with a yes.  Ive stopped asking.  And she wont come anywhere near me.  Lets just say my levels of frustration have reached epic proportions.  I feel your pain

[SlytherClaw23]

Thanks for your replies and your understanding. I just wish he'd understand too :/ 

 

Leaving is not an option for me - he's the best partner I've ever had, except for his lack of sex drive of course. 

 

I'm 39. I've sown my wild oats. I'm not willing to lose my best friend over sex. 

[MrDane]

...but you touch a very typical subject, when it comes to being in a mixed relationship, @SlytherClaw23!

on the bottom line, it can still be a darn good relationship with your soulmate and best friend. Which is good. ...but it is still not your lover. In danish there is a word meaning a mix between lover, boy/girlfriend and dearest. I imagine that the best divorces work out like that: "oh yes, I still love him tremendously and he is such a good guy and a great father. He is the best. Yes, I miss him, but not the sex" I feel a bit like living in a perfect divorces and it breaks me up, that she cant see it. She cant, because to her, sex is just not that much and often 'meh!?' 

We have sex because she loves me, but not because she wants to or because she needs to or because she finds me hot or because she wants to share that special moment or because im good in bed or because she likes sex. 

 

[SlytherClaw23]

5 hours ago, MrDane said:

...but you touch a very typical subject, when it comes to being in a mixed relationship, @SlytherClaw23

 

5 hours ago, MrDane said:

We have sex because she loves me, but not because she wants to or because she needs to or because she finds me hot or because she wants to share that special moment or because im good in bed or because she likes sex. 

 

"that special moment" - that's the bitch of the whole situation to me. He's never experienced the emotional bonding aspect of it

 

Thanks for sharing. I'm sorry you've experienced this, but I'm kinda glad to know I'm not alone.