Greenstar55 Posted March 14, 2017 Share Posted March 14, 2017 i am ugly, i grew up igly and was constyanly told that i was ugly by peers at school, i learnt simply to block it out, these people were not my friends so why the hell should i care what they think of me. as ive grown up the few people who know im asexual have even said once that just beause im not pretty doesnt mean i cant have a relationship- i was sort of like 1. FUCK YOU 2. thats not what it is. Link to post Share on other sites
Ravaillac Posted March 15, 2017 Share Posted March 15, 2017 Meh, so it goes. Link to post Share on other sites
Sisky Posted March 23, 2017 Share Posted March 23, 2017 I'd wonder why this person goes out of their way to tell me (and I might ask them), but it wouldn't bother me. Link to post Share on other sites
co2koko Posted March 27, 2017 Share Posted March 27, 2017 Attractiveness is really relative, as I have first hand experience being a half Caucasian growing up in a mostly Asian family. When I'm with family in Taiwan, my parents and relatives would mention that I am unattractive due to having a larger bust which is perceived as being fat. On the other hand, I'd be complimented and viewed as attractive in Canada and my fat is seen as curves. I have been struggling between the two opposite views of my physical appearance in terms of the cultural definition of beauty ever since. I dread my yearly trip back to Taiwan every time because of this in addition to their questions about why I'm still single. Personally, I would hope to be attractive through personality/wit/interests instead of physical appearance. Probably why I prefer socializing online as a pumpkin. Link to post Share on other sites
探偵さん Posted June 28, 2017 Share Posted June 28, 2017 If someone were to say I was unattractive ... I'd actually be happy and laugh lol it'd be funny and new for a change. Link to post Share on other sites
doggalogga Posted June 28, 2017 Share Posted June 28, 2017 If somebody finds me ugly, that's just fine. That's their opinion. They're entitled to it. Since it'd be somebody who I don't care about, I just dispense the comment and move on. I prefer not to gather anybody's attention, unless I know they're also asexual. I was hurt too badly by a sexual partner's demands and expectations. I just want to avoid that shit and be happy. The person that finds me attractive and likes my personality deserves my time and affection. Link to post Share on other sites
Lemonsky Posted June 28, 2017 Share Posted June 28, 2017 Being unattractive is nothing new to me as I've been portrayed as the ugly one for years. I hate getting comments about how I look when it's not the main focus during a conversation because I already know I look horrid and it's disheartening to constantly get reminders about it. As much as I dislike to admit it, being called unattractive still stings even if I know it so well myself since it always re-destroys the little confidence I've managed to gather over time. Serves me right for trying to feel better about something that shouldn't be felt good about to begin with. I just wish people wouldn't pay so much attention to how I look and instead see that I'm actually kind of nice and enjoy praising others. At least I haven't been sexualized which is neat since sexualizing is also something I hate. It'd feel nasty to be seen as a sexual being by someone. This post is so full of salt that someone could as well come along and take some for good use. Link to post Share on other sites
mindlife Posted June 28, 2017 Share Posted June 28, 2017 When I was young I was considered unattractive. It was hurtful and bizarre, because my vision was so distorted and bad that I couldn't really judge for myself. Now I'm about 55 and invisible, really, in an attraction sense. Yes, to be attractive would be wonderful. But it just isn't to be. So I have allowed the perception of others to reinforce the avoidant behavior that is sometimes associated with this orientation. Link to post Share on other sites
J. van Deijck Posted June 28, 2017 Share Posted June 28, 2017 I have always been an ugly child, then a slightly-less-ugly teenager. then I have become an adult and now I just can't process it how many people find me aesthetically attractive. it's just a big shock, the teenager me would have never expected it in his life. I don't consider myself ugly, but I would rather appreciate my face in someone else. if that makes sense. Link to post Share on other sites
Kathleenah Posted June 28, 2017 Share Posted June 28, 2017 I am not attractive in the slightest so it doesn't really bother me if someone said it to me! Link to post Share on other sites
Silk Bones Posted June 28, 2017 Share Posted June 28, 2017 Well, I'd feel all of the above. Regardless, these things tend to make me feel really uncomfortable with myself, unless it was by a select few, but in real life, I've always been told that I look "so pretty/so beautiful," but I never adapted with the compliments. I have been constantly stared at by both strangers and friends alike, and even have witnessed both friends and strangers admiring parts of my face, and telling me while in conversation... However, I've also experienced the other side of it all, and it hurts, to say the least. This usually happens online, but when I show potential friends how I look, they no longer speak with me, and never tell me why. They'll say that I look pretty, or cute, but then the next day, they're gone. They leave when I come online, and just do the usual ghosting thing, which usually leaves me to never know what went wrong. I start questioning to myself, if there is anything wrong with me, or if people who do compliment me, just say it out of sympathy. I don't have a personal opinion about myself like I used to when I was younger, and that opinion was critically harsh, but so many insecure thoughts run in my mind when it comes to people telling me that they wonder about how I look. That's usually why I try to avoid posting pictures of myself online, or even on positivity threads. Being on different social types of websites like AVEN, and other places like virtual worlds are where mostly all of my friends are, so if hiding my face from them means keeping my friends longer, so be it. Link to post Share on other sites
J. van Deijck Posted June 28, 2017 Share Posted June 28, 2017 this is just so weird for me because from what I remember, both you @Peinture Paix and @Lemonsky are so good-looking. Link to post Share on other sites
Silk Bones Posted June 28, 2017 Share Posted June 28, 2017 3 minutes ago, alpha decay said: this is just so weird for me because from what I remember, both you @Peinture Paix and @Lemonsky are so good-looking. Thank you Nero, I appreciate that. ^-^ You are too! So I don't understand why you feel unattractive either, but you're the polar opposite of that! Perhaps it's just how people are with personal taste though, even on a friend-level. Link to post Share on other sites
darkstreamers252 Posted June 28, 2017 Share Posted June 28, 2017 I'm body dysmorphic and have various other problems with how I look, I'm actually surprised when I am told (not very often though) that I'm "pretty" or "look nice" or a compliment on my personal appearance. I'm not sure how anyone can possibly think I'm "pretty" and I'm surprised that people like my physical appearance. I can't stand myself at all. So yeah... Link to post Share on other sites
J. van Deijck Posted June 28, 2017 Share Posted June 28, 2017 1 minute ago, Elefsis said: I'm body dysmorphic and have various other problems with how I look, I'm actually surprised when I am told (not very often though) that I'm "pretty" or "look nice" or a compliment on my personal appearance. I'm not sure how anyone can possibly think I'm "pretty" and I'm surprised that people like my physical appearance. I can't stand myself at all. So yeah... but I was actually surprised to see you because you're really pretty 48 minutes ago, Peinture Paix said: Thank you Nero, I appreciate that. ^-^ You are too! So I don't understand why you feel unattractive either, but you're the polar opposite of that! Perhaps it's just how people are with personal taste though, even on a friend-level. may it be, people have different tastes after all But it doesn't justify such behaviour! aw and thank you, too I don't feel particularly attractive because of MFS, I think. Link to post Share on other sites
Silk Bones Posted June 28, 2017 Share Posted June 28, 2017 4 minutes ago, alpha decay said: but I was actually surprised to see you because you're really pretty may it be, people have different tastes after all But it doesn't justify such behaviour! aw and thank you, too I don't feel particularly attractive because of MFS, I think. Well even if it is because of MFS, your physical appearance shines just as bright as what lies within. Don't let anything stop you from showing your true beauty c: Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Deus Ex Infinity Posted June 28, 2017 Share Posted June 28, 2017 I'm certainly not that "pretty" either but than again..beauty is always in the eye of the beholder. Link to post Share on other sites
Lemonsky Posted June 28, 2017 Share Posted June 28, 2017 1 hour ago, alpha decay said: this is just so weird for me because from what I remember, both you @Peinture Paix and @Lemonsky are so good-looking. That's so kind to say, thank you! I'm sorry for not being so sure what to answer though but I definitely appreciate the kindness! Link to post Share on other sites
RedSheep2 Posted June 28, 2017 Author Share Posted June 28, 2017 Glad to see this thread is still going strong I have an average face with an equally average-looking body (short, skinny, no hips, breasts or butt). In the rare instance where people compliment my appearance, I just say thank you but I don't put too much weight into it. I'd much rather be complimented on my musical taste, intelligence, kindness, sense of humor, work ethic, etc than my physical appearance. I had an intense crush on a co-worker so for a few weeks I wore my contacts instead of glasses w/ more flattering clothes. However, I found out he likes some other girl at work so I felt foolish LOL. Now it's back to being a Plain Jane, not that contacts and slightly different clothes transformed me into a bombshell anyway. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted June 28, 2017 Share Posted June 28, 2017 I'm not that ugly, but don't look very appealing, either. Well in the end I don't really care. Link to post Share on other sites
Rhaenys Posted June 29, 2017 Share Posted June 29, 2017 I'm naturally skinny. I've been shamed by "bigger" insecure women in real and this "bones are for dogs" "thin women aren't real women" attitude that is rampant in the "body positivity" movement and media has made me feel unattractive. Link to post Share on other sites
LemonTheDestroyer Posted June 29, 2017 Share Posted June 29, 2017 On 2/21/2017 at 11:05 PM, Lockylocks said: I've grown up as the ugly one (believing it myself and being told by others), so I kind of find it insulting when some people find me attractive. As if they're trying to be funny. This is how I am. I don't like when people try to say anything positive about my looks because everything I've been told has said I'm just "eh". Link to post Share on other sites
Janus the Fox Posted June 29, 2017 Share Posted June 29, 2017 One persons unattractive, will be another persons attractive, even with my own relationships, I don't focus on a persons looks, only if other things in what makes a person attractive to me falls into place. When there's a spiritual connection, personalities, circumstances and intellect or emotional understanding all within my limited social groups and so on. There's much more to beauty than external looks, often its subjectively culturally selective in what makes a person attractive, there's often a colourful history lesson in that regard. I'd just move on, there's others that would consider my time for being just me and all my glory, warts and my disadvantages so to speak. One's that really do seriously understand and adjust to me within reasonable compromise, then they are to me considerably more attractive to me romantically than a persons looks. Link to post Share on other sites
AlexandraLouise Posted June 30, 2017 Share Posted June 30, 2017 A friend of mine joked about me being super ugly... I got that it was a joke but it wasn't really a good time to be jokimg about me not being adequate to look at (I was going through some stuff at the time and it was exam season and ugh) so I havent properly spoken to him since just after Christmas now... and we live in the same building... if I see him Im polite but we don't hang out anymore... I think it hurt more because I have serious self confidence issues and I hate my face... family and my boyfriend say I'm "beautiful" but I'm 90% sure that's a lie since I think "beautiful" is a stretch even if I'm more attractive than I think (plus they HAVE to say I'm pretty to some extent... we're a close family)... there's a scale of attraction - "beautiful" is one of the highest (with "stunning") and "pretty" is nearer the bottom (like a subtle attractiveness)... occassionally I might think I'm pretty... but most of the time I don't... but that doesn't mean I want people to confirm it... Link to post Share on other sites
AlexandraLouise Posted June 30, 2017 Share Posted June 30, 2017 On 2017-6-29 at 1:34 AM, Saesha said: I'm naturally skinny. I've been shamed by "bigger" insecure women in real and this "bones are for dogs" "thin women aren't real women" attitude that is rampant in the "body positivity" movement and media has made me feel unattractive. Oh my god... story of my freaking life I hate it... and if you complain and say they need to stop they are all "we're just doing what you skinny girls do to us.. don't like it now do you... we have to bring you skinny girls down to be equal".... like no, I never shame someone on their appearance so back off... you'd have thought that if they have had experience being shamed for their body and they didnt like it then they wouldnt do it to anyone else..... Link to post Share on other sites
globetrotter85 Posted June 30, 2017 Share Posted June 30, 2017 Well I'm no looker, but it's not really something that bothers me as I'm not particularly into the whole appearance thing. I barely look in the mirror, and when I do it's just kind of out of interest. Attracting people isn't exactly high on my agenda I have a really big nose (family inheritance!) and occasionally get rude comments - normally from drunk people - but once I got through those awkward teenage years where you care so much what people think of you, those comments stopped bothering me. Now I just think of body parts as things with functions and if mine fulfils its function then I'm happy, ie. noses are for breathing and smelling and mine does both of those so what does it matter if it's big or small? I was looking at my sister's wedding photos recently and thinking how funny it was to see myself with a hairdo and wearing makeup and a pretty dress. The whole day people were telling me how different I looked and how nice it was to see me "making an effort" and all I wanted was to get back into my riding pants and feel like myself again! Link to post Share on other sites
Kathleenah Posted June 30, 2017 Share Posted June 30, 2017 On 29/06/2017 at 1:34 AM, Saesha said: I'm naturally skinny. I've been shamed by "bigger" insecure women in real and this "bones are for dogs" "thin women aren't real women" attitude that is rampant in the "body positivity" movement and media has made me feel unattractive. That's sad I'm large and would so love to be thin, envious of people who are!) but I would never ever body shame anybody. That's sad Link to post Share on other sites
Rhyme Posted June 30, 2017 Share Posted June 30, 2017 I think I'm ugly and assume other people think so as well. I once almost said no to a great opportunity because I figured I wouldn't be a good public face for the organisation. It doesn't impact me all that much anymore, I just work twice as hard to prove that the way I look has nothing to do with my potential. Link to post Share on other sites
rtlloyd98 Posted June 30, 2017 Share Posted June 30, 2017 In my 19 years of life I can confidently say I've never met anybody who is "ugly". I don't get how one would come to such a conclusion. So I'd be surprised if somebody would call me ugly and would ask for specifics. Then I'd see if they are as shallow as they have presented themselves. Link to post Share on other sites
AlexandraLouise Posted June 30, 2017 Share Posted June 30, 2017 33 minutes ago, rtlloyd98 said: I've never met anybody who is "ugly". I don't get how one would come to such a conclusion. I dunno... I once was unfortunate enough to know someone with a serious case of the Twits... her ugly thoughts MUST have been the reason she always looked so foul (scowlly and resembled that of a stereotypical halloween witch)... I tried to befriend her but it slowly started destroying me (she was just so negative all the time, was a bit of a bitch to her friends and came out with some really foul things)... I don't normally attribute the word 'ugly' to anyone but I don't think there was any other word for that poor girl (although I would never say it to her or anyone else... other than now :P)... but definitely attitude played a huge role in that... Link to post Share on other sites
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