What exactly does it mean to be Trans? (if thats the right questions)

[LearningAboutMe]

So I know the basics of transsexuality is to be born with the wrong sex organs to follow the gender you feel you are in your heart, soul, brain, etc., but are there different levels of transsexuality? I mean, I don't experience body dysphoria to the max, like where I want to cut my boobs off the first chance I get (mildly annoying but I'll live), but something is there. I mean, whenever I have to go to the 'John,' I always think of taking my penis, but then I'm like; "oh yea, no penis down there." But I'm not sure if that's transexual thoughts or simple 'a penis would be nicer than a vagina' if that makes sense. I mean, I know, either way, I'd still be AroAce, but I always wish I had one, and sometimes wish I could go to the men's room, etc., etc.. (I hope I'm not insulting anyone with my thoughts). And I know there is being a demiboy, but I wonder if it really falls under that, you know? Like, are their feelings or wants just as strong as mine? (or maybe you don't know, and I'm just asking for myself).

Your thoughts if you please.

[kaysir]

Yes, there are different levels, so to speak.

Some transboys care about their body parts even less than you do while some only started identifying as trans once their dysphoria basically ruined their lives. There are binary trans people who couldn't be happy without medically transitioning, but there are also those who like their bodies as they are. There are demi and nonbinary people who transition or don't transition as well. There are also trans people who don't experience genital dysphoria, though many, perhaps most, do.

Gender is just such a vague concept that any one person must come up with their own definition. If they fit their own image of a particular gender that was not designated to them at birth, then they generally identify as transgender. What does being a girl mean to you? What about being a boy? Anything else? Would it make you happy to call yourself one gender over another? If everyone around you would switch the pronouns and/or the name they call you if you asked, would you have them do it? How often do you wish your body or life would be different, and what are the differences you wish for?

There are tons of questions you might ask yourself if you're wondering what your gender is. One thing that I've seen people say is that if you question your gender on a regular basis and/or for an extended period of time, you may very well not be cis.

[butterflydreams]

I find it helps to worry less about the label itself, and more about what you need to do in order to feel comfortable. Once you do that, the label will just sort of come...if you even feel the need for it at all at that point.

And dysphoria isn't some uniform thing. It varies from person to person and situation to situation. Coping mechanisms are a very natural response to distress and discomfort. So natural in fact, you might not realize you're doing them. These coping mechanisms can make it seem like "oh, things aren't that bad" or "I'm not that bothered" which is exactly the point. But they do come at a cost. That cost varies from person to person. For me, the cost was not having any chance at a healthy, full life. Any kind of romantic/sexual relationship would've been completely impossible, but not for lack of desire. Simply because those things would've required me to be seen as very much a man, which I couldn't allow.

Another example of coping is a kind of "checking out" of things. Over time I became very dissociated from myself. It was gradual enough that I didn't notice at first. It's very weird, because realistically, I knew that the person in the mirror was me, but something about it wasn't right. It's not just about perceived flaws either. Obviously a lot of people don't like what they see in the mirror. Even now, I think, "I wish my hair was doing this" or, "I wish my nose was different" but who I see in the mirror is a lot less jarring. It's a feminine face and feminine body. Heck, I used to keep mirrors covered unless I absolutely needed them for contacts or shaving. Seeing yourself, and knowing it is you, but feeling fundamentally sick about it is quintessential dysphoria in my mind. I wouldn't wish those feelings on anyone.

It can also change over time. When I was very, very little (like 4-7) I had this subconscious understanding that everything about me was wrong. I couldn't vocalize it because I was too young to know how, but it was there. Looking back on it now, the feelings make complete sense. Where they were focused makes complete sense. It was the best a 5 year old kid could do.

Ultimately, your story and feelings will be unique to you, and you'll need to decipher them. Heck, you could have all of my experiences, but not really feel like you're trans. It really depends on what things mean to you. You might even conclude that you are trans, but don't want to transition, for any number of reasons. Perfectly valid as well. There are no easy answers unfortunately, only a box that keeps unfolding. The best thing you can do is keep unfolding it. That takes courage, but I believe it's very rewarding, and worth it.

[Calligraphette_Coe]

So I know the basics of transsexuality is to be born with the wrong sex organs to follow the gender you feel you are in your heart, soul, brain, etc., but are there different levels of transsexuality?

So few things in this life are 'just this' or 'just that'. And as far as transness goes, there's a lot of good science that says it begins before you were born, a confluence of genetics and the hormone 'bath' you received in the womb.

As far as degrees of it, who can really say by mere observation. And who can say that 'nurture' would have compensated for 'nature'? We all know there are pressures put upon us by the largely cis world to be exactly binary like they are, but even *they* are not 'just this' or 'just that' because of differing sexual orientations that have nada to do with transness. Too, I was born with a congenital 'error'-- a circulatory anomaly in the middle of my brain which nearly killed me. It was in a bad place but for some unknown reason, wasn't as given to acting up early in my life and not as violently as in the people who don't survive even one episode (where I've survived three).

Maybe it's like comparing simple arithmetic to calculus-- they may have summation common to both, but that's where the common ground and simplicity ends.