butterflydreams Posted October 22, 2015 Share Posted October 22, 2015 The following might seem obvious to some (many?), but those for whom it isn't (I only just realized it a few days ago), here you go... Being trans and having every possible doubt, worry, hesitation, fear, concern, or question about it are NOT mutually exclusive. You are trans AND you have this worry, that doubt, these fears and questions. If you're trans, the outcome or result of all those worries, doubts, fears and hesitations has virtually no effect on you being trans. All these worries, doubts, fears and hesitations? They may go away, but they may not. Of course it's important to acknowledge them, but not let them control you. They may always be with you, but that doesn't mean you have to put being your true self on hold hoping for them to resolve. You can let yourself exist as both your true self, and as a person who has all these doubts, fears and hesitations. It's ok. The world won't end. No human sacrifices. Dogs and cats won't start living together. No mass hysteria. You are trans, and you have those other feelings as well. It's ok. You are ok. :) Link to post Share on other sites
Chardog Posted October 22, 2015 Share Posted October 22, 2015 And you are wonderful Hadley!! *Hugs* Link to post Share on other sites
Autumn Sunrise Posted October 22, 2015 Share Posted October 22, 2015 Hadley, you are awesome, and you deserve to be a happy, fulfilled, successful woman. What more can I say? *hugs* Link to post Share on other sites
Wayfarer Posted October 22, 2015 Share Posted October 22, 2015 Thank you for sharing, reading that was a reminder to me of exactly that fact :) *hugs* Link to post Share on other sites
VindicatorPhoenix Posted October 22, 2015 Share Posted October 22, 2015 Thanks so much, Hadley! I've been going through a lot of doubts, worries, and anxiety and this is exactly what I needed to hear! :) Sometimes I get scared and feel that I'm "not trans enough" since I'm non-binary. Occasionally I feel like I have to pass as fully transfeminine in order to convince people that my gender identity is no joke. But you know what, I know exactly who I am and I'm not going to give into anybody who tries to call me a man! Link to post Share on other sites
Calligraphette_Coe Posted October 22, 2015 Share Posted October 22, 2015 Well, if you make the transition, you get to live happily ever after. I died in the back of an ambulance. I had to learn to walk again. I know what HRT would do to me, but you can believe that almost every night I get the scales of risk and reward out and and drive myself crazy wondering if living halfway between female and male like this is living at all. But then I know what it's like to live on *real* life support. So there are no happy endings for a Kinsey Six transsexual like me who is stuck. Just bad endings from which to pick. But this is your dilemma, not mine. Just look at me and wonder: "If I don't do it, will I wind up like that? With no happy endings?" It doesn't have to be like that for you. But it won't be easy. But it also won't go on forever and ever and ever without relief or peace. You'll know what to do. Link to post Share on other sites
butterflydreams Posted October 22, 2015 Author Share Posted October 22, 2015 Thanks, everyone. I wanted to share because sometimes we don't hear the "obvious" things that we need to hear the most. You know, seeing the forest for the trees and all that. But this is your dilemma, not mine. Just look at me and wonder: "If I don't do it, will I wind up like that? With no happy endings?" I doesn't have to be like that for you. But it won't be easy. But it also won't go on forever and ever and ever without relief or peace. After my accident, the fact that things can all end so easily became very real for me. It strengthened my resolve. I'm one of the most cautious, methodical people you'll ever meet. Sometimes though, you have to make some kind of decision, even if you don't have all the information or assurances you want. I think making your own peace with whatever you have nagging you is something we all have to do somehow. The worries and doubts ones seem to be really big among trans people. God knows they're big for me. I just want people to know that two things can happen at the same time. Being your true self has no prerequisites. Link to post Share on other sites
Heart Posted October 23, 2015 Share Posted October 23, 2015 *moar hugs for Hadley* And for Caligraphette, I have a supper squishy moment for you. I hope you don't mind. I really value you as a person. Everything about you, including your near death experience and unique transition story. I think you're amazing, just the way you are. And I wish I could hang out with you in real life and convey all my respect for you in person. You're amazing, don't you ever forget that, and I am so happy and proud that you have found a space and community in AVEN. I love having you around the Gender forum. You too Hads, and all the regulars. Oops, I think I overdosed this morning on my corny pills ;) Link to post Share on other sites
Calligraphette_Coe Posted October 23, 2015 Share Posted October 23, 2015 *moar hugs for Hadley* And for Caligraphette, I have a supper squishy moment for you. I hope you don't mind. I really value you as a person. Everything about you, including your near death experience and unique transition story. I think you're amazing, just the way you are. And I wish I could hang out with you in real life and convey all my respect for you in person. You're amazing, don't you ever forget that, and I am so happy and proud that you have found a space and community in AVEN. I love having you around the Gender forum. You too Hads, and all the regulars. Oops, I think I overdosed this morning on my corny pills ;) Gosh, Heart, reading this in the bookstore, I'm sitting here with wet eyes hoping no one sees. I haven't felt this way for a loooong time. Bless you! Link to post Share on other sites
butterflydreams Posted October 23, 2015 Author Share Posted October 23, 2015 I really value you as a person. Everything about you, including your near death experience and unique transition story. I think you're amazing, just the way you are. And I wish I could hang out with you in real life and convey all my respect for you in person. You're amazing, don't you ever forget that, and I am so happy and proud that you have found a space and community in AVEN. I love having you around the Gender forum. All this. Definitely. And Calligraphette, I didn't have any expectation that I had to be or would be greeted here warmly and encouragingly (brace for the worst, you know?), but you had a huge role in making me feel ok. And I know I'm not the only one. I'd like it too if a bunch of us could meet up in real life. Not sure if I could handle how good that would feel though ;) *hugs* I know a lot of this stuff is tough for you, and you've had a rough go of much of it, but who you've come out the other end as is pretty great in my book. Link to post Share on other sites
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