Jarv Posted September 14, 2015 Share Posted September 14, 2015 Sorry if this gets too graphic. Don't know how else to put it. I am a male who fancies women. I am attracted to many women. But I don't like sex. I get absolutely no pleasure from it, nor do I get any pleasure from thinking about it. I do however pleasure myself in my own private time, thinking about women (but not thinking about the act of sex). I hate oral, the thought of it makes me feel sick. I also hate hand jobs, and again, makes me feel sick and uncomfortable. This applies to both the thought of it, and the actual thing. I like kissing and cuddling. I don't mind fingering, and I like caressing women's bodies. I just seem to hate stuff done to my genitals though. I am not attracted to men in any way. So, I ASSUME I am a "Straight Asexual". The only thing that's making me doubt that though, is the fact that I pleasure and stimulate myself. I e - I have a "sex" drive, but this drive does not concern sex at all. If that makes any sense. I've been in relationships (although very few) and it has never worked out mainly due to my lack of interest for sex. I can't even fake sex to satisfy a partner, because that would require an erection - which I simply cannot maintain because I am not turned on enough by the sex. Again, sorry if this sounds graphic, but there is no other way to put it. So... from what I've said, in your opinion do I "qualify" as an asexual? Link to post Share on other sites
gayasanaro Posted September 14, 2015 Share Posted September 14, 2015 Sounds like heteroromantic gray-ace. Link to post Share on other sites
nerdperson777 Posted September 14, 2015 Share Posted September 14, 2015 Autochorisexual, pleasures with self. And I guess some heterosensual thrown in. Having a sex drive doesn't mean you can't be asexual. Link to post Share on other sites
.,. Posted September 15, 2015 Share Posted September 15, 2015 Who doesn't hate handjobs? x) They're just the saddest thing ever. It should be a universal agreement. Cause I can do that 70 000 times better myself, without help! Yes your application indicates that you qualify for asexuality, no doubt about it. I find many women (and some men I suppose) hot as well, and me either, I'm no less asexual for it. People are now going to bombard you with loads of terms and subterms that really are useless in the sense that they're mostly born from tumblr and no one outside of this tiny community knows what they mean. You don't need them is my point, you're just asexual and that's not a black and white thing. Much easier to explain it this way, right? Link to post Share on other sites
Megami Posted September 15, 2015 Share Posted September 15, 2015 No desire for sex with another person makes you asexual, no matter how high your libido. I'm actually the same as you (only without a gender preference.) I know there are more specific terms for what it qualifies as, but I don't prefer to break it down that far. Link to post Share on other sites
Jarv Posted September 16, 2015 Author Share Posted September 16, 2015 Thanks. I thought I was indeed asexual, but wanted other's opinions. It's so hard, because I really want a relationship with a woman, but my lack of interest for sex makes it ten times harder. Link to post Share on other sites
Sapphire Rose Posted September 16, 2015 Share Posted September 16, 2015 Hm I consider masturbation to be nonsexual. Since I am asexual and I do not do it for the sex side rather than the "feels good why not" side. I see it more like eating cake or watching tv. It is a form of entertainment to me rather than a sexual thing. If I liked it sexually, I would have sex. Does that make sense? I hope that you find someone. There is someone out there for you. Please remember this. I am sorry you are confused right now. Link to post Share on other sites
KeldaJeannie Posted September 16, 2015 Share Posted September 16, 2015 I'm just starting out on this journey, but I can really identify with what you're saying. I am female, but am not in the slightest bit interested in sex, the main reason my husband has recently left me as I didn't feel I could pretend any more so just avoided it completely, resulting in him thinking I was having a lesbian affair (which I wasn't). In a way I'm glad he did leave though as I made me start questioning whether "straight" is the right label for me! At some point in the future I'd like to think about another relationship, but not yet, and I'd go into it being honest with myself and him, and I've no idea how I'd broach that subject early on in a relationship!! Link to post Share on other sites
Xenopsyche Posted September 21, 2015 Share Posted September 21, 2015 I don't know what we are, but whatever it is we're in the same boat, or at least the same fleet ;) I find women attractive, I suppose it must be sexual as I don't feel the same about men. I quite like being close to a woman i.e. non-sexual relationship stuff, but the closer we get to sex the less attracted I am to them. I'm well aware that this is the opposite to "normal" people. I've actually given up on trying to find a girlfriend, because as with you, it'll get to the point that she'll (probably) want sex and I'll (probably) be unable to deliver it. I'm not asexual, at least not going by the usual definition, so I just think of myself as hetero-non-sexual. Ultimately labels don't matter though, no two people are the same anyway, Link to post Share on other sites
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