Mycroft is Yourcroft Posted April 8, 2014 Share Posted April 8, 2014 And yet it does happen. People can be aroused while being raped, because the genitals are being stimulated. And it sucks because the victim can think that because they felt aroused then it must have meant that they wanted it and they end up not reporting it or it gets used against them if they try to prosecute. It's a rape context, so people don't like it in a psychological way, despite the genital stimulation. But we talked about asexuals who enjoy it, because they seek partners for that. Why ? (NEWSFLASH:: They aren't seeking the sex, they're seeking love and companionship. Sometimes, most times, they have to put up with some sex in order to keep the partner they love happy. Again, SHOW ME proof that these asexual people who 'seek sex' actually exist) I've asked an admin to lock the thread, it's obviously not getting through to the guy, and he's being bloody patronising, offensive and ignorant. Maybe if we're lucky, and he keeps up with this kind of rubbish, he'll be blocked. Yes, censorship is a good option when you are in a dead-end. (What are you, 8?) Link to post Share on other sites
Manly Ace Posted April 8, 2014 Author Share Posted April 8, 2014 So I have to be raped in order to be credible ? That's crazy. Okay let's stop this. Link to post Share on other sites
RoL34 Posted April 8, 2014 Share Posted April 8, 2014 Indeed, because that is not what anyone is saying at all. Remove your strawman before I set it on fire. You are trying to say that there is somehow an exception for rape when it comes to arousal and there is not. Arousal is the same in consensual sex as it is with rape as it is with masturbation as it is with thinking naughty thoughts. It is a physiological response. Now, back to how asexuals can get aroused and enjoy sex. Because they have working genitals that release the happy chemicals when stimulated, they enjoy it like they would a massage. However they are not sexually attracted to their partner, and since we have finally established that arousal does not come from attraction alone, then yes, it is entirely possible for an asexual to enjoy sex. From the article I posted: It means that asexual bodies can experience genital arousal and/or orgasm, without the person feeling sexually attracted to anyone. It means that asexuals can theoretically enjoy sex, from a purely physical standpoint–much like enjoying a massage. It means that asexual bodies can experience arousal (that is not motivated by sexual attraction or desire) during nonsexual physical contact, i.e. during cuddling, caressing, kissing, etc. It means that an asexual’s capability to become aroused or experience orgasm has nothing to do with whether or not they experience sexual attraction and so has nothing to do with their identity as an asexual. (Rape survivors who became aroused or had an orgasm during their assault were not sexually attracted to their rapists, yet their body responded as it would during consensual sex. Sexual attraction/desire = not necessary for sexual arousal/orgasm.) It also means that–like anybody else–an asexual can experience arousal and/or orgasm while being sexually assaulted or raped. Link to post Share on other sites
marki Posted April 8, 2014 Share Posted April 8, 2014 I don't understand asexuals feeling horny.....that seems like it would be attraction which isn't what asexuality is. Link to post Share on other sites
Manly Ace Posted April 8, 2014 Author Share Posted April 8, 2014 I don't understand asexuals feeling horny.....that seems like it would be attraction which isn't what asexuality is. Link to post Share on other sites
marki Posted April 8, 2014 Share Posted April 8, 2014 I don't understand ryu being mad at me lol! Link to post Share on other sites
RoL34 Posted April 8, 2014 Share Posted April 8, 2014 I don't understand asexuals feeling horny.....that seems like it would be attraction which isn't what asexuality is. Try reading this. It explains it better than I can. What you really need to get is that sex drive and desire =/= sexual attraction. Okay? Don't mind Manly Ace, he's abandoned reasonable debate. Link to post Share on other sites
marki Posted April 8, 2014 Share Posted April 8, 2014 I have a libido and I masterbate...I just feel nothing from it nor can I be looking at someone and think about sex. And it isn't like I can think about someone while doing it...it has zero emotions or feelings. Link to post Share on other sites
Vara Posted April 8, 2014 Share Posted April 8, 2014 Sex involves more than one person. Being horny is something you can do all on your own with or without someone to think about. Asexuals do not /desire/ to have sexual contact but that doesn't inherently mean they are incapable of feeling physical pleasure or the rush of endorphins that go along with sexual stimulation. I don't see anything to argue about--either you do desire sexual contact or you do not. If you do not then you're asexual, if you do then you're somewhere within the range of sexuality. Link to post Share on other sites
RoL34 Posted April 8, 2014 Share Posted April 8, 2014 I have a libido and I masterbate...I just feel nothing from it nor can I be looking at someone and think about sex. And it isn't like I can think about someone while doing it...it has zero emotions or feelings. Same with me, but some aces DO get something out of genital stimulation, yet they still do not feel attracted to other people, hence why they identify as ace. s Link to post Share on other sites
Manly Ace Posted April 8, 2014 Author Share Posted April 8, 2014 I have a libido and I masterbate...I just feel nothing from it nor can I be looking at someone and think about sex. And it isn't like I can think about someone while doing it...it has zero emotions or feelings. Same with me, but some aces DO get something out of genital stimulation, yet they still do not feel attracted to other people, hence why they identify as ace. s That's "funny". Earlier it was a physiological response for everyone, whatever your feelings, and now it's "some aces". Link to post Share on other sites
WorldHero Posted April 8, 2014 Share Posted April 8, 2014 Enjoying sex or sexual activities doesn't mean you're sexually attracted to the person? I'm asexual biromantic. From what I've learned, that means I'm not sexually attracted to anyone, but I can be emotionally attracted to people. I've had sex before, I enjoyed it, and I still enjoy it as an asexual. So yes, I can still enjoy sex with someone, even though I'm asexual, because I'm still in love with the person. Just not sexually. In other words, I believe you can enjoy the activity without being attracted to the person in that way. No, that's just a personal modeling of "asexuality". But once again, don't complain if people are confused or skeptical about "asexuality" concept. I understand them now. Because of you, real asexuals are seen as legendary. I'm not complaining because people are confused about it. For me, it's okay for people to not understand something. But I only complain when people assume things about asexuality because they're going by the stereotypes, instead of simply asking for someone to explain to them what asexuality really means. Yes, I'm still new to this identity. After doing some internal observations on myself and what feelings I get from other people, I've come to realize that I'm 90% sure I'm asexual. But I'm sorry, I didn't realize that meant I'm not a "real asexual." I was under the impression that you can identify however you want if you feel more comfortable with the identity, and you didn't need anyone's approval for it. <_< And I thought it was a widely acceptable concept in the asexual community that as an asexual, you can still have a sex drive and being horny or craving sexual activities doesn't mean you're sexually attracted to someone. Because doesn't asexuality mean that you have no sexual attraction to people? Because I'm 100% sure I don't have a sexual attraction to anyone. But If I'm looking to have sex with someone, that just means I'm craving sex. That doesn't mean I'm suddenly sexually attracted. If I'm attracted to someone, I'm attracted to them on a purely emotional level. The urge to get in bed with someone I'm in love with doesn't seem to happen at all. The urge only happens when I'm horny. Besides, I'm not turned on by everything sexual. I'm repulsed by TV/movie porn...It makes me really uncomfortable to watch. I think it's because I'm a prude who doesn't like to see explicit content or indecency like that on my TV, as I feel self-conscious or embarassed by watching it around other people. But I have no opinion on sexual activities at all, probably because I grew up in an environment that was indifferent to it; my parents were concerned when I lost my virginity at 18 to an ex because I did it against their wishes. But they were glad I did it with protection, as they didn't want me to get pregnant until I married. (And I don't want to be pregnant either because I'm terrified of childbirth.) Yet I still have sexual fantasies and I still get aroused, depending on what triggers the arousal. And if I want to satisfy that arousal if I'm dating, I'll probably seek out my partner to do it. But as far as I'm aware, that doesn't mean I'm sexually attracted to my partner. Being aroused is NOT ALWAYS sexual attraction. By that logic, a sexual abuse victim being aroused means they're attracted to their abuser. Or prostitutes being aroused are sexually attracted to their client. But If I'm craving sex, that just means I'm craving sex. It's really that simple. ...Why do I feel like I'm on Tumblr? This is the bullcrap I usually find on there, not on an open community that accepted anyone who identified as asexual and even sexuals. But to be honest, "Manly Ace," you sound like you're going by the asexual stereotypes or misconceptions in here. That's why I'm finding your posts to be kinda bullcrap. Sorry for still being a newb to this identity because I know I still have some learning to do on it, but I don't think that means I'm not a "real asexual." <_< Link to post Share on other sites
RoL34 Posted April 8, 2014 Share Posted April 8, 2014 I have a libido and I masterbate...I just feel nothing from it nor can I be looking at someone and think about sex. And it isn't like I can think about someone while doing it...it has zero emotions or feelings. Same with me, but some aces DO get something out of genital stimulation, yet they still do not feel attracted to other people, hence why they identify as ace. s That's "funny". Earlier it was a physiological response for everyone, whatever your feelings, and now it's "some aces". I did not say it was for everyone, obviously it's not the case for non-libidoists. And yes, I do get aroused but I get no enjoyment from it. It's pretty fucking annoying actually. But then there are some aces who do, and they are no less asexual than you or I. Link to post Share on other sites
Manly Ace Posted April 8, 2014 Author Share Posted April 8, 2014 Damage control. Ok, this time we can say that everything has been said. Link to post Share on other sites
RoL34 Posted April 8, 2014 Share Posted April 8, 2014 Put it this way, if sexual arousal only happened when there was sexual attraction, then we wouldn't have sexual orientations. People would get turned on and automatically assume that meant they want to have sex with whomever they were looking at. But it doesn't happen like that. A guy can be aroused if stimulated by another dude, but that doesn't automatically mean that guy is really gay. Link to post Share on other sites
Manly Ace Posted April 8, 2014 Author Share Posted April 8, 2014 No, he is very heterosexual for sure. Let's stop this. It's finish now ! Link to post Share on other sites
RoL34 Posted April 8, 2014 Share Posted April 8, 2014 If you're done why are you still posting? You can just, y'know, leave. Link to post Share on other sites
Lady Girl Posted April 8, 2014 Share Posted April 8, 2014 Maybe these definitions from the Front Page FAQs will help... Asexual: Someone who does not experience sexual attraction. Demisexual: Someone who can only experience sexual attraction after an emotional bond has been formed. This bond does not have to be romantic in nature. Gray-asexual (gray-a) or gray-sexual: Someone who identifies with the area between asexuality and sexuality, for example because they experience sexual attraction very rarely, only under specific circumstances, or of an intensity so low that it's ignorable. Attraction: In this context, it refers to a mental or emotional force that draws people together. Asexuals do not experience sexual attraction, but some feel other types of attraction. Aesthetic attraction: Attraction to someones appearance, without it being romantic or sexual. Romantic attraction: Desire of being romantically involved with another person. Sensual attraction: Desire to have physical non-sexual contact with someone else, like affectionate touching. Sexual attraction: Desire to have sexual contact with someone else, to share our sexuality with them. From this, I gather that sexual attraction does include a desire to have sexual contact with someone. Link to post Share on other sites
RoL34 Posted April 8, 2014 Share Posted April 8, 2014 But desiring sexual contact does not always mean it is out of sexual attraction, that's all we're trying to say. Link to post Share on other sites
Adogg Posted April 8, 2014 Share Posted April 8, 2014 If it's a site meant for people to come to and ask questions about asexuality, then there is going to be a lot of talk about sex. That's just how it is. I read lots of posts and find it a bit confusing as well how an ace could enjoy sex, but it's nothing to get bothered about. Link to post Share on other sites
~Rikki~ Posted April 8, 2014 Share Posted April 8, 2014 So if I masturbate does that mean I'm sexually attracted to myself? I desire sex. Doesn't mean I'm sexually attracted to every adult I see during that time. Link to post Share on other sites
. . .but there are sounds Posted April 9, 2014 Share Posted April 9, 2014 This thread has clearly spiralled out of control while I was at school. I am shutting it down for a cool down period while the admod team discusses this. Please do not open another thread on the same topic. Yours, . . .but there are sounds, Asexual Musings and Rantings Moderator Link to post Share on other sites
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