nooneg17 Posted July 7, 2008 Share Posted July 7, 2008 I enjoy kissing A lot, all forms of it. It has to be with someone that I care about though. I would not kiss somoene just to kiss someone. If there are feelings behind it, I think it is the best possible thing in the world. Link to post Share on other sites
Næt. Posted July 7, 2008 Share Posted July 7, 2008 I'm tempted to tick all the boxes... I voted 'Other (please explain)'. I've never actually 'made out' with anyone, but I always liked the idea. Link to post Share on other sites
asexysjsfan Posted July 8, 2008 Share Posted July 8, 2008 Well I was indifferent until I actually did it... It was really awkward and much slimier than I thought. It all went bad when I was sick and half asleep on my bed, then a friend walked in and asked if she could use my computer... about 5 minutes later I woke up and she stuck her tongue down my throat... god that was nasty. Now the idea disgusts me, and I won't ever initiate it. I will, however, peck every now and then but I absolutely hate making out. The slug thing brings back bad memories haha. Link to post Share on other sites
emmarainbow Posted July 8, 2008 Share Posted July 8, 2008 It all went bad when I was sick and half asleep on my bed, then a friend walked in and asked if she could use my computer... about 5 minutes later I woke up and she stuck her tongue down my throat... god that was nasty. Jeez! What the hell?? Apart from anything else, kissing someone who's ill really isn't all that appealing. Link to post Share on other sites
Blueflare Posted July 8, 2008 Share Posted July 8, 2008 I understand what people are saying about the germ-sharing ickyness thing, but personally, I found that the way it felt more than compensated for that. I really like kissing and I found it to be sexually arousing. :) Not to mention, handrails and doorknobs are FAR more germ infested than anyone's mouth could hope to be. Yes you don't go around licking doorknobs and handrails but all it takes is one touch to the eyes or mouth afterwards and you can catch far worse things you can from someone's tongue. True, true... and this'll be great news for everyone at AVEN, but I'm pretty sure the germs on our computer keyboards and mouses will also be more numerous than those in someone's mouth lol... unless perhaps the person is ill - or just threw up. :P Link to post Share on other sites
Zealous Posted July 8, 2008 Share Posted July 8, 2008 I decided not to vote on this one, since I don't identify as asexual. But in theory, kissing seems pretty weird. In practice, it's considerably less weird. It's almost embarrassing how easily I get aroused by smashing my face into someone else's. So, whenever I talk about it, it's gross, whenever I do it, it's definitely not. Link to post Share on other sites
Kallan Posted July 8, 2008 Share Posted July 8, 2008 I love kissing. I love making out including the light groping and massaging (but not of the genitalia). I never get sexually aroused by it. My sexual friends get weirded out by that; they know I'm asexual, and they can even accept and understand my lack of a sex drive. But they don't understand how I can be Asexual and enjoy making out and groping. I tell them it's a matter of perspective. They see making out as low intensity sex, I see it as High intensity cuddling. Edit: adendum, I enjoy kissing and making out if the other person is competent, I hate it when somebody is slobbering all over me, groping too hard etc. Link to post Share on other sites
DrainedBag Posted July 9, 2008 Share Posted July 9, 2008 I put indifferent and pleasure w/o arousal. I enjoy it for a bit though I'm not aroused by it. It can just feel nice, but then I get bored and think can we be doing something else now or I wonder how I can back off from this now. So pleasure first, and then it turns to indifference. I don't enjoy French kissing as much. It can be okay, but I prefer straight kisses. Though, I agree with Kallan. A bad kiss is just a horrible experience. Please don't come at me with your tongue hanging out like a frog's. Link to post Share on other sites
Shadow girl Posted July 9, 2008 Share Posted July 9, 2008 I'd have been like "no way I'm outta here". Link to post Share on other sites
Shinnok Posted July 10, 2008 Share Posted July 10, 2008 I only kissed once..and it was more of a feeling of fuzziness and feeling like I could show love through it..I wasn't aroused by it though. But if I were to kiss somebody I loved I'd probably be aroused by it. I don't think I'd act out on it though. So I'll put "Other" since I'm not even sure if I'd be aroused or not Link to post Share on other sites
Shortass Lady Posted July 10, 2008 Share Posted July 10, 2008 I voted 'Indifferent'. Because the very few times I have done it, I didn't feel anything, no arousal or anything, and I'd have been a bit happier not doing it. I also do find the idea quite gross. It just doesn't seem to make any sense, to swab your tongues around each other's cakeholes for entertainment? Even sex I can understand better than that! Link to post Share on other sites
Sparky9738 Posted July 12, 2008 Share Posted July 12, 2008 I tell them it's a matter of perspective. They see making out as low intensity sex, I see it as High intensity cuddling. Yes! My thoughts exactly. Perfectly put. I put enjoyable but no arousal. Link to post Share on other sites
Shayune Posted July 13, 2008 Share Posted July 13, 2008 I was twenty years old before I ever kissed anyone, because it always sounded like a very, VERY strange thing to do. I couldn't ever really get my mind around it (kind of like sex). Now I've kissed three people, but only on stage (I'm an actor). So I'm not sure if this counts. Still, a few of the kisses I've been obliged to partake in were very involved, drawn-out makeout scenes. My verdict? I felt like I had a couple of wiggling worms rubbing against my mouth, and I came out of it with spit all over the bottom half of my face. Also, one of the guys had sharp facial hair, and he gave me a painful rug-burn of sorts. Definitely NOT an enjoyable experience. Link to post Share on other sites
Cirdan Posted July 15, 2008 Share Posted July 15, 2008 Was 24 years old before I ended up kissing anyone - with tongues it's happened twice and both times I was pretty much indifferent (I didn't feel anything for the people involved as such, it just kinda happened and wasn't me who started it). On the other hand it was an interesting experience and it's entirely possible that my views could change. Link to post Share on other sites
nackteziege Posted July 17, 2008 Share Posted July 17, 2008 The one about the other person enjoying it. I remember being really self-conscious and thinking "God, I hope he's happy with this." while kissing past boyfriends. I also do experience pleasure from it, not particularly of the sexual variety, insofar as "Hey, this is exciting because it means we like each other enough to be doing this!" The emotion/meaning behind it or whatever. My by far most enjoyable kiss was with my most recent ex; our first kiss was spontaneous-ish and just...right. I don't know. And I rarely feel that. Generally, kissing seems just flat out strange...like who the hell came up with this idea?! Yeah, thinking about it, it's mostly about the other person for me. I guess I could take it or leave it, but if it's how the other person expresses their affection I'd like to take it simply for the meaning. Kisses on the forehead, etc. are kind of nice. Link to post Share on other sites
Frigid Pink Posted July 23, 2008 Share Posted July 23, 2008 "Pleasure, without sexual arousal or desire" I enjoy kissing with my current romantic partner, although I have not always enjoyed kissing with previous romantic partners. I prefer to kiss without tongue, although, sometimes, I do enjoy the tongue, but not for too long and not too much of it. I don't become physically aroused from kissing. I guess it is psychological for me --- the enjoyment, that is. Kissing means something special to me with someone I love and I get enjoyment from that. Yes, that's it, I guess, especially sweet kisses and little pecks. To me, they're a physical "I love you." Link to post Share on other sites
XTriformisX Posted July 24, 2008 Share Posted July 24, 2008 I do enjoy kissing, but I have to be romantically attached to the person. Once the relationship wth my last bf started going downhill, I found I would make kissing stop as soon as possible, or simply avoid it altogether. I felt bad for it, really. So yeah, I have to be completely attracted to the person otherwise I can't really bring myself to kiss them. I've definitely never got anything sexual out of it though. Link to post Share on other sites
michelletanner23 Posted July 26, 2008 Share Posted July 26, 2008 I enjoy kissing, but only for short periods of time. I like making out when I know nothing else is expected. As soon as the tides change and I know that something more will be expected then I don't enjoy making out anymore. It turns to just little lip kisses and minimal tongue. Even when I do make out I don't like to be on bottom cause then you are the spit catcher and I don't like to be on top because then you are the spit giver!! It's a no win situation unless you are both standing or something... Link to post Share on other sites
yay Posted July 26, 2008 Share Posted July 26, 2008 Pleasure, without arousal. I like making out for the first 25 seconds of it, then I'm indifferent after that. I think I get fun out of it more for being held or hugged, not for actual mouth-to-mouth stuff. I also like the symbolism... someone kissing me means they like me back :) Link to post Share on other sites
Elven valkyrie Posted July 29, 2008 Share Posted July 29, 2008 Pleasure as long as you love the other involved, but without arousal in every case. I don't like it if they're too long (10 seconds is fine) or slimey- keep your mouth fluids to yourself. And I hate French kissing. Bleh. Link to post Share on other sites
rosalie Posted July 30, 2008 Share Posted July 30, 2008 I really like kissing. I voted "pleasure without sexual arousal or desire", as I fully enjoy the kissing / making-out time and all the emotional and sensual sides of it when I'm with my b/f but I don't feel like going any further and have sex, for instance (but I never experience sexual arousal / desire anyway.) Link to post Share on other sites
< retired > Posted July 31, 2008 Share Posted July 31, 2008 I really like kissing and I found it to be sexually arousing... I don't find kissing itself to be sexually arousing, but when you add in everything else that can be going on, it can be. Of course, I may belong more in the hyposexual class than the asexual class (too pure for most sexuals, too impure for most asexuals...) I actually prefer 'passive' sexual activity, e.g. gentle mutual caressing while reading a book, rather than 'active' sexual activity, which can end up being more orgasm-centered. Link to post Share on other sites
fangless Posted August 3, 2008 Share Posted August 3, 2008 I used to identify as sexual, so have done a lot of kissing without thinking about it at all. Then when I decided that after all I was really asexual, I was totally happy about the idea of not kissing ever again - no problem there. Now I have a close physical relationship (which I consider to be platonic but most others would no doubt strongly disagree :P) with a friend which has very slowly increased in intimacy over time. A while ago as we were starting to get closer he would kiss my face, and occasionally an absent minded kiss would fall on my closed mouth. I know this wasn't intentional and he would always apologise profusely, though he didn't have to, saying that it just felt the most natural thing in the world to kiss someone who he loves. It was a little bizarre for a while sure, I was happy for him to kiss me and I was equally happy to not respond, just be passive. However, way back when this began it used to be like that with cuddling and hugs... to begin with he would ask to cuddle me (in bed) and I would say 'no problem go ahead' and just lie there like a log :lol: Over time and very very naturally I began to cuddle back until now you need a crowbar to get us apart. The same thing is beginning to happen with kissing. I have realised that it is OK, I guess, up to a point, with this person that I love very much. For me, meh, why not? It has been very slow and gradual. I kiss back more now, and the sky hasn't fallen down. And sometimes, it does feel very nice, even cute. At the exact same time I can understand exactly why so many fellow asexuals posting here find it repulsive! You have good reasons to. Link to post Share on other sites
< retired > Posted August 3, 2008 Share Posted August 3, 2008 ...he would ask to cuddle me (in bed) and I would say 'no problem go ahead' and just lie there like a log :lol: Over time and very very naturally I began to cuddle back until now you need a crowbar to get us apart. Your partner's patience is admirable. I might have just concluded that you weren't really interested and found something else to do. Link to post Share on other sites
fangless Posted August 4, 2008 Share Posted August 4, 2008 ...he would ask to cuddle me (in bed) and I would say 'no problem go ahead' and just lie there like a log :lol: Over time and very very naturally I began to cuddle back until now you need a crowbar to get us apart. Your partner's patience is admirable. I might have just concluded that you weren't really interested and found something else to do. Yes, it is admirable, except that we are not partners - that is very important. We are very close friends who happen to hold each other in bed. ^_^ What can I say, I'm just good company, even when doing an impression of a log. Link to post Share on other sites
< retired > Posted August 4, 2008 Share Posted August 4, 2008 Yes, it is admirable, except that we are not partners - that is very important. We are very close friends who happen to hold each other in bed. ^_^ Sounds like the asexual version of 'friends with benefits'. I suspect that regular physical contact like you've described is good for (and may be essential for) emotional health. Link to post Share on other sites
< retired > Posted August 4, 2008 Share Posted August 4, 2008 What can I say, I'm just good company, even when doing an impression of a log. I guess that makes your friend a tree-hugger. :lol: :lol: Sorry, I couldn't resist, that was bad. It must be Monday morning. :) Link to post Share on other sites
iamnotforever Posted August 4, 2008 Share Posted August 4, 2008 I've never actually kissed anyone on the lips except close relatives, but when I do kiss my siblings/parents/etc., I am wildly indifferent to the actual thing, but I like the meaning (love/trust/closeness/etc.) I have kissed and been kissed on the cheeks, which I like for the meaning attached to it, and it's comforting. I have never French kissed and don't want to. Oh, and I love hugs. I used to hug trees in grade school- I went through a hippy phase. I prefer hugging people, they are warmer and softer and less likely to get caught in my hair. Link to post Share on other sites
fangless Posted August 5, 2008 Share Posted August 5, 2008 What can I say, I'm just good company, even when doing an impression of a log. I guess that makes your friend a tree-hugger. :lol: :lol: Sorry, I couldn't resist, that was bad. It must be Monday morning. :) Heh, good one ;) :P And yeah it is amazing for emotional health, I need it very much as my day-to-day activities are very very stressful. This (asexual version of) friend with benefits helped me to get through a messy stress-caused breakdown end of last year - he kept me sane! Good medicine indeed. I don't think about the kissing as a weird separate act now - it's just part of a whole relaxing package. I am so lucky. Link to post Share on other sites
ButternutSquash Posted August 6, 2008 Share Posted August 6, 2008 I've never kissed anyone. The thought of it makes me feel a bit ill, and I'm not particularly squeemish - I handle other people's faeces/urine/vomit for a living (that's not all a do, but it's part of it...). Getting that close to someone and having them touch my insides is just... urgh. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts