misspetals Posted July 6, 2008 Share Posted July 6, 2008 Hi, I hope everyone has been enjoying their long weekend and the 4th. I have not been here for a while but I had a question. I have been dating here and there since my ex-bf and I broke up in Feb. I have been out with some really nice guys. But when it came to kissing them, I felt like I was kissing my brother, lol. It did not repulse me or feel bad...I just did not feel anything, physical or emotional. I knew that since I felt nothing with them from kissing or otherwise, there was no romantic chemistry. But...the other night I went out with this guy, who is really sweet and good looking. Though, he is shorter than I am, otherwise he is great. I was not sure if I was really attracted to him at first. We had dinner together, had a good time with him, still not too sure if I saw him romantically or platonically. Then later on, we were in his car...and he kissed me and OMG he was a wonderful kisser and I definitely enjoyed that kiss...very much...no "siblingly" feelings there. The feelings I felt was not just a cuddly affectionate feeling either, I felt really aroused. It was very passionate, but gradual at the same time. He was not touching all of my lady parts, like some other guys did, he told me that he was shy to touch me, which I liked. The pleasure came completely from his kiss. My question is this, do asexuals here really like kissing, to the point where they are aroused and feel some sexual desire? I did not feel aroused or sexual desire for him (or really anyone for a while) until he kissed me. To be really attracted to him, should I have felt "something" before the kiss? I am not sure if that is sexual attraction or that he just really has powerful lips. I have heard from many people that a kiss is a pretty good measure of chemistry? Would greatly appreciate some input!!! I am not looking for anyone to tell me what I am feeling, but if I can hear some input from you all based on your experiences, that would be great. Thanks! Link to post Share on other sites
Shuffle Posted July 6, 2008 Share Posted July 6, 2008 Personally, I absolutely love kissing. Dunno why exactly. I haven't really kissed anyone in awhile, but I don't remember feeling especially aroused. I just remember really enjoying it. It might depend on the person I'm kissing, though. That may or may not have been the sort of response you were looking for at all. Sorry if I was no help. Link to post Share on other sites
Shockwave Posted July 6, 2008 Share Posted July 6, 2008 I enjoy kissing as well, especially if the other person is good at it. And yeah, I can get aroused by it. But I don't really feel a need to act on that arousal (other than to keep kissing and such), I think it's just a response to the physical stimulus. Link to post Share on other sites
misspetals Posted July 6, 2008 Author Share Posted July 6, 2008 Thanks for replying. I appreciate all responses, really. :-) I enclosed a poll, perhaps to make it easier? Personally, I absolutely love kissing. Dunno why exactly. I haven't really kissed anyone in awhile, but I don't remember feeling especially aroused. I just remember really enjoying it. It might depend on the person I'm kissing, though.That may or may not have been the sort of response you were looking for at all. Sorry if I was no help. Link to post Share on other sites
HatShapedHead Posted July 6, 2008 Share Posted July 6, 2008 I quite like a bit of kissing with someone I love. Not for long periods of time, and not really with tongues. It doesn't arouse me at all, and actually I don't think I find it physically pleasant either, but I enjoy it because it is a close thing to do with my partner and it is a way of showing that I care. I assume that he finds it pleasant too! Link to post Share on other sites
stainedandroid Posted July 6, 2008 Share Posted July 6, 2008 I chose "grossed out", although it didn't exactly apply. I have never tried to kiss anyone, because it just doesn't seem interesting or fun. When girls have kissed me, I just feel awkward. I have absolutely no interest in kissing. So I guess "indifferent" would be a better choice. Meh. Link to post Share on other sites
Sha'zar Posted July 6, 2008 Share Posted July 6, 2008 My question is this, do asexuals here really like kissing, to the point where they are aroused and feel some sexual desire?I enjoy kissing. I don't indulge myself as near as often as i would like, mostly because people get the wrong idea. I enjoy the physical stimulation, and the pleasure of a good kiss, but there is rarely any sexual arousal. Link to post Share on other sites
Nalle Neversure Posted July 6, 2008 Share Posted July 6, 2008 "Pleasure, without sexual arousal or desire" Link to post Share on other sites
Skylark Posted July 6, 2008 Share Posted July 6, 2008 I put 'indifferent', but it really varies. If I'm not interested in the person, I'm definitely grossed out (I kissed a guy I wasn't interested in once, and will never, ever do it again). If I like them, however (which is rare), it's very different. Once a guy I had a crush on kissed me on the cheek, and it made me very happy. :) It turned out that he wasn't interested in me, but it still made my day. But maybe that was because a kiss on the cheek is much cleaner. (Though I don't like being kissed anywhere by anyone in general, including relatives - only guys I happen to like make it into the select group allowed to kiss me :P ). I can't see myself ever initiating another kiss after that first disasterous time, though. Link to post Share on other sites
noise Posted July 6, 2008 Share Posted July 6, 2008 i've never kissed anyone i actually liked but i don't imagine the whole slimy tongue thing would somehow be better if i liked the person. Link to post Share on other sites
infinityhype Posted July 6, 2008 Share Posted July 6, 2008 I've never kissed anyone, but I'm sure I would enjoy it just so long as it isn't a huge makeout session. And as long as they don't stick their tongue in my mouth. It would please me, but I wouldn't get aroused or anything like that. Link to post Share on other sites
ZogJhones Posted July 6, 2008 Share Posted July 6, 2008 personally, when i kiss somebody, i feel grossed out, ive only done it twise, and i didint like it... my mouth feelsl ike im swallowing a slug or something, nothing but slime.. ><... Link to post Share on other sites
Solodancer1 Posted July 6, 2008 Share Posted July 6, 2008 Eeeewwwwwww! yick. Worst part of the whole thing. Bleah. Link to post Share on other sites
Chuguru Posted July 6, 2008 Share Posted July 6, 2008 The few times I have tried kissing, I have only ended up completely disgusted. I agree COMPLETELY with ZogJhones on how it feels. EEEEW. Link to post Share on other sites
ily Posted July 6, 2008 Share Posted July 6, 2008 I only made out with someone once. It's embarrassing, but I didn't actually *know* the person. I was SO grossed out. And I haven't had another opportunity since then, so I don't know if making out is inherently gross, of if it was just a bad experience. Link to post Share on other sites
tinkerboi Posted July 6, 2008 Share Posted July 6, 2008 I chose grossed out. I am inbetween that and indifferent. More on the grossed out side. I tried it once but I doubt I will do it again. I'm assuming you mean open-mouth kissing. Link to post Share on other sites
cijay Posted July 6, 2008 Share Posted July 6, 2008 I say pleasure without sexual arousal. I liked making out but it was always on my mind that I would be expected to 'do more' eventually. Link to post Share on other sites
ghosts Posted July 7, 2008 Share Posted July 7, 2008 I love kissing! And yep, I have been aroused because of it - not all the time, but sometimes. Link to post Share on other sites
pikku Posted July 7, 2008 Share Posted July 7, 2008 I don't get kissing. I don't like it, and I don't hate it, but I'm not indifferent. I think it's an interesting ritual. It's really not something I'd do because of the germ-sharing thing, but maybe if the person I was kissing brushed their teeth first... But this would not be at all related to romance... More of a curiosity thing, or an attempt to understand what the significance of pressing parts of a body together (for reasons other than warmth and comfort) is. Anyway, that makes me, "other." Link to post Share on other sites
finney Posted July 7, 2008 Share Posted July 7, 2008 I put "other". Mainly because I'm not sure how I feel about it. I don't like it and probably wouldn't choose it on my own, but most times I've done it I haven't hated it either. However I'm not totally indifferent OTOH. Hard to explain. I was with one man that I didn't enjoy kissing at all, but I think it was his technique. It just wasn't the way I'd like it done, if I was really going to like it. The times I have liked it, it's more like satisfying a curiosity...not pleasure without arousal or pleasure with arousal, just more of an "OK, that's what that's like" kind of thing. And I also enjoy the closeness that usually goes with kissing if not the kissing itself. But still, it's not my favorite thing to do. Link to post Share on other sites
In_Omnia_Paratus Posted July 7, 2008 Share Posted July 7, 2008 my mouth is for MY TONGUE. THATS IT. if your tongue was MEANT to be in it. I'd be born with TWO. blech. and normal closed mouth kissing is just like k. wevs. its like if I touched my finger knuckles. to someone elses fist. its like completely empty. Link to post Share on other sites
PrairieGhost Posted July 7, 2008 Share Posted July 7, 2008 I love kissing my boyfriend, but I don't get aroused by it. I feel warm and fuzzy all over and I never want to let him go, which is by far the best response I've ever felt kissing anyone. It always felt awkward or wrong in the past. Now it's actually enjoyable <3 Link to post Share on other sites
Solodancer1 Posted July 7, 2008 Share Posted July 7, 2008 my mouth is for MY TONGUE.THATS IT. if your tongue was MEANT to be in it. I'd be born with TWO. blech. Well put. WARNING: Live human being. Do not touch. Use in a manner inconsistent with labeling can lead to injury or disfigurement and is illegal. DO NOT attempt to consume contents. Not intended for consumption. Link to post Share on other sites
PrairieGhost Posted July 7, 2008 Share Posted July 7, 2008 my mouth is for MY TONGUE.THATS IT. if your tongue was MEANT to be in it. I'd be born with TWO. blech. Well put. WARNING: Live human being. Do not touch. Use in a manner inconsistent with labeling can lead to injury or disfigurement and is illegal. DO NOT attempt to consume contents. Not intended for consumption. roflmao XD Link to post Share on other sites
HD Ready Posted July 7, 2008 Share Posted July 7, 2008 I have no strong feelings regarding kissing. In theory I think it's a tad gross, and having kissed girls (none that I've ever really liked) and having been kissed on the cheek. They certainly weren't pleasant experiences. *Thinks back to the awkardness of his first girlfriend* I can however see myself, kissing someone but only if we where compatible and in a relationship together. It would have to be something that I worked toward though and I don't think I'd kiss someone at least a few dates into a relationship. No tongue though Link to post Share on other sites
Blueflare Posted July 7, 2008 Share Posted July 7, 2008 I understand what people are saying about the germ-sharing ickyness thing, but personally, I found that the way it felt more than compensated for that. I really like kissing and I found it to be sexually arousing. :) Link to post Share on other sites
emmarainbow Posted July 7, 2008 Share Posted July 7, 2008 I love kissing! And yep, I have been aroused because of it - not all the time, but sometimes. Yeah, that. I've found (playing spin the bottle ) that most people I feel kinda meh about kissing, although occassionally someone will be a really good kisser and I'll enjoy it eevn if I don't know them astoundingly well. But usually I have to know the person first. Then it's awesome. I've tried to kiss when I felt uncomfortable, or had people try and kiss me - I've never enjoyed that, made me feel tainted somehow. Link to post Share on other sites
cijay Posted July 7, 2008 Share Posted July 7, 2008 I understand what people are saying about the germ-sharing ickyness thing, but personally, I found that the way it felt more than compensated for that. I really like kissing and I found it to be sexually arousing. :) Not to mention, handrails and doorknobs are FAR more germ infested than anyone's mouth could hope to be. Yes you don't go around licking doorknobs and handrails but all it takes is one touch to the eyes or mouth afterwards and you can catch far worse things you can from someone's tongue. Link to post Share on other sites
Hayley Posted July 7, 2008 Share Posted July 7, 2008 I find that I'm starting to enjoy kissing more and more, providing I'm very fond of the person. Not to the point of sexual arousal but, hey, who knows what the future'll be. :) Link to post Share on other sites
raeanne Posted July 7, 2008 Share Posted July 7, 2008 Hi all, I voted “Pleasure, without sexual arousal or desire” but I have to add a clarifier. I do not enjoy French kissing. Regular kissing is OK. I enjoy backrubs, holding hands, etc. As long as “making out” stays within my limits and it's with someone I care about a great deal, I’m OK with it. Link to post Share on other sites
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