Tommiboy13 Posted March 2, 2014 Share Posted March 2, 2014 I've thought of that, because I don't like physical touch (asensual), but I don't think it would be bad if there was no cuddling involved : ) Link to post Share on other sites
RainbowGalaxy Posted March 3, 2014 Share Posted March 3, 2014 Spooning sounds fine (though I wouldn't want to do it for real anymore) and I'm sure it is if you're 'the person in the front', but if you're not, you constantly have the other person's hair in your face and you don't know what to do with the left/right arm... actually, you're bound to get pins and needles in it because either you or your partner is lying on it. IMO, spooning is only 'romantic' for one... and pretty uncomfortable for the other. But again, that may just be me! I've heard a lot of people say this (so you're definitely not alone!) but I've played both sides and I enjoy them both, so I guess it's just the person. ^_^ Link to post Share on other sites
marmalade-cats Posted March 3, 2014 Share Posted March 3, 2014 When I'm in a relationship that's progressed to the point of sharing a bed, I'm usually fine with it! For the moment though I just share my bed with whichever cat wants to snuggle at the moment :P Link to post Share on other sites
ZombieBrideXD Posted March 3, 2014 Share Posted March 3, 2014 do dogs count? my dog shares a bed with me, and i like it. i also dont mind sleeping next to girls, but boys always want to touch and im not a person who enjoys touch Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Noodle Posted March 3, 2014 Share Posted March 3, 2014 I love sleeping next to someone. For me, cuddling with them as we sleep is part of it. I currently have a friend that comes over and we cuddle in general up to movies and such. Then just go to sleep. She's a very good little spoon, which helps. Good size/ shape to wrap around and hold. :) I've had friends in the past that I've had a similar situation with. Just people who enjoy cuddling and physical touch. And when in actual relationships. I've always slept in the same bed/couch/whatever. I find I usually fall asleep easier next to someone. Link to post Share on other sites
*Orion* Posted March 3, 2014 Share Posted March 3, 2014 Spooning sounds fine (though I wouldn't want to do it for real anymore) and I'm sure it is if you're 'the person in the front', but if you're not, you constantly have the other person's hair in your face and you don't know what to do with the left/right arm... actually, you're bound to get pins and needles in it because either you or your partner is lying on it. IMO, spooning is only 'romantic' for one... and pretty uncomfortable for the other. But again, that may just be me! I've heard a lot of people say this (so you're definitely not alone!) but I've played both sides and I enjoy them both, so I guess it's just the person. ^_^ I'm a bit ambivalent about spooning. I've found that, as the man, you are usually the spooner rather than the spoonee. I suspect it's much nicer being the spoonee, but I've only ever been the spooner despite being the smaller person in most of my relationships. I feel like I've been getting jibbed! :( Link to post Share on other sites
RainbowGalaxy Posted March 3, 2014 Share Posted March 3, 2014 Spooning sounds fine (though I wouldn't want to do it for real anymore) and I'm sure it is if you're 'the person in the front', but if you're not, you constantly have the other person's hair in your face and you don't know what to do with the left/right arm... actually, you're bound to get pins and needles in it because either you or your partner is lying on it. IMO, spooning is only 'romantic' for one... and pretty uncomfortable for the other. But again, that may just be me! I've heard a lot of people say this (so you're definitely not alone!) but I've played both sides and I enjoy them both, so I guess it's just the person. ^_^ I'm a bit ambivalent about spooning. I've found that, as the man, you are usually the spooner rather than the spoonee. I suspect it's much nicer being the spoonee, but I've only ever been the spooner despite being the smaller person in most of my relationships. I feel like I've been getting jibbed! :( Aw. Tell your partner(s) to spoon you! :( Guys are usually the spooners, but that doesn't mean there's anything wrong with asking for a switch around! Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Noodle Posted March 3, 2014 Share Posted March 3, 2014 ya you allowed to change between being the big spoon and little spoon. Unless it emasculates (sp?) you too much? I do agree with the fact that if you are a guy, it's often assumed (expected) you are or will be the big spoon. One ex and I only slept spooning together, but I often needed to change sides from my left to my right during the night. So we'd go from big to small to big again, then back to small throughout the night. What was important to us was not who was big or small spoon but that we were always holding each other. (although I usually was big, and I do admit to feeling a bit emasculated at times as a small spoon. Thank you society norms being preached to me...). The best of course is when you cuddle with 2 other people and you are in the middle! You get to be big AND small spoon at the same time! Especially when you are watching the muppets..... And fall asleep.... ah good times. Link to post Share on other sites
*Orion* Posted March 3, 2014 Share Posted March 3, 2014 Spooning sounds fine (though I wouldn't want to do it for real anymore) and I'm sure it is if you're 'the person in the front', but if you're not, you constantly have the other person's hair in your face and you don't know what to do with the left/right arm... actually, you're bound to get pins and needles in it because either you or your partner is lying on it. IMO, spooning is only 'romantic' for one... and pretty uncomfortable for the other. But again, that may just be me! I've heard a lot of people say this (so you're definitely not alone!) but I've played both sides and I enjoy them both, so I guess it's just the person. ^_^ I'm a bit ambivalent about spooning. I've found that, as the man, you are usually the spooner rather than the spoonee. I suspect it's much nicer being the spoonee, but I've only ever been the spooner despite being the smaller person in most of my relationships. I feel like I've been getting jibbed! :( Aw. Tell your partner(s) to spoon you! :( Guys are usually the spooners, but that doesn't mean there's anything wrong with asking for a switch around! I'm single now so currently spoonless :p Link to post Share on other sites
BlackRose Posted March 3, 2014 Share Posted March 3, 2014 I've only ever shared the bed with friends or cousins - it was fine in my experience. I am pretty good when it comes to working with what I've got. If I have a designated place on the bed, I will only ever occupy that space. However sleepers that thrash around - there's no way to work around this, other than getting a separate bed. Also sleepers who snore frequently and loudly multiple times in the night - I get very annoyed and my patience is thin. So really it depends on the sleeper's sleeping habits. As for marriage/relationship - I would like to mix it up - some nights on a shared bed, other nights on a separate bed - depending on the circumstance. I would ideally like to have my own bedroom with an attached washroom - even if I don't "use" the space on a daily basis. The knowledge that I have a separate space is comforting, healthy, and therapeutic. I think everyone should have their own space in the house - married or not! However, if a separate bedroom is not possible - I need a separate washroom! I am picky when it comes to washrooms and would really not like to share or compromise on that! I also think that by not sleeping on a shared bed every single night, the couple will learn to appreciate the value of sleeping on a shared bed more often! Also, by having separate bedrooms/washrooms, this results in less quarreling about each other's organization/hygiene habits! However, I've always wondered if having separate spaces will feel too much like living a single life? Will it be easier to put your partner at a distance in the relationship? This is the only danger. Also by not sharing the same space, will the couple be used to not compromising/adapting and will this influence other areas of the relationship? I don't know. When my girlfriend at the time and I were looking for a place to live together, we decided we wanted one with 2 bedrooms and 2 bathrooms, so we could each have our own space. It was really important to us and it helped a lot. Don't worry, there will always still be plenty of things you need to compromise on! Link to post Share on other sites
RainbowGalaxy Posted March 4, 2014 Share Posted March 4, 2014 Spooning sounds fine (though I wouldn't want to do it for real anymore) and I'm sure it is if you're 'the person in the front', but if you're not, you constantly have the other person's hair in your face and you don't know what to do with the left/right arm... actually, you're bound to get pins and needles in it because either you or your partner is lying on it. IMO, spooning is only 'romantic' for one... and pretty uncomfortable for the other. But again, that may just be me! I've heard a lot of people say this (so you're definitely not alone!) but I've played both sides and I enjoy them both, so I guess it's just the person. ^_^ I'm a bit ambivalent about spooning. I've found that, as the man, you are usually the spooner rather than the spoonee. I suspect it's much nicer being the spoonee, but I've only ever been the spooner despite being the smaller person in most of my relationships. I feel like I've been getting jibbed! :( Aw. Tell your partner(s) to spoon you! :( Guys are usually the spooners, but that doesn't mean there's anything wrong with asking for a switch around! I'm single now so currently spoonless :P Still good advice for life in general. ^_^ A bit of little-spooning never goes amiss. Link to post Share on other sites
Ameoba Posted March 6, 2014 Share Posted March 6, 2014 I like sharing bed Link to post Share on other sites
girltwink666 Posted March 7, 2014 Share Posted March 7, 2014 I have trouble partitioning my bed with my cat so a human who is 3 or more times bigger than him is definitely out of the quesiton Link to post Share on other sites
Heart Posted March 7, 2014 Share Posted March 7, 2014 This thread has been moved from Asexual Q&A to Asexual Relationships. Heart Asexual Q&A and World Watch Moderator Link to post Share on other sites
SorryNotSorry Posted March 7, 2014 Share Posted March 7, 2014 I snore. Consider yourself warned. Link to post Share on other sites
noabody Posted March 7, 2014 Share Posted March 7, 2014 I've been with a woman over twenty years and never really liked sharing the bed. After six years I migrated to another room. I didn't realize how important cuddling was to her as far as making an intimate connection, but then intimacy was always difficult for me, almost as much as sex. Link to post Share on other sites
Adogg Posted March 7, 2014 Share Posted March 7, 2014 Nope, sorry, I love sharing a bed regardless, It's really one of the only ways in this lifestyle I've found myself to be able to feel close to anyone. Link to post Share on other sites
Leelian Posted March 7, 2014 Share Posted March 7, 2014 I enjoy sharing a bed with my boyfriend when we can. Sometimes it can be a bit squished or uncomfortable because our beds are tiny twin sizes and my air mattress isn't much bigger (plus you feel the other person moving on the air mattress, which can wake you up). But it's really comfortable when we have a big-enough space to sleep on and move about without really disturbing the other. I like cuddling before bed, but my boyfriend is a stomach sleeper and I am a side sleeper, so it's hard to cuddle and fall asleep that way. My boyfriend and I have decided that when we move in together, we will get our own space. It won't be separate bedrooms, but we will each have our own space to relax in without the other being there. Link to post Share on other sites
mari Posted March 9, 2014 Share Posted March 9, 2014 I love to share my bed with my partner and with my pets too¡ Most of the times we sleep 6 in the bed¡ Link to post Share on other sites
Helicase Posted March 9, 2014 Share Posted March 9, 2014 I haven't actually shared a bed with anyone yet, but I don't think I'd like it. I want quite and no movement so unless they're as still as me I'm not sure I would be down with that. Still cuddle sesh in bed would be nice, though I think it'd just be on the couch while watching TV or something :3 Link to post Share on other sites
deletedprofile Posted March 9, 2014 Share Posted March 9, 2014 No but it's a long distance relationship. If she lived with me I'm sure we would. Link to post Share on other sites
Hikishi Posted March 9, 2014 Share Posted March 9, 2014 6 of one, half a dozen of the other for me. I like sharing a bed for cuddling and naps, but when it's 8 hours a night sleeptime, I want it to myself. That said I have shared a bed with a couple of people with no problems - I put it down to the touching. If i'm going to get proper rest, I need to not be touched whilst sleeping (plus I run hot and *hate* waking up sweaty and in contact with another person). if it's a nap, then being touched and cuddled isn't a problem, as it's extra rest I wouldn't usually get. Link to post Share on other sites
xlindziex Posted March 10, 2014 Share Posted March 10, 2014 I've been in my current relationship for just over a year and I can count how many times we've slept together in the same bed on two hands (which I think is kind of low given it's been a year). I put it off for a really long time in the beginning because I wasn't sure if I would be comfortable with that. I like having my own space and he's a very physical touchy-feel-y person, where I'm not, so even now we don't sleep together that often. I kind of feel bad because lately he's been wanting to cuddle more and kiss more and the more he does it the more I don't want it BUT, y'know, that's going into a different topic. Link to post Share on other sites
Touchofinsight Posted March 11, 2014 Share Posted March 11, 2014 I am personally fine with it, as long as the bed is an animal-free zone during sleep. I don't care if they hop on the bed later after I am asleep, like most cats seem to do ^_^ but during the process of falling asleep no. Make a makeshift bed or comforter for the pet on the floor. Nothing worse then the bed smelling like dog or eating later and discovering somehow I have pet hair in my mouth/food in the future. Its just unpleasant and completely avoidable. However there will be many nights where I sleep alone because I am a night owl and I doubt any of my partners ever could or would stay up as frequent as I do. So naturally I go to bed after them and to be polite I don't try to sleep in and wake them. Sleep on the coach, floor, or spare bed. Link to post Share on other sites
Feral_Sophisticate Posted March 11, 2014 Share Posted March 11, 2014 My girl and I sleep together as much as possible, whenever we're together. Quite often, she sleeps completely naked next to me (for her, it's comfortable), and I don't complain, as I like to just look at her. She and I love to cuddle, hold hands and otherwise are very "touchy-feely", without it being sexual. Massages happen. A lot. So yes, sharing a bed is an absolute preference for both of us. Link to post Share on other sites
Amoeba-Proteus Posted March 11, 2014 Share Posted March 11, 2014 Having your own bed is great. You can sprawl out all you want and there's no objects preventing said task. Link to post Share on other sites
Amedot Posted March 11, 2014 Share Posted March 11, 2014 I hate sleeping alone. I share my bed with everyone... animals, friends, family, or partners. I even sleep in the same bed with my friend and her husband XD I hate sleeping alone. Link to post Share on other sites
Xavy Posted March 11, 2014 Share Posted March 11, 2014 I am fine with sharing a bed, would spend all my time on the bed sleeping anyway, so no issues there. Link to post Share on other sites
Moon Thief Posted March 13, 2014 Share Posted March 13, 2014 I wouldn't mind sharing a bed, but I wouldn't want to cuddle while sleeping. Link to post Share on other sites
Dobos Torte Posted March 13, 2014 Share Posted March 13, 2014 Also, because I have restless leg syndrome, every time I share a bed with someone I am hyper aware that if I move as much as my body desires to move I will wake them up constantly. Sometimes I can spend up to 4 hours trying to fall asleep just because my legs refuse to stop moving about. Wait, how often does it happen to you? In my case, it happens, say...once in two months and once a week or so in the summer. Link to post Share on other sites
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