am i grey?

[Marieve]

hi~ ^^; i made this account a year ago, when i was sure that i was demibisexual/demiheteroromantic (or something among those lines? labels are complicated.) this year, i found out i'm straight, but i'm still not sure if i'm grey or not. i looked at the definitions on the aven wiki, but it made more confused than anything else. so i want to know what you guys think, based on these facts:

- i feel primary attraction towards handsome men, but most of the time, it doesn't go as far as secondary.
- as soon as i think about a guy sexually, i feel a romantic attraction towards him. but if i don't feel sexually attracted to him, i can't think about him romantically.
- i can't think about having sex with a guy without knowing who he is. sure, i might be sexually attracted to him if he's good-looking, but it doesn't go as far as wanting intercourse with him.
- i can't imagine having sex with a friend. i need to be romantically attached to the guy.

so... can you guys help me find out which label fits me the best? demisexual/romantic? greyromantic/sexual? or just plain heterosexual/romantic? thanks! <3

[Rising Sun]

What you describe sounds like what happens for most sexual persons. Sadly, our society makes people believe that the only way to be sexual is to crave wild sex with dozens of strangers and celebrities, and to want many kinds of spicy sex (especially oral and anal) like in porn, and classifies anything more restrictive as "uptight" or "repressed". But most people I know can't be sexually attracted without being romantically attracted. But it's seen as conservative now. It's not conservative, it's just one of the infinite ways to be sexual and that's the way many people are ! Or anyway, that's the way I see things.

[Marieve]

thanks, that helps! i wonder what other people here think, though?

[The Not So Impossible Girl]

I think the real question is, are you grey? Or are you gray?

But actually, reading this, you come across to me a totally regular sexual person. You obviously experience sexual attraction. That's the main part of a sexual orientation. Of course, your own personal preferences will affect if you actually think it's a good decision to sleep with that person or not. I know a lot of heterosexual people who are a lot like you. You've got a good head on your shoulders is all. I agree with Rising Sun. The society we live in teaches people that in order to be a "true" sexual person, you have to want sex with every conventionally attractive you meet. Which is stupid.