Tumbling Around the Spectrum (might be TMI)

[Starbogen]

Sorry for the weird title XD It's just that yeah.. I have no idea if I'm ace, gray, straight, ect. and I've almost given up on putting a name to it; what I do want to do is figure it out. But I'm not sure how..

I just know that (this might get TMI..?) I like men, particularly if they're feminine, I don't find masculine men attractive at all. I've liked some women but not to the extent that I would really think I'm bi; I just find them beautiful, particularly if they're powerful. I also love androgyny in people so that might be part of what has me confused.. As far as sexual attraction goes, I'm not sure if I've experienced it tbh. I know I've experienced sexual arousal but I don't know about attraction; maybe once. And that "once" well, I wasn't thinking about "usual sex".. I don't want to get explicit but let's just say I didn't think I'd be doing it with what it is usually done

And by that awkward explanation I basically mean pegging.

(seriously someone please tell me if I need to edit this out or anything) I'm not used to talking about this stuff :redface:

Anyway, so yeah, I know it's not all that unusual (?) but that's the reason I have no idea where I am on the spectrum.. also, I'm interested in sex, it's just that that interest never includes me in it (except for that "once") and then there's the fact that I'm not sure if I thought about it just because I did or if it was after seeing my friend do this dance routine in a sleeveless shirt :/ I don't know if what I find sexually attractive is the idea or the person.

I guess there's a lot more but I can't think about it right now unless someone asks me so I guess that's it. If anyone finds this actually common around here or familiar then kindly tell me; if you don't then tell me anyway.

[Guest]

You don't say how old you are, but I'm assuming that you don't have any real life sexual experiences? Sex is something that most people learn... sure, there are some basics that are ingrained, but those instincts mostly just get us to the starting line. We have just enough curiosity, romantic interest and/or libido that propels us to try.

There's a reason why people date a lot. Why people change the types of folks they date. Why people go to therapy for continually picking the wrong partners. Why people don't always "come out" when they're 15... because this stuff is all very complicated, confusing, and, to make everything even harder, we change as we age. So even if something worked for us 10 years ago, it doesn't mean it always will.

All of this is to say... relax! If you're comfortable enough thinking about that non-usual sex act, then I trust that you have the openness you'll need to explore and discover yourself.