didlowman Posted October 8, 2013 Share Posted October 8, 2013 Hello there, I have a question I'm a male Aspie Axexual ( Hetro romantic/demisexual) who can't masterbate, to me it just feels wrong, and well until my last GF I never well climaxed I had other sexual experiances but they all felt wrong, but she did not it's really odd, so I'm wondering how many others are like this my friends think I'm a freak Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted October 8, 2013 Share Posted October 8, 2013 Why do you feel masturbation is "wrong"? It's a biological function like any other, there's nothing immoral to it. Some people 'need' it as a hormonal outlet, some use it to get better sleep, some as a stress relief, and so on. You're definitely not a freak :) Link to post Share on other sites
Snusmumriken Posted October 8, 2013 Share Posted October 8, 2013 If you don't need to masturbate, just don't do it. Nothing is a duty in affective and sexual terms. It's like a food you don't like. You can say: I am not able to eat ''(Word)''. You just don't eat it and it's perfectly right. If some people consider it as 'weird' it's not your problem, it's theirs. Link to post Share on other sites
didlowman Posted October 9, 2013 Author Share Posted October 9, 2013 It just feels wrong like someone else is touching me, in a wrong manner, which loses all meaning to continue, because if something feels wrong you stop.I was wondering if anyone was like that, i'm in this odd position where I like females but can't do X and well if a relationship gets to that point they bring it up not me. Link to post Share on other sites
Verust Posted October 10, 2013 Share Posted October 10, 2013 If you want to change how you feel about it, you will probably have to force yourself to get comfortable with it /hmm. Do you feel that it would be more/less wrong if you did it with another person? Has this always been the case for you? Do you consider yourself sexual i.e. you want to have sex with the woman (horny for her or w/e) but cannot/[don't want to] go through with it? . I don't remember reading something on AVEN about another individual feeling this way specifically, although being disgusted by the organ itself would have the same end result probably. I have by no means read all of AVEN or(V) I may have just forgot. . I personally do not feel this way about myself. Link to post Share on other sites
didlowman Posted October 11, 2013 Author Share Posted October 11, 2013 Sexual yes but, it requires more trust and care, I don't get that horny feeling from afar, I'm attracted to the persoanllity not how they look, I can't really tell from a pysical aspect but with personallity I know what I like Sexual yes but, it requires more trust and care, I don't get that horny feeling from afar, I'm attracted to the persoanllity not how they look, I can't really tell from a pysical aspect but with personality I know what I like, however, with my self nope I can't as I said only my ex was able to get, it to work, my 2 other sexual experances felt wrong but she did not Link to post Share on other sites
Verust Posted October 11, 2013 Share Posted October 11, 2013 Well, perhaps you can find another girl friend like your ex where it does not feel wrong. . You probably thought about it, but perhaps it may help to write down stuff to try and figure out what the difference was between your past sexual partners. Were the other two experiences from people you were dating? In my experience, it is always better to scribble stuff down than to sit there with only your thoughts. . It is a bit confusing to me why you were OK with your ex, but not with yourself /hmm. If not masturbating isn't a problem for you, then I wouldn't really worry about it. If it is, then I would personally attempt to make myself do it to whatever extent I could manage and hope it gets better, although you may already be doing this. Link to post Share on other sites
didlowman Posted October 12, 2013 Author Share Posted October 12, 2013 It feels wring with myself it's almost like i'm witnessing it from afar I get to X point then die, my ex I have no idea why we worked, we just did we dated only for a little bit shorter than my 1st GF but she just got it to work and I don't know how Link to post Share on other sites
Kurbs Posted October 12, 2013 Share Posted October 12, 2013 If you do'nt like it, don't do it! Absolutely nothing says you have to masturbate (other than society, of course. ) I don't, and I'm perfectly healthy. I seriously wouldn't stress out about it too much, it's fairly common around here just to not even think about sex, or masturbation at all. If what's important to you is finding the relationship and not the sex, worry about that, and be honest with your partner when it comes to that point. "I'm not really interested in sex, sometimes it won't work, sometimes it might." Simple as that! If you've got the right partner, they'll understand. Link to post Share on other sites
didlowman Posted October 13, 2013 Author Share Posted October 13, 2013 Still to fell so bad about touching yoursef is not a common thing with Asexual right, To me it's bad touch Link to post Share on other sites
Biohazard42 Posted October 13, 2013 Share Posted October 13, 2013 It's not that I consider it immoral I just find masturbation to be gross in the same way slugs are gross. Slimy and unappealing. Link to post Share on other sites
didlowman Posted October 14, 2013 Author Share Posted October 14, 2013 Again not a gross more like someone else is touching me inappropriately, same with most other people, so I'm kinda traped sexually speaking Link to post Share on other sites
The B Posted October 14, 2013 Share Posted October 14, 2013 Here's some questions you might want to ask yourself. 1. Is it at all important to you that you are able to masturbate without guilt or feeling icky? Why? 2. Is there anything that might be pressuring you to feel this way? Do you agree with it? 3. Are you able to satisfy yourself in other ways? Is this something you are interested in learning to become comfortable with? 4. Would it bother you if it became a part of your life? Why? Now, would it bother you if it didn't? I'm just failing to understand why it's a big deal for you to feel comfortable with it if you don't like it...? Link to post Share on other sites
Verust Posted October 14, 2013 Share Posted October 14, 2013 Still to fell so bad about touching yoursef is not a common thing with Asexual right, To me it's bad touch I do not think it is an asexual thing, although you are obviously welcome to ask anything here. I agree with the post above me by tohuvabohu. . This paragraph is my uneducated opinion. The "wrong feeling "sounds like it is due to some form of "anti-sex/masturbation" conditioning, likely when you were younger, that you experienced. You don't seem to be consciously aware of the reason for feeling this way, so something in your unconscious is causing this. Unless you had obvious parental, religious, etc. issues, it will be hard to determine why you feel this way. Link to post Share on other sites
didlowman Posted November 1, 2013 Author Share Posted November 1, 2013 1. Is it at all important to you that you are able to masturbate without guilt or feeling icky? Why? If I could yes, things should not feel odd with this area2. Is there anything that might be pressuring you to feel this way? Do you agree with it? Beyong people telling me it's normal to self pleasure not really3. Are you able to satisfy yourself in other ways? Is this something you are interested in learning to become comfortable with? Intellecally yes sexually not really 4. Would it bother you if it became a part of your life? Why? Now, would it bother you if it didn't? Not really I'm just curious to see if others were like me and no religious up brining my household has been pro sex and self discovery Link to post Share on other sites
didlowman Posted December 17, 2013 Author Share Posted December 17, 2013 I know it's an odd one that no one been able to get around Link to post Share on other sites
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