Not sure about relationships...

[caladhiel]

I'm a bit confused about a new relationship. By "new" I mean we've been dating for about three weeks. First date I didn't even realise was a date until I was already on it. It's the first time I've even come close to a relationship before. I like the guy; we have similar interests and get on well, although he is much smarter than I am and many conversations go way over my head, but he loves me. A lot. Puts me in a rather awkward position. I've no idea what reasons for dating should be.

The only thing I know about dating comes from shows like Friends. There, you don't generally start off with a crush... seems like you start off getting along and trying it out. That's what I feel I'm doing, but the fact that the relationship is clearly unequal is rather offputting for me - I wouldn't mind if we both were just testing the waters but him feeling so much more for me than I do for him makes me feel guilty even though I enjoy myself. Also, he's sexual. He knows I'm ace and has said he's fine with it and for the moment I believe him (I wouldn't be having sex after three weeks even if I was sexual, personally) but what happens down the track? I know sex is really important in relationships to sexual people and I could never, ever do it.

I'm also vaguely wondering about my romantic orientation... I've identified as biromantic for a while but more recently have started to more closely identify as panromantic as gender really doesn't matter to me. Now I'm wondering if I'm aromantic, because I've never felt romantic feelings for anybody: not him, not anyone else. I've read about what it feels like... heart pounding, hard to stop thinking about them, excitement in the belly... honestly I've more closely felt like that when thinking about Tennant-era Doctor Who, just because that show was awesome. Before I came out to myself I always thought I was just a late bloomer, and I was fine with that at the time. Now I'm wondering if I'm thinking the same about my romantic orientation. More recently when I think about marrying my mind flits to the practical and economic results of a marriage: I want to move to another location - would it be more convenient for me to marry someone who already has roots I can tap into? I know my choice of career will yield little income; if I marry someone will it lessen the financial burden? I wouldn't actually marry someone just for economic and practical purposes, but it's what my mind flits to, like how I think the only way I'd ever have sex (unlikely in itself) is if I both loved someone and wanted children from it.

So mostly confused about relationships. Is it okay if I keep testing the waters with this guy and see how I feel (I am enjoying myself; I like cuddling but I didn't like it the one time we kissed) or should I break it off now and let him down easy? Could I learn to love him? Am I potentially romantic or should I stop kidding myself? Should I only date someone I already have a crush on, not just someone I have fun with? Are relationships in the real world like in Friends, or different? And if I do learn to love him, will I be setting myself up for heartbreak when he can no longer deal with a lack of sex?

A lot of questions... any opinion would help greatly!

[soMeRandoM670]

Im less of help and more rambling person haha

I been in same position myself, I apparently. some in my youth i was apparently in relationship for year and i never knew it, some how im now Mega Best Freinds with this female that started off as wanting relationship with her. Im now some how agreed to test waters with this extremely beautiful and wonderful, (she said its takes allot effort for her love someone and very easy let go everything) extremely sexual person, and we are waiting to date when she comes up see how both us feel. She knows about me allot about my sexuality told her everything.

She, we disscussed what happen if we where be in relationship. And already pre planed our compromises, her compromising romantic means allot to me since it be difficult for her, and myself compromising on sexual is difficult, but bothing mutual agreeing compromise equally, since she im very romantic and she not, she very sexual and im non sexual. but im happy because her compromising on romantic means so much to her and myself.

we not even in relationship yet, we just talking already. And pretty much Just freinds.

i hope my random shit helps.