aland Posted January 25, 2013 Share Posted January 25, 2013 need some advice from other asexuals that are in a relationship with a sexual. Myself and my partner split 9 months ago after a 8 month serious relationship, part of the split was because i couldnt satisfy her sexually ( I hadnt come out as ace at this point) anyway we have been getting closer again over the last few months as basically friends that cuddle a lot. She is going through a rough time atm and i have been giving her plenty of love and support. I do love her a lot and never stopped loving her just as soon as she touches my genital areas as repulse, even at xmas when she stayed over and shared my bed nothing happened. She is such a lovely person but also she is bisexual and very sexual in all ways. if we were to go back into a relationship is there anything I can do, was even thinking about using a strap on cock as mine wont play ball but I want to give her what 95% of the population can, I love her that much but I am still repulsed by the idea of having sex... thanks Link to post Share on other sites
Einy Posted January 25, 2013 Share Posted January 25, 2013 I recommend to be honest about your feelings about sex and let her decide what she wants to do. Link to post Share on other sites
sanremi52890 Posted January 25, 2013 Share Posted January 25, 2013 Yeah, make sure you talk to her about it frankly.... It sounds like you're pretty sure you're actually asexual, right? As in you would not be interested in sex with most people or with anyone? Make sure she understands that, because if you say "I'm just not very interested in sex", she migh take it personally. Make sure she knows it's not personal about her, it's literally your sexual orientation. Also, don't try to sugar-coat it or anything, I would suggest just being very straight-forward from the beginning. A lot of sexuals think that asexuality can wax and wane (probably because sexuality waxes and wanes) and maybe it can, but if you really don't think you'll ever be interested in her sexually (as your post would indicate), make sure she understands that. I'm sure you're afraid of her reaction, but you might find her to be more understanding and compromising than you would expect. I'm sure she'll be grateful that you were open with her. If she's perceptive, she might have picked up on it already, and is waiting for you to tell her and wondering why you haven't told her yet. You could always stay good friends with her, or cuddle-friends, or try something like an open relationship. There are other options besides just a typical relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
littlemiss91 Posted January 27, 2013 Share Posted January 27, 2013 talk openly. Maybe you can find a way to work it out. There are many ways to have a relationship. if your comfortable consider opening the relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
Touchofinsight Posted February 2, 2013 Share Posted February 2, 2013 I recommend to be honest about your feelings about sex and let her decide what she wants to do. The only way the relationship is going to work out is if you talk about the conflicting issue. Tell her your feelings on getting back together and on sex in the perspective relationship and see where it goes from there. Link to post Share on other sites
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