Lassa Posted August 23, 2012 Share Posted August 23, 2012 I am an asexual lesbian and I do want to settle down with the right girl. I don't mind if she isn't asexual as long as she respects that I am. Recently I ahve been giving thought to online dating, but I am not sure how to go about telling people I am asexual. I don't want it to scare someone off if they don't even understand what it means so I'm no0t too sure about just putting it in my profile. If I don't put it in my profile then that means I have to tell everyone I think I want to get to know better. If I do that, how do I approach the subject? Or do you think it's best just to put it out there? Link to post Share on other sites
significantlysilent Posted August 23, 2012 Share Posted August 23, 2012 For me personally, I would say to get to know the person first so--as you said--it woudln't scare them off. If you are talking to someone and get to know them well, and think you want to continue that relationship, then go ahead and tell them. Just tell them when you feel the time and conversation are right. That is just from my perspective on things though, go with your gut feeling on this in the end. Ask yourself what you more comfortable with doing, and go with that answer. Good luck all the same, and best wishes lovely. xx Link to post Share on other sites
MadRat Posted August 23, 2012 Share Posted August 23, 2012 I don't want it to scare someone off if they don't even understand what it means so I'm no0t too sure about just putting it in my profile. You could put it in your profile and put there a link to AVEN wiki definition of asexuality too, so people could understand it. I think your potential partner should know you´re ace - the sooner they will find out, the better, because when you wait for some time with telling them you´re asexual they take it as leading them on. Link to post Share on other sites
Touchofinsight Posted August 23, 2012 Share Posted August 23, 2012 I don't want it to scare someone off if they don't even understand what it means so I'm no0t too sure about just putting it in my profile. You could put it in your profile and put there a link to AVEN wiki definition of asexuality too, so people could understand it. I think your potential partner should know you´re ace - the sooner they will find out, the better, because when you wait for some time with telling them you´re asexual they take it as leading them on. This, but if you don't feel comfortable putting it on your profile then I believe you should bring it up when the discussions naturally come to the sex subject. Trust me it happens more often then you'd believe. Link to post Share on other sites
Lassa Posted August 24, 2012 Author Share Posted August 24, 2012 Thank you very much guys. :) Link to post Share on other sites
Wobot Posted August 25, 2012 Share Posted August 25, 2012 For me, I wrote that I'm asexual directly on my profile and explained it a bit. I figure it's best to be upfront and honest about it. If you aren't comfortable with having that information open to the public, I'd just wait until it came up naturally in a conversation. And if it doesn't, then you might want to bring it up before things get too serious. Link to post Share on other sites
Kallan Posted August 25, 2012 Share Posted August 25, 2012 In romantic endeavors I usually bring it up on the second or third date. Time to get to know eachother, but not so much that there's any sort of commitment. Link to post Share on other sites
robintamblyn Posted August 25, 2012 Share Posted August 25, 2012 I've stated that I'm asexual, don't want children and am looking for a romantic relationship on my Plenty of Fish profile...and I still get messaged by guys who want kids and are clearly looking for something physical... Link to post Share on other sites
LifeDontAnimate Posted August 26, 2012 Share Posted August 26, 2012 Why not try an asexual dating website such as acebook. You wont have the awkwardness and are more likely to feel happier with someone who you know wouldn't expect things from you at one point of your relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
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