michaeld Posted October 31, 2011 Share Posted October 31, 2011 This week's Post of the Week is by... Olivier! About time too! Here is the post. Advice for you: you may be measuring your performance by the wrong yardstick. Don't measure yourself by how skilful you are. Don't measure yourself by how not-awkward you are. And don't measure yourself against some pre-conceived ideal. If you must measure yourself, measure yourself by how relaxed you are. Because that's what's going to work. See how well you can go into sex thinking "If I can just let go and not worry about how it's all going, my girlfriend will think it's going great." Because if you relax, she will. Right now, relaxed is way more important than great moves, or being ultra-smooth-and-not-at-all-clumsy. And advice for your girlfriend: it wouldn't be a bad idea for her to spend some time de-pressurising the situation, even to an exaggerated degree. She should reassure you that if you're fooling around, then she's really not going to judge how it pans out. If you just cuddle, that's ok, and she loves you. If you end up having sex, that's ok, and she loves you. If you get all self-conscious, totally lose the mood, and have an "Oh damn, I totally didn't relax" freakout, that's ok and she loves you. In fact, if that happens, I suggest you both make a point of laughing at the ridiculousness of it all - maybe pre-agree that if you freak out, then that means she has to feed you ice-cream until you calm down again, or some circuit-breaker like that. :cake: Two PoTWs in a row from sexual people! I think that's a first. See also the front page. http://www.asexuality.org/ To everyone: if you have any suggestions for next week's PoTW, please PM me! For the next few weeks I'm going to be relying on PM nominations rather than asking individuals to choose PoTW. Link to post Share on other sites
HeidiUK Posted October 31, 2011 Share Posted October 31, 2011 Excellent choice, again. Link to post Share on other sites
Ace Amoeba Posted November 1, 2011 Share Posted November 1, 2011 Interesting. I've never thought the act of sex could be relaxing. I get the post-coital relaxation, but the actual doing of the sex? I've been illuminated. Link to post Share on other sites
michaeld Posted November 3, 2011 Author Share Posted November 3, 2011 To everyone: if you have any suggestions for next week's PoTW, please PM me! For the next few weeks I'm going to be relying on PM nominations rather than asking individuals to choose PoTW. No submissions yet! Please everyone! Keep a look out for good posts to go on the front page! Posts should be about asexuality in the broadest sense, and be informative and reflect well on AVEN and the asexual community. But within those constraints, anything goes! Link to post Share on other sites
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