Goodbye

[Kyuu]

I'm really sorry, but I have to go. I just can't seem to find the solution to my problem in these forums. There's just so many people in here in need of attention just like I am that it just seems selfish of me to expect some sort of guidance. Your advices were great, they really were, but I'm just too tired and disenchanted with this world to follow them. I'll be going about my business, because everything is falling apart around me and somehow, in my greatest hour of weakness, everyone is placing their bets on my strength. I did not ask for this responsability. I did not ask to be alive but I have to. And I feel so weak and depressed when I'm in here, that it just seems like I'm inflicting pain on myself deliberately.

Don't take this the wrong way, you guys were great. I'm just trying to play with the full deck right now and I seriously fear tomorrow as my family faces the possibility of having the bank take over everything we own. I'm gonna quit college and find another job so that I can help them. I realise that, if I keep working maybe I'll just forget about everything. The wonderful life, love, happyness... All replaced by a sense of duty towards my family. I will never leave their side. I love them too much to give up on them.

I saw what you guys do in here and I've never seen such a good, honest and hospitable forum in my life. But perhaps I'm not asexual. Maybe I'm something else. I'm so blinded by this pain that I've let go of my self-awareness. And maybe I should. For their sake.

Thank you for everything.

Goodbye

[Silly Green Monkey]

Good luck with everything you do, I will be thinking of you.

[Live R Perfect]

Ok then... tata! I hope you find what you are looking for

[junie99]

I hope things get better for you and your family.

[Tanasha]

Goodbye, Kyuu. I hope things get better for you.

[gypsylady]

Best wishes and luck to you Kyuu. I never thought you were taking time away from anyone else by being here. Maybe at another time you'll feel differently enough to stop in again. You will be welcomed then too.

Gypsy

[Seriously Confused]

I'm really sorry, but I have to go. I just can't seem to find the solution to my problem in these forums. There's just so many people in here in need of attention just like I am that it just seems selfish of me to expect some sort of guidance.

I have just read most of your posts due to you being the highest rated poster this year so far. You a record breaker. I thought that most distressed person in here would also be the most prolific poster.

I am what you would call a different type of asexual too. I felt frustrated in the need to try to feel like a normal male as such. Instead of feeling gender dysforic all the time. I thought maybe if I have sex I will start to feel a manliness.

I feel that your frustrated in the need, to feel a need to fit normally into society. Like you are trying desperately to be heterosexual. This in its self seems be why you could be feeling so depressed. You may not just be depressed you could be a manic/bipolar depressive. which is a mood swing disorder. Manic episodes can make you do and say silly things at times (Maybe an example: Like your trying to be Heterosexual when your really asexual). I am no expert or professional but I am asexual and a manic depressive that is on medication at the moment which helps. You really need to seek professional help as I feel that you could be heading for a nervous brake down (like I did). With all your other external pressures as well which doesen`t help matters.

Kyuu, what ever you do in life I wish you all the luck in the world.

I hope you find what your looking for,

Goodbye then from,

Seriously Confused.