Friendships

[Sibi]

I recently read a blog entry that came from the Aseuxuality twitter updates. Though I won't post the blog address because I honestly think it's a really sweet post and for some reason I don't feel right about doing it.

This post was about non-sexual intimacy and why it's so hard to understand. The post consisted of why friendships were important and all the good and positive things that came from it. As I read it my jaded little mind snuck up on me and I began to laugh. I didn't laugh at the writer but I laughed at all the crap my friends have put me through. The idea that friendships are filled with honesty and love and understanding because sex wasn't involved just was something I couldn't wrap my head around it.

Maybe non-sexual intimacy can make things a little less complicated but just for tiny bit. I think that intimacy of any kind is going to complicate the hell out of every single aspect right? It doesn't have to be sexual for a person to completely drive you up the wall then let you fall and break into little pieces. I know, I've been there.

Then the thought of the word itself (friendship) made me wonder if it was being simplified or not. Is it like having that word attached like a label but all you have to do is comment on someone's status once in a blue moon? Or is it a deep connection where no matter what you say or do they'll still care and understand you?

What are your thoughts about sexual intimacy and non-sexual intimacy? Do you think that non-sexual intimacy is just as misunderstood as the other? Do you think people just get too damn clingy?

[Crazy_Badge_lady]

removed.

[Hobbes!]

True friends are hard to come by. Companions aren't. Companions are people you can spend time with and keep you from feeling isolated, but you can only trust them so far, and ultimately the companionship won't be enough to keep you in contact when things get rough. True friends are in a different kidney. Friends are those you have a genuine connection with, one that allows trust and mutual understanding to develop. This needn't be dramatic, I'm sure many people have had this in thier lives once before.

As to complications, well, speaking as a fervent believer in the value of platonic relationships, it depends on what kind of people you are. The social contract usually demands both people give a little more in order to get a little more - trust is a great way to demonstrate that. But I don't see the complications as a bad thing. I like that someone is prepared to take the complications for the sake of me.

I honestly don't know what sexual intimacy feels like, and I honestly don't want to know either. What I do know is that for all it's rarity, non-sexual intimacy is something to be cherished. Too often are real friendships cut short - or worse, thrown aside - for the sake of a girlfriend/boyfriend/whatever. Intimate, platonic relationships are badly understood by our culture - and that, fellow AVENites, is a shame

[Shilra]

I don't think friendships die out.. I may be young, but when it comes to friends I've had and seen all the kinds there are (I'm an observer, I like to watch people) and I can say that for me, once someone is a friend, they're always a friend. I've had people I haven't seen for 7 years come over to me and when we start talking the friendship is just the same. As for the betrayals... heck, no matter what one says, I bet there's someone out there who feels I've betrayed them. No one is perfect (thank god) and call me a cynic but I believe all humans are ultimately selfish, sexual relationship, platonic relationship or no relationship. We make others happy because it makes us happy, and when we hurt them it's because we want something even more.

Companions are people you can spend time with and keep you from feeling isolated, but you can only trust them so far, and ultimately the companionship won't be enough to keep you in contact when things get rough.

My companions usually evolve into friends. Friendship, like everything else, needs to start somewhere. My closest friend started of as "the little brother of that guy in my sisters class"...