help

[Kallisti]

*edit* Having thought on it, I think I am.

[Bailey28]

Please have an honest and heartfelt talk with your girlfriend. She may not fully understand the meaning of asexuality and you have an obligation to be your authentic self with her (and her to you). I am in a marriage where my husband is asexual. This was never brought up prior to our marriage… I don't think he did this on purpose, I do not think he knew about asexuality. I simply assumed our non-sexual encounters prior to marriage were due to him being respectful of me and how I was raised. I never dreamed what it actually meant. When we got married I had an expectation of intimacy and sexuality and when it did not occur I became depressed and self destructive. It was especially confusing to me because my husband would not talk about it and I was trying to figure out what was happening and why he was not interested in having sex with me. I assumed it had something to do with me. This started me on a cycle of downward spiral. In all other ways my husband and I have a wonderful marriage. We choose to be together and we enjoy each others company. But I am a sexual person and it is almost impossible for me to not have these feelings and desires and to not feel rejected and not loved when I do not experience sexual closeness. DO NOT ASSUME your girlfriend knows the full meaning of you being asexual. In my opinion, this would be no different then a gay or lesbian person not telling a heterosexual partner of their sexual orientation. You may find that your girlfriend will still be willing to life partner with you but you must allow her to be fully informed. Please do not set her life on a course that will bring her the heartache and self doubt that I have lived with. You are making the right step by even asking this question and I wish you the best.