freckles Posted August 7, 2010 Share Posted August 7, 2010 (Pretty long, I know. The last two paragraphs are the important part.) This is fantastic to know there are other people out there who feel the same way as me! Sure, only one out of a hundred, but I must interact with at least that many people on an average day. I'm in the just GREAT postion of being a romantic asexual (I honestly hate all these names for things; I only understand about half of them). I always figured myself as part of society's "norm": a girl born a girl who identifies as a girl and who likes boys. The only difference I saw was that I don't want to have sex. For about one or two years I was in a panic, thinking I'd have to do it one day anyway because "it's what everyone does," and then one day I decided that, no matter what, I'd never do it. Even if I die alone, which I'm trying to believe won't be the case. A couple months later I poked around the internet, and, after finding out and learning about asexuality, I realize there may be hope for me yet! Now that I know about it, and know only about 1% of people on the planet share it, I honestly want to talk about it with as many people as I can. I'm ready to "come out" (it even feels weird calling it that! I wish people wouldn't assume things!) but I haven't found the occassion for it. I'm terrified of someone saying they don't think it's real. It would be like them telling me I'm not real. I'm having a hard enough time believing I'll find asexual love; someone telling me I'm not even real is not going to help. That's why I want to talk about it; the more people hear about it, the less likely they are to accuse someone of not being real. But I'm nervous. I want to ask everyone: how do I gracefully come out? I watched a video of David Jay's and am planning on following his advice to 1) associate myself with the queer community, even though I'm a "straight asexual," and 2) emphasize that I still have emotions, needs, that I still want love, etc. So how do I come out in a non-abrupt way, in a graceful way, and a quick way! I want to start telling people! Link to post Share on other sites
Electric Barbarella Posted August 7, 2010 Share Posted August 7, 2010 Welcome to AVEN, freckles! While I cannot offer any piece of advice on coming out, as I have no experience on that (unless you count me telling my mom I was bi, and that was before I figured out my asexuality), here's some for you! =D Hopefully others will have some tips to share! Link to post Share on other sites
Ian85 Posted August 8, 2010 Share Posted August 8, 2010 Hi! Welcome to the forum! I hope it helps you find exactly what you're looking for :-) Link to post Share on other sites
The Doctor Who? Posted August 8, 2010 Share Posted August 8, 2010 I wish is could help you with the coming out bit! Haha, I've only told one friend who happened to be asexual too! ^_^ Welcome to AVEN, here's some ! I'm a newbie too, btw. x Link to post Share on other sites
Trolley Girl Posted August 8, 2010 Share Posted August 8, 2010 Well, I could suggest that you take the same path I've been taking for a while now. No guarantee that it will work, but definitely worth it. I have been taking my time coming out. I do this by sitting down my family members and my close friends one at a time, and carefully and clearly explain my situation. The first thing I say to them is to listen to me carefully so that they can take in every word. This has worked for me so far. I wouldn't try it with anyone too conservative, i.e. devout Catholics, Christians, Military Veterans, etc. Please do try it, and let me know how it goes over time. BUT trust only those people whom you know for a FACT you can trust. 8) Link to post Share on other sites
freckles Posted August 9, 2010 Author Share Posted August 9, 2010 Thank you for the welcome and all the advice you guys! And the cake. Oh, I'm so stuffed >.< Okay. I know who I'm going to tell first - a close friend of mine. I'm lucky to have plenty of understanding friends and family, so that's not too big a problem. Problem is, it's summer and I CAN'T GET IN CONTACT WITH MY FRIENDS YET. Grr frustration. I don't know about the slow-and-clear-sit-em-down approach. I'm really shy and I don't like talking about myself too much. Plus I want to make it clear that I don't think it's a big deal that I'm asexual, and no one else should think it's a big deal. I would prefer to just let it drop in converstaion. Oh my gosh, I've imagined it in my head a dozen times. Okay! I guess once school starts I'll actually have stories to share! Thank you for listening, guys! <3 Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.