Two asexual people in a relationship?

[iamanopendoor]

I'm a sexual girl and I was just wondering what it's like when two romantic asexuals are in a romantic relationship together. In my mind it seems like it would be one of those perfect fairy tale things. You know like the Disney movie stuff haha. It seems like in a relationship between two romantic asexuals there would be a lot more...love I guess...since it wouldn't all be about sex. It just seems really...romantic. Sorry if that doesn't make a lot of sense, but do you kind of get what I'm trying to say?

[Jazmin]

Yep, I get what you're saying, it makes perfect sense :) Actually, come to think of it, I quite like the idea of those Disney-type relationships haha...but that's probably a bit too idealistic for reality. In reality, an asexual-asexual romantic relationship, I think, would be pretty much like any other romantic relationship, just without the sex part. So they'd still do other stuff that normal couples do - express affection, go on walks together, do activities that both like, and just enjoy the other person's company, etc. For me, that's the ideal kind of romantic relationship I'd like to have.

Although, I don't know whether there'd necessarily be "more" love in an asexual-asexual relationship than in a relationship between sexuals. Love is a difficult thing to quantify, and there are many different (infinite, you could almost say) ways of expressing it. Sexuals might express their romantic love sexually (as well as in other ways), whilst most asexuals don't express it sexually and instead focus on the other ways...but in both situations there still is an amount of love involved...hard to say which amount is more though :)

Oh, and welcome to AVEN, by the way. Nearly forgot with all my rambling. Have some cake

[Guest (?)]

Unfortuneatly this is the golden chalice but with blinkers on

Some assume that if two Asexuals get together as a couple it will work brilliantly. True the biggest stumbling block of any Asexual is the ability to find a partner who doesn't want sex of for many of us this may seem as unlikely as finding an honest politician but lets say you have found another Asexual to have a partnership/relationship with.

The next step is exactly the same as Sexuals..compatability. Being both Asexuals is not enough and being compatable must be the case or the only connection is no sex.

Does one smoke the other doesn't, is one a people person the other a recluse, does one fart and belch all the time and the other one not...you get my drift

just both being Asexual is a very good start but it does not guaranty a working relationship

[squiggle]

Yes, being compatible is very important.

Imagine old people who're married, but constantly bicker with each other. If you're not compatible that could happen. Either that or you could end up splitting up.

I wish relationships were like Disney ones - but rarely that's the case!

[Cirdan]

Being an asexual in a relationship (incidentally my first ever relationship) with another asexual, I'd have to say it's not a perfect fairy tale! I don't think many relationships could be, life is just too complicated for that. In general:

We enjoy each others company - that's the main point!

Go out to pub with friends

Have meals out.

Visit museums and attractions

Go on walks

Watch dvd's and tv.

Send each other emails and phone when we're apart (long distance so this is a fair bit of the time).

To me, as you say, it's basically like any other relationship only without the sex (although I have difficulties imagining other people actually having sex...). We care for each other and show it, we miss each other when we're apart and say it, and we make the most of the time we have together.

Yes finding another asexual is maybe the easiest part, finding a compatible asexual is more difficult, but AVEN helps there! (we met at an AVEN meetup :) )

[Hayley]

I'm in asexual-asexual relationship. I'd have to say, it isn't all flowers and bunnies, but then very few relationships are. Couples fight eventually.

All-in-all I'm very happy, but I don't think that really has anything to do with the fact that we're both asexual. Sure, it's nice that she doesn't care about sex, but we both have drives and can enjoy sex so our relationship isn't entirely asexual in nature anyway. It's good in the sense that if one of us isn't in the mood the other couldn't care less though.

I would say, aside from occasionally attending AVEN meets together, it's not all that different from relationships I've had with sexuals in the past!