BabySquare Posted January 15, 2009 Share Posted January 15, 2009 i know this topic has been done 1,000 times here. but this one isn't one of thsoe "do i tell them" threads, it's a bit different. for all the asexual virgin/non virgin ladies here, what have been your experiences of the gyno? have you been? did you tell them about being asexual or being if virgin (if it applies)? and what was their reaction? i'm getting to the age where they're gonna be sending me letters soon and i intend to flat out refuse the see one my mother told me that if they are tying to force a procedure on me that i don't want i am quite within my rights to threaten them with contact to the british medical association, at least she supports me Link to post Share on other sites
you*hear*but*do*you*listen Posted January 15, 2009 Share Posted January 15, 2009 I went for the first time this morning. I told my gyno that I was uncomfortable with the idea of having an internal exam, but she told me it was probably just first-time jitters. My gyno was very nice and made the exam as quick as possible, but I still hated having someone other than me touch myself there. I'll probably ask for some kind of external exam next time. It sucked, but it wasn't torture. And if I do end up having another internal exam next year, it probably won't be as bad because I'll know what to expect. My gyno seemed completely unsurprised that I was a virgin; at least, she didn't pester me about it or anything. The topic of my asexuality didn't come up. Link to post Share on other sites
Preskom Posted January 15, 2009 Share Posted January 15, 2009 21,virgin, nerver been. If someone is not sexually active and doesn't any any problems down there I don't see why they should go. My aunt, 52, was sexual but never been pregnant or had any troubles, now in her menaupose, never been and no one seems to care. In your country the gynos send letters to people?!? wierd. It's like going to the dentist: they say we should go every 6 months, they do call people every year (I personally do go), but if you don't have any problems there is no need to... That's my point of view, I could be wrong. Link to post Share on other sites
BabySquare Posted January 15, 2009 Author Share Posted January 15, 2009 21,virgin, nerver been.If someone is not sexually active and doesn't any any problems down there I don't see why they should go. My aunt, 52, was sexual but never been pregnant or had any troubles, now in her menaupose, never been and no one seems to care. In your country the gynos send letters to people?!? wierd. It's like going to the dentist: they say we should go every 6 months, they do call people every year (I personally do go), but if you don't have any problems there is no need to... That's my point of view, I could be wrong. what country are you in? if they don't send you letters i want to emigrate lol. yes they send letters, lots of letters and sometimes if you refuse a procedure that you don't need, they withhold medication that you do need. Link to post Share on other sites
merkat82 Posted January 15, 2009 Share Posted January 15, 2009 what country are you in? if they don't send you letters i want to emigrate lol.yes they send letters, lots of letters and sometimes if you refuse a procedure that you don't need, they withhold medication that you do need. This just sounds oh-soo sooo sooooo wrooonnngggg, like a human rights violation. But then again I'm in the U.S. where if you don't have the exam, they still want to give you meds because someone will make money off of you. :P Link to post Share on other sites
metalgirl2045 Posted January 15, 2009 Share Posted January 15, 2009 23, no doctor has ever pestered me to go to a gyno. My doctor is only aware of my likely non-virginty because I brought up birth control, I've never been asked. I don't think they send out letters. The only procedures I've had letters telling me I should have done were vaccinations. This was a big problem due to an injection phobia and they were very sympathetic and arranged for me to see a child psychologist for a couple of months before trying to have it done. Although I suppose a subtle difference there was that the phobia was problem I enthusiastically agreed needed to be fixed, had I not agreed to the therapy I don't know how hard they would have forced it on me, and I was 15 so I would have had less right to say no. Edit: Just read the posts between me reading the thread and replying, I'm in the UK. It seems things are less corrupt here where it's all taxpayer funded (unless you choose to pay for a premium service) rather than commercial, no-one tries to force unecessary procedures on patients for financial reasons. Although I believe it occasionally happens to avoid a remote risk of getting sued. Link to post Share on other sites
BabySquare Posted January 15, 2009 Author Share Posted January 15, 2009 23, no doctor has ever pestered me to go to a gyno. My doctor is only aware of my likely non-virginty because I brought up birth control, I've never been asked. I don't think they send out letters.The only procedures I've had letters telling me I should have done were vaccinations. This was a big problem due to an injection phobia and they were very sympathetic and arranged for me to see a child psychologist for a couple of months before trying to have it done. Although I suppose a subtle difference there was that the phobia was problem I enthusiastically agreed needed to be fixed, had I not agreed to the therapy I don't know how hard they would have forced it on me, and I was 15 so I would have had less right to say no. Edit: Just read the posts between me reading the thread and replying, I'm in the UK. It seems things are less corrupt here where it's all taxpayer funded (unless you choose to pay for a premium service) rather than commercial, no-one tries to force unecessary procedures on patients for financial reasons. Although I believe it occasionally happens to avoid a remote risk of getting sued. i'm in the uk too and i think our service is awful. yeah they withold medication. for a while, for no reason than to be annoying, the decided to withold my father's asthma medication (which he, like myself, is dependant on to stay alive) until he went to see the asthma nurse for a review, which he'd just had and didn't need another one, and it was at a time when he HAD to be at work, because he also has a bad back and if he lost anymore work would be fired and end up bankrupt. Link to post Share on other sites
metalgirl2045 Posted January 15, 2009 Share Posted January 15, 2009 Oh, I'd never heard of anyone else in the UK having medication withheld! The service is rather awful but still sounds a lot better than America where it seems if you're not very rich or have health insurance paid by an employer you have to choose between poverty or death. Link to post Share on other sites
you*hear*but*do*you*listen Posted January 15, 2009 Share Posted January 15, 2009 what country are you in? if they don't send you letters i want to emigrate lol.yes they send letters, lots of letters and sometimes if you refuse a procedure that you don't need, they withhold medication that you do need. This just sounds oh-soo sooo sooooo wrooonnngggg, like a human rights violation. But then again I'm in the U.S. where if you don't have the exam, they still want to give you meds because someone will make money off of you. :P God bless the USA. *one-fingered salute* Link to post Share on other sites
knoxroxmysox Posted January 15, 2009 Share Posted January 15, 2009 I'm 18 and I've been to the gyno multiple times. I think of it like going to the dentist- it's a bit tedious, and a bit unpleasant, but it's for my health. And I've never been traumatized by the experience. I don't think it's necessary to tell them you're asexual (it's really irrelevant to what they do- unless you're worried and want your hormones checked or something). They'll definitely ask you if you're sexually active. You don't technically need to tell them if you're a virgin, but it can make things easier. You don't have to test for something if you know it's not there. Of course, they might find out on their own if they do a full exam. And if you're REALLY REALLY REALLY uncomfortable with the thought of an invasive test, there are usually alternatives. My first time to a gyno, they were worried that I was overly nervous (I wasn't, but I wasn't thrilled about the thought of an exam, either), so they gave me a non-invasive ultrasound instead of a pelvic exam. I had to wait a little longer (and drink a ton of water), but I guess it was better than an exam. And last time I went, they wanted to do a pelvic exam, but I was bleeding, and a virgin, so they decided it wasn't that important. Link to post Share on other sites
metalgirl2045 Posted January 15, 2009 Share Posted January 15, 2009 Why do you need an exam so badly if you're under 18 and not sexually active? I think people would have asked far more awkward questions if I'd asked for one than they would if I ducked out of one now! Link to post Share on other sites
WakingDreamer Posted January 16, 2009 Share Posted January 16, 2009 I've been to the gyno a couple of times... once for an "invasive" checkup due to my mother's insistence (*Sighs and rolls her eyes*) and once because I was requesting birth pills (again, due to my mother's insistence... the woman is ridiculous sometimes). The invasive one was... less than pleasant. I didn't want to be there, and despite my doctor's understanding and gentleness I still started to cry as soon as it was over. The second one was mildly embarrassing, but the doctor was again understanding, and agreed to just look and not shove anything in there. On the plus side, my sexuality never comes up during these sorts of things. All they do is ask if you're sexually active. You just say "no", and they'll move right along. :) So if nothing else, you don't need to worry about that. Link to post Share on other sites
Jean Grey Posted January 16, 2009 Share Posted January 16, 2009 My "first time" was with three doctors and a nurse in the room. It was so surreal that it didn't feel embarrassing at all. Just imagine three doctors staring "down there" at the same time. My advice would be: just go at some point. Don't let this blow itself all out of proportion, it's not nearly as horrible as you think. Being a woman, you have to go at some point anyway (there's definitely going to be a cancer scare or something of an equally unpleasant nature at some point), and you wouldn't want to be 35 and go for the first time. You can't expect to have as much fun there as I had :P , but it's still no big deal. And yes, you have to tell them you've never had sex, because if you don't, they'll use the wrong instruments on you (apparently they come in several sizes!). Sucks, but oh well. Say it with confidence, and to hell with them! Link to post Share on other sites
Asterion Orestes Posted January 16, 2009 Share Posted January 16, 2009 The service is rather awful but still sounds a lot better than America where it seems if you're not very rich or have health insurance paid by an employer you have to choose between poverty or death. What a load of Bolshevik. God bless the USA. *one-fingered salute* Pox vobiscum. Link to post Share on other sites
Amphioxus Posted January 16, 2009 Share Posted January 16, 2009 I'm 21 and I've only been to a gyno once, last year. She was really friendly and nice, and it seemingly didn't surprise her at all that I hadn't had sex. She just reminded me to use protection when I get to that. It was a very short conversation. Also, I didn't think it was that uncomfortable. It was so much worse when I had a tooth pulled out! Link to post Share on other sites
Retasha Posted January 16, 2009 Share Posted January 16, 2009 I went for the first time a few years ago, and again this past summer. I had the full exam the first time ( I was about 21? I think), and oh, man, was it painful. Luckily the doctor was very nice and understanding about the whole still a virgin and asexual thing. The recent one was entertaining. This doc checked my age and launched into the whole 'safe sex, STD's, blah blah blah' talk, but I could quote the medical jargon about all that more then she could and did so (hurray, boring college class memorizations!), and then told her about being asexual. Ha ha, we talked about it for two hours. Apparently, she'd never met anyone my age who didn't go at it like rabbits and she was really cool to talk to about asexuality, Aven and all that. And lucky me, I was told I won't need another exam unless I get sexually active or such. It's probably a good idea to get checked at least once in your life. More if you have family risks for the various cancers. I'm told it's not as painful for most people. Mine was bad because my uterus and junk is in odd positions. Link to post Share on other sites
Werekitten Posted January 16, 2009 Share Posted January 16, 2009 If you've never had sex then going to the doctors for a smear isn't urgent as the main reason for it is to test for is signs of cervical cancer - something you only have to worry about if you're sexually active. This is the reason I'm never going to have sex just for curiositys sake :P Link to post Share on other sites
geekgirl Posted January 16, 2009 Share Posted January 16, 2009 I've never been. I'm 27 and never been sexually active. They've been sending me letters since I turned 21, which I have been storing in my room on the assumption that one day I would finally pluck up the courage to call and make the appointment. Then the other week I went to the doctor's for something else and she said to me "According to this," pointing at her computer screen, "you've never had a smear." "Er..." I looked a bit embarassed at my own general uselessness and prepared to be told to book one as I left, "Er...no..." "Okay. Have you ever had a sexual partner?" "No," "Never?" I shook my head. "Okay, well that's fine. That's not appropriate then." And that was that. Which is good. Though people online seem to say you need one anyway, but surely if the doctor says I don't that's okay. On the literature they send you with the letters, there is one part that says to speak to a doctor if you have never had sex with a man, so do that and see what they say... Link to post Share on other sites
knoxroxmysox Posted January 16, 2009 Share Posted January 16, 2009 If you've never had sex then going to the doctors for a smear isn't urgent as the main reason for it is to test for is signs of cervical cancer - something you only have to worry about if you're sexually active. This is the reason I'm never going to have sex just for curiositys sake :P That's not really true. You can get cervical cancer whether you're sexually active or not. It's more likely if you're sexually active (and there are some STIs that can cause it), but you can get it regardless. I'd suggest going at least every couple of years, if not every year, just to make sure you don't have any signs of cancer or disease. But that can probably wait until you're a little older. I've heard people say 21 or 25. Regardless of sexual activity. Link to post Share on other sites
cait Posted January 16, 2009 Share Posted January 16, 2009 Yeah, doesn't matter if your sexually active or not. Yes, you can get HPV through sexual transmission which causes cancer, but that's not the only thing that causes cancer. You can get it without ever having sex, and the sooner you know the better. A lot of people die of cervical cancer. You should get checked. My only qualms with the exam is that they keep changing how often you should go like every few months. The first time I went they said you go once a year for the first two years, then once every two years after that. But last time I went they said they changed it. I think that you're supposed to go every six months. But ... pffft. I'll be waiting a year or two because I have to go pretty far out of my way to get to my gyno. I dunno. It's extreme. They have never asked me if I was a virgin or not. They may ask you if you're sexually active. But they don't say "have you lost your virginity?" or anything like that. And if they did, I'm sure they wouldn't judge you about it. I would bet everything about the exam/opinions/when you should go/how often you should go/why you should go changes regionally. I'm another Canadian. Personally I'm very happy with our health care in contrast with other countries. We're pretty lucky, so I guess it's good to take advantage of how important they consider such exams here. Man, I'm glad I don't live in the US. Their health care system is effed. The UK sounds odd as well! People complain about our taxes, especially in the maritimes, but man, it's worth it. Link to post Share on other sites
metalgirl2045 Posted January 17, 2009 Share Posted January 17, 2009 Maybe whether or not you get letter depends on where you live, if they sent me any since I turned 21 they've got lost in the post :P You can get cervical cancer without being sexually active, but having a smear test in case you have it when you're at much lower risk than most people doesn't to me seem to have any more medical justification than randomly having an MRI scan in case you've got a brain tumour you don't know about. The only reason I can think why the first would be done more often is cost (pity as I'd love to have a random pointless MRI scan!). Link to post Share on other sites
martianJusticiar Posted January 17, 2009 Share Posted January 17, 2009 ...if you refuse a procedure that you don't need, they withhold medication that you do need. Hmmm.... forcing a person to let someone touch their private parts by threatening their well being if they don't... isn't that the definition of, I don't know, rape? But yeah. I got forced through such procedures several times in emergency rooms (thankfully, they've always opted for ultrasounds instead at my family gynecologist). The first couple times were pure freaking torture. I'm serious. I cried and screamed. I've been through a lot of weird, unpleasant medical shit in my life, sometimes without even flinching, but I cried and screamed when they did that. Those two-minute or so exams hurt more than recovery from brain surgery. Then the last time I ended up in the hospital, they were about to do another pelvic exam and the doctor said it was unnecessary since I wasn't sexually active. GAAAH. Why didn't the first doctor say that and spare me the pain and discomfort of something they weren't even supposed to be doing?! Now that I know I can tell them no, and that they're not even supposed to be doing these exams on me, I'm never letting anyone touch me down there again unless not doing so would most definitely mean death. >:C Link to post Share on other sites
Werekitten Posted January 19, 2009 Share Posted January 19, 2009 Damn, I've been lied to by :/ Link to post Share on other sites
you*hear*but*do*you*listen Posted January 19, 2009 Share Posted January 19, 2009 ...if you refuse a procedure that you don't need, they withhold medication that you do need. Hmmm.... forcing a person to let someone touch their private parts by threatening their well being if they don't... isn't that the definition of, I don't know, rape? But yeah. I got forced through such procedures several times in emergency rooms (thankfully, they've always opted for ultrasounds instead at my family gynecologist). The first couple times were pure freaking torture. I'm serious. I cried and screamed. I've been through a lot of weird, unpleasant medical shit in my life, sometimes without even flinching, but I cried and screamed when they did that. Those two-minute or so exams hurt more than recovery from brain surgery. Then the last time I ended up in the hospital, they were about to do another pelvic exam and the doctor said it was unnecessary since I wasn't sexually active. GAAAH. Why didn't the first doctor say that and spare me the pain and discomfort of something they weren't even supposed to be doing?! Now that I know I can tell them no, and that they're not even supposed to be doing these exams on me, I'm never letting anyone touch me down there again unless not doing so would most definitely mean death. >:C *hug* *hug* *hug* Shit, I only cried a little bit after my first pelvic exam. I'm sorry you had to go through that :( Link to post Share on other sites
martianJusticiar Posted January 19, 2009 Share Posted January 19, 2009 *hug* *hug* *hug* Shit, I only cried a little bit after my first pelvic exam. I'm sorry you had to go through that :( Now at least I have a valid reason not to let anyone pull that invasive shit on me again. It just annoys me when I hear that it's in one way or another forced on people, especially after what I was told, both at that hospital and by other people later as well. That's just wrong on so many levels. I hope you don't have to go through that again either. D: *Noms on cake* Delicious cake... a good distraction from thinking about unpleasant medical procedures. :D Link to post Share on other sites
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