Sport Posted December 22, 2008 Share Posted December 22, 2008 I guess you could say that I found out about asexuality for the most part by accident last year on yahoo answers when I was answering questions in the GLBT section. the reason i was in that section was because I thaught I may have been lesbian or bisexual, but I wasn't quite sure. One question on there was about a boy my age asking what it meant to be asexual and somebody gave him a link to this website. When I first came here, it seemed strange at first, but in a way I already knew about asexuality and what it was about because it was basically the summary of my life, so I was relieved more than anything to be reading stories of people just like me over and over again. Back in elementary school, I remember being attracted to guys in the same way all of my friends were and at the same time, but I still felt like i was different. While they were talking about how "cute" their crush was I was always thinking about what a great guy mine was, or how nice his voice was, or how alike we were. I also felt so deeply emotionally attracted to my crush that I didn't tell anybody else because I was afraid they wouldn't understand. that crush lasted a good 4 years and when it was over I didn't really feel much attraction to anybody at all. In the begining of highschool when I finally got over my crush say grade 8 or 9, I realized just how different I was from my friends, they were always talking about guys, abbs, and increasingly subtle things about sex. I did not feel this way at all, but they all asured me that I just wasn't mature enough yet. latter on into grade 10 and 11 as they talked about guys more and more both emotionally and sexually, i told them I did not understand the sex part, but they also took it as if I didn't understand the emotional part. this bothered me and I tried to explain it to them but they didn't believe me and either thaught I was lying or not mature yet. around the same time, I found myself falling ever more deeply in love emotionally with a girl on my soccer team who was so similar to me it was eerie. she (I believe) identifies mostly as lesbian, but generally avoids titles. I didn't want my friends to know because even though I'm not afraid to tell them about my attraction to girls in this way, I doubt they will get it. Especially a friend of mine whho is openly gay and very sexual. he is very opinionated and will think I think of girls like he thinks of guys which is wrong. I guess that since asexuals arent really concerned with sexual organs, that who we are attracted to emotionally is more open and we are a little more open minded about same sex relationships. I guess you could say that I'm a bisexual asexual, but i try to avoid titles. thank you for taking the time to read this, and if you have the time please leave a reponce about your opinions about my story. also, it would be great if you could tell me about how i could go about dating and eventually marrying when I get older and having kids which I plan to do, or adopting if I am with a same sex partner. would you agree with what I've said, does this seem like a typical story of what an asexual is like, or do you think i;m in the wrong place? Link to post Share on other sites
notinmyskin Posted December 22, 2008 Share Posted December 22, 2008 You're in the right place. And your story is really interesting. I'm new here myself, and I've never really thought about my own high school and elementary years and how I felt in. I'm 23 now and definitely don't care much about being different, I embrace it! I have little to no advice about dating as an asexual, but from what I've read and learned here on AVEN, it can be a challenge. Hope you find all your advice here. :) Link to post Share on other sites
purissimus Posted December 22, 2008 Share Posted December 22, 2008 Welcome to AVEN Sport! ^_^ I hope you find what you're looking for as you go through the many forums here on the board. Help yourself to some :cake: :cake:!!!! Enjoy the forums. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest EGD Posted December 26, 2008 Share Posted December 26, 2008 Hi and welcome to AVEN, Sport. Yeah explaining "attraction" would be sort of hard... I think at that age. :) Um, in regards to wondering what to you can do when you get older... um, there is a dating/networking site (I think you do have to be 18 or older to register... but am not quite sure... 18 and older sort of makes sense though. It is called Acebook, and this might be a cool resource to know about. (Also stickied at the top of Asexual Relationships is a list of other ones). Besides that, I hope you enjoy it here. :cake: --EGD Link to post Share on other sites
jr1 Posted December 27, 2008 Share Posted December 27, 2008 You're in the right place. I hope you feel at home here Link to post Share on other sites
Eras Posted December 27, 2008 Share Posted December 27, 2008 Welcome to AVEN and I believe I've already bumped into you in the chat :) have some Link to post Share on other sites
Astryda Posted December 27, 2008 Share Posted December 27, 2008 Welcome to the board :) You seem to be a bi- romantic asexual to me. Most of sexual people don't understand what asexuality is, they even think it doesn't exist or if it does, it's some kind of illness or any other problem, You shouldn't care about it so much. I think AVEN is a right place for You (especially if You have noone to talk to about asexuality). Hope You will have a good time here, enjoy the forums :) Cheers :) Link to post Share on other sites
ryan10242 Posted December 28, 2008 Share Posted December 28, 2008 Hi Sport, It's great to see you here, it sounds like you're in the right place! As for dating etc, I'm not sure, but you could head over to the Asexual Relationships forum, they might be able to give you better advice on those matters. Welcome to AVEN, have some and I hope you find what you're looking for! Link to post Share on other sites
Gho St Ory Qwan Posted December 28, 2008 Share Posted December 28, 2008 Hey there, I'm also new and I think I noticed I was different to other girls. But mine started in a different way. I never liked playing with baby dolls, as I thought it was stupid to want to be a mom when you're a child yourself. I never had that 'maternal instinct' that girls and women always are supposed to have, which I put down to my parenting, as I had fairly distant parents, whom I never really bonded with, not like I was nelgected, but I was looked after by many Nannies and such, rather than both parents. I also never want to have kids, child birth is horrible! :o But I wouldn't mind having a family of my own, but giving birth definatly wasn't meant to be for me. But my sisters are different, and even the one who used to 'hate' kids now is all into being a mom, besides me. Then there was the whole putting on makeup thing, and having big boobs, being skinny and getting boyfriends. Along with the unsaid motive of having sex at the end of it. None of those appealed to me. But now at 17, the more people talk about sex the more it bothers me. It seems very wrong to me personally, and when people say I'll have sex with the person I really love, even if I don't want to I really think there is something wrong with them. I mean I shouldn't be expected to do that, and I never would marry a guy who thinks that way. A couple of my friends know, but they don't think it's a big deal, but they don't understand it so it's hard to talk about it seriously. I used to think I had a gender identity issue but I don't care about being in either a males or females body, to be honest. I am attracted to men, and don't like to think I'm gay, so I don't think I'm in the 'wrong body' as it were, but really, that kind of feeling only occurs when a person wants to have sex a certain way with a certain gender (ie homo or hetro kinda sex), but as for me, sex seems disgusting. :/ I don't like girls in the same way but it is pretty similar how I see girls. I can only explain my views on sex with straight people in this way; (To a male) 'Would you like to have sex with a guy?' They respond with horror and say no. 'That's how I feel about having sex with guys. And girls. It's no different for me.' I'm not sure how or why I prefer one sex over the other though. :/ Thanks for letting me share my story, lol if that's what it was. It's kinda hard for us to understand eachother because even though we're asexual, we're still pretty different. :) But it's cool. I like meeting different people and I want to understand asexuality more. :) Qwan Link to post Share on other sites
Amcan Posted January 4, 2009 Share Posted January 4, 2009 Hi nad welcome. Have some more Enjoy AVEN. Link to post Share on other sites
vanillakitty Posted January 4, 2009 Share Posted January 4, 2009 Omg! Omg! Almost EXACTLY the same thing with me! I found out about asexuality the exact same way you did, looking at GLB stuff on the internet because I was wondering if I was bi or lesbian due to my indifference towards sex. And same thing, all throughout elementary school my friend and I had this HUGE crush on this one guy (who I still KIND of like today), but as you said I only felt romantic attraction towards him, the thought of sex or even kissing for that matter didn't occur to me back then. But then in middle and high school my friends, like yours, started deviating more towards noticing sexual attributes on guys and blah blah BLECH, I started to panic because sex has always utterly disgusted me. And i get really disturbed when I find out somebody is having sexual fantasies about me *shudders* it's horrible. Sex = pure nasty in my eyes. I don't know if I'm a bi-romantic or not, but as of right now, I'm pretty sure I'm asexual. I'm also 16 years old =) Welcome! I'm really new too! Have cake!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Zerick Posted January 8, 2009 Share Posted January 8, 2009 Welcome to AVEN Sport and VanillaKitty! Enjoy more cake :cake: and no you are not in the wrong place. Everyone is welcome here. Link to post Share on other sites
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