Asexual Activism/Queer Rights

[Coleslaw]

I agree. I'm not really "proud" or "ashamed" of my asexuality, it is just the way I am. I don't see a need to come out to everyone and their dog. I do think, though, that the way I am is the best way to be for me.

I agree with this, to an extent. I'm not proud, nor ashamed, of who I am, and I don't really care who knows. I did see a need to come out, because by being "out" as asexual, I was being honest with friends and those people I have relationships with. However, some people have said things about asexuality that can, and sometimes does, make me feel guilty and ashamed, which isn't what I want for anyone else growing up as asexual. I'm not quick to jump on to the LGBTA bandwagon, because, yes, we're fighting for a different kind of right, I still don't see the harm in members of the LGBT community inviting us to be apart of their larger queer community.

So, to me, visibility generated in any way is great for asexuals, because we do have things to fight for. They may not be the same things the LGBT community fights for, but to say we have nothing to fight for isn't entirely accurate either. And I welcome any allies to our fight, just as most of us would be happy to ally with and support the LGBT community.

[queerunity]

thanks Dani, you made me smile and its 8:30 AM =)

I agree Queer Pride is about being who you are. Asexuality is different from gay/les issues and of course coming out must be seen in a totally different light. For gays/lesbians coming out is a huge deal because being gay often affects your social, romantic, political life, and can often be financially and physically dangerous. Coming out as asexual is important more as a way to educate others and so people don't bug you. It also is important if you wish to pursue some sort of romantic life. Aside from that though coming out as Asexual is a different process. So is coming out as trans or intersexual or queer or what have you. Each of these communities has different struggles/issues but nonetheless we are all struggling against the heterosexual male/female "norm".

[Seien Hananosei]

Thank you for the invite. I'll have a look in a bit, I'm just heading out the door shortly. As is said, more of what we need is visibility but we're a diverse community so there could very well be (actually, I know there ARE) some asexuals who feel we need more activism and to defend our 'rights'. (I don't feel our 'rights' are as trampled on as our gay brothers and sisters.) I'll have a look though, thank you.

I don't think our rights are in danger, but we're definitely socially ostracized. People are shocked to hear you're not interested in men or women, and that does lead them to assume things about you, or judge you, or simply think that sort of thing doesn't exist. For asexuality, I think it's not so much defending our rights as becoming acknowledged. Most people can't deny homosexuals or bisexuals exist-- Asexuality is another thing.

[queerunity]

sei i agree with you that asexuality is not as much about defending rights but more about increasing education and awareness. the only aspect of rights that comes to mind for me is the right to be listed in sex-ed, health education books. I think kids should learn about asexuality as another sexual orientation and more research should be done on it. but its different than being gay and not having the right to marry, adopt, serve in the military, and face discrimination/violence, etc. asexuality has its own set of issues which I think are often similar to being gay such as coming out, needing more awareness and stuff like that.

[twister]

I totally agree with the fact that we need more to be done in respect of awareness and as such, that could be termed as a "right". If we could help more of the young people that are struggling the way a lot of asexuals do, that would be great. The world is certainly not dealing with this particularly well as yet. I know through personal experience that there is very little awareness where I live, making it easier not to say anything. Anything that can be done, what ever name you choose to use for the purpose is good.

[queerunity]

I think the first thing that could be done is organizing. This website is terrific and has laid the groundwork for Asexuals to unite. I see some groups are popping up across the country, which is wonderful. We need groups/organizations on a local level that can begin to work on behalf of asexual rights.

[emmarainbow]

Queerunity, I'm in full support of what you're doing. :)

Here in Wales, things have been put in motion to change the LGBT to the LGBTAQU (asexual, queer, undefined)... unfortunately it didn't pass at conference (although they did try for inclusion without tagging more letters on) but people are starting to care and to notice.

The way I see it, asexuals need support in coming to terms with their minority identity, visibility and education to make sure people realise they're there and understand them and campaigns to support our rights. (If I go to dr with my asexual 'symptoms', it'd be quite likely I'd get given pills or passed on to a psychiatrist. We're a little prejudiced against in the lgbt community too - I cannot represent mine because I'm not lgb or t, even if I had a girlfriend.) The lgbt movement does these tings for sexual and gender minorities - why not one more minority, especially since asexual people can also be in gay relationships or be transgender?

As for coming out... I see it as kind of similar to gay people doing so. Yes, it is less fraught with danger/homophobia, thank GOD, (unless, of course, you enter into a gay relationship...) and there is a lot more explanation needed, but it changes people's perceptions of you, sometimes in unfavourable ways, it takes a lot of understanding within yourself and a lot of courage to do until it becomes part of your everyday life. All of the fears and dangers a gay person has are there, just changed slightly to be less violent... usually. I have heard some horror stories. However, I've *seen* horror stories happen to gay people, whereas I just got irritating questions, mockery and verbal abuse at school, rather than proper violence. I am glad about that for me, but I want to stop those people picking on *anyone*.

I wish noone gave a damn about sexuality of any kind, or better, didn't care about gender, because then sexuality would be irrelevent... but since society pressures me to be heteronormative, I can't help but see myself faced with a decision... either I cough quietly and say 'um, yeah, I'm asexual...' or I look people in the eye and say 'Yeah! I'm asexual! And?' - I have to choose proud or ashamed. I used to be apologetic in my approach to it, but I've worked out that the more confident you appear to be, the more people believe you, and it's rubbed off. I'm going to try and get on the Pride group's committee next year, if it's possible to get onto it as an asexual.

As for the word queer, I completely count myself as queer in terms of what it stands for, but as an english student I can't forget what the word really means. I don't want to be labelled as a part of the 'strange, flawed, corrupting' movement. I don't mind if people think any of those things about me, but I don't want my sexuality to be labelled as such, becasue that's the one thing about me that should NOT make me 'bizarre, disturbing, wrong.'

I'll certainly stand by anyone who calls themselves queer though. :) I just wish we had a nice word that banded us all together instead of one founded in hate. (yes, yes, I know it's been reclaimed, but yeah.) Pride people! I'm one of them! Sexual minority? yep! Not-straight? Absolutely! Queer? Technically. :) I will proabbly say I am queer if need be, but still don't like the word!

Thanks for everything you've been doing for us though, thanks.

[queerunity]

Emma I agree with you that it would be nicer to have a word that could serve as a unifying term without the negative past and even sometimes current underpinnings associated with the oh so controversial term "Queer" I like pride people hehe. Some have suggested Rainbow Community. Those are cute but I just can't see anyone saying rainbow community seriously when referring to our population of sexual/gender minorities. Anyone have any suggestions for an umbrella term that incorporate us all and not sound silly? we can begin the revolution now muahaha.

[fonfeluch]

i am going to advertise asexuality.org whenever it is possible, posters, stickers, videos, first me must become more visible so that unaware asexuals could easiliy discover us. :)

[queerunity]

i am going to advertise asexuality.org whenever it is possible, posters, stickers, videos, first me must become more visible so that unaware asexuals could easiliy discover us. :)

thanks for those videos =)