Mental depression connection to libido

[jmerry]

So I really don't understand how these could possibly be linked.

There's a big difference between "not linked" and "not linked for you". Depression can lead to a crippling lack of interest in everything, sex included.

That said- there's no link for me. There was no interest to lose falling into depression, my body works the same either way, and I didn't consider it a problem.

[KAGU143]

The only thing I ever found to be depressing about the lack of sex in my life was the idea that I might be forced to give up that privelege just to have a CHANCE at a stable, committed relationship.

-GB

[Guest danihaw]

Depression and stress are such mental disorders which most people face in there life as some stage for one reason or the other. If it's children the pressure of studies gets over their head and if it's adults the pressure of work attracts depression. I have had depressions and anxiety for sometime. The best way to get over anxiety and depression is to take a break from your regular schedule, go out, and take good sleep. This helps in clearing the mind and try consulting a specialist who can suggest you as how you can get over your problem. Rather than going on drugs, one should look for the reason behind there problem . Keeping yourself busy and changing the schedule also helps sometimes to get over stress and depression.

[RubyTuesday]

How about it? My postulate should be especially welcome by antisexuals: Male desire to be sexually serviced by another increases directly according to increase in mental or psychosocial malaise for males. In other words, the more mentally ill a man gets, the hornier he gets!

This. Is. Genuis!!! The non-expert has the answers and is so very correct (at least from my experience as a former "sexual"). Whenever my BFs were depressed or any little thing in their lives was not going well they would clearly indicate the need for sex to "cheer them up". Also, when they were bored or couldn't think of anything better to do the "cure for boredom" was always sex. Yawn. So, indeed, Jay is correct!

Yes, that matches my experience, too! I used to dread being encouraged to "entertain" him because he was bored, depressed, pre-occupied with work/money worries, etc.

Just realised I put that in the past - "I used to dread" - so now I'm touching wood that it doesn't happen again, because I still haven't thought of a witty response that would make him laugh and get me off the hook - any ideas???! <_<

[Layne]

I'm type 2 bi-polar so I've experience deep depression and high manic states and have also been on and off a ton of different medications. None of these ever effected my lack of interest in sex. So I really don't understand how these could possibly be linked.

Mich

I'm type 1 Bipolar. I had a lot of sex as a promiscuous manic person, but that was just because I could. I could experience sex and it actually felt "good" at the time vs "Why do I do this?" when I'm stable. It made me feel like I was part of the world for once! and if I wasn't having sex like it was a drug, I was working out like it was the only thing left on earth. I've never seen such a hot body on myself in my entire life. If I was in a relationship, we'd have sex... but I was never the cheater. Mania to me is just getting off on whatever it is I need to get off at the time. Sex, drugs, working out, excessive work schedules, playing Wii, writing in my journal, daydreaming about big things I could to change the world whilst laying awake for hours on end. whatever.

When I was depressed I did lose lack of interest in everything, including have periods of psychosis. I didn't have sex, couldn't get off, and could care less. I couldn't function and was functioning at a slower than normal rate for everything: including my thought processes

but dundundun as stable person, I don't have sex, and could care less. It's something that I never wanted or cared about (unless I was going through the motions because I felt that's what people do)

So as much as I think depression could be correlated. It's not the end all and be all.

I'm stable, about to get married in a few months and am crying because I can't seem to figure out why I have no interest in sleeping with the man I love more than life itself. I just don't care about it.

The only thing I ever found to be depressing about the lack of sex in my life was the idea that I might be forced to give up that privilege just to have a CHANCE at a stable, committed relationship.

-GB

And this is why I had sex in the past to get boyfriends, but now I've met the man I want to spend the rest of my life with? And he's seeing less and less sex. What's worse for him is that he's known I've been with many others and can't understand why I don't want to with him.

Love is not sex. I'm tired of doing because I feel I have to. Is love not enough?

[square peg]

Prolonged early exposure to extreme stress can disturb the development of the part of the brain that grants us impulse inhibition and which continues to develop right into early adulthood, leading to more impulsive tendencies, so very negative emotional experiences ARE known to delay or otherwise alter brain development and associated behaviour. Perhaps then, there being a causal link between asexuality and childhood/adolescent emotional/social disturbances would be a hypothesis worth exploring. It would seem an entirely plausible explanation for my own asexuality, at least.

[Queastor]

I'm type 2 bi-polar so I've experience deep depression and high manic states and have also been on and off a ton of different medications. None of these ever effected my lack of interest in sex. So I really don't understand how these could possibly be linked.

Mich

I'm type 1 Bipolar. I had a lot of sex as a promiscuous manic person, but that was just because I could. I could experience sex and it actually felt "good" at the time vs "Why do I do this?" when I'm stable. It made me feel like I was part of the world for once! and if I wasn't having sex like it was a drug, I was working out like it was the only thing left on earth. I've never seen such a hot body on myself in my entire life. If I was in a relationship, we'd have sex... but I was never the cheater. Mania to me is just getting off on whatever it is I need to get off at the time. Sex, drugs, working out, excessive work schedules, playing Wii, writing in my journal, daydreaming about big things I could to change the world whilst laying awake for hours on end. whatever.

When I was depressed I did lose lack of interest in everything, including have periods of psychosis. I didn't have sex, couldn't get off, and could care less. I couldn't function and was functioning at a slower than normal rate for everything: including my thought processes

but dundundun as stable person, I don't have sex, and could care less. It's something that I never wanted or cared about (unless I was going through the motions because I felt that's what people do)

So as much as I think depression could be correlated. It's not the end all and be all.

I'm stable, about to get married in a few months and am crying because I can't seem to figure out why I have no interest in sleeping with the man I love more than life itself. I just don't care about it.

The only thing I ever found to be depressing about the lack of sex in my life was the idea that I might be forced to give up that privilege just to have a CHANCE at a stable, committed relationship.

-GB

And this is why I had sex in the past to get boyfriends, but now I've met the man I want to spend the rest of my life with? And he's seeing less and less sex. What's worse for him is that he's known I've been with many others and can't understand why I don't want to with him.

Love is not sex. I'm tired of doing because I feel I have to. Is love not enough?

The way I thought mania worked (and maybe I'm wrong) is that it comes in so many months of mania followed by so many months of downtime (like 7 months of mania and 7 of downtime) and you feel awesome and are super productive while maniac and your depressed and unproductive in the months that you aren't maniac. So are you taking medication that killed your mania (you say your stable now) or are you just in downtime and you think your 'Stable'.

Is the mania going to come back.

As a man I think I could handle having a wife that only wanted to have sex half of the year, if your as promiscuous as you said while maniac.

[bellywhopper]

Hi there. I wanted to add my two cents. First of all I hate to see one category of people dissed. Not all therapists, psychiatrists are bad. The psychiatrist I see was the one who told me, after listening numerous times to my sexual issues and problems, that she really thought I was asexual. She also explained that it wasn't something that could be changed and there was nothing wrong with it. She gave me an explanation of what it meant and talked to me about working on learning more about it and acceptance. I am not saying there aren't mental health professionals out there that aren't doing "damage" because they don't know about it. But there are good therapists out there too. I have been depressed and have been on, and am now on an anti - depressant. In my case depression caused a loss of energy, interest in things in general and a host of other things I won't bother to list. It did not affect my sexual response except when I was on a category of medication called S.S.R.I. s. I was on one of them for a short time, Prosac. In the literature on this class of drugs it clearly states that this can be a possible side effect of the drug. Depression causes a loss of interest in things and sometimes that includes sex. Also, research has shown that the most effective way of treating depression is with therapy in combination with medication. Obviously, it is a choice people make. Some people don't want to take medication and find other ways that work for them, keeping active, exercising, natural remedies. That does not work for everyone. I know my life and the lives of other people I know well have been turned around completely with the help of medication. My world changed, I was able to do so much more and become the person I had wanted to be for a long time once I went on medication. AVEN, to me, supports and encourages us to accept what we share as well as our differences. Hopefully, we all find ways to reach our goals in life and reach a place where we are at peace with who we are. The paths we take to get there and incorporate our asexuality in our lives will be unique. cake Ellie 22

[thylacine]

Well... I just want to break in here for a moment, people...

I want to add two things, if I didn't mention them already way back when this discussion started...

First, my father suffered from depression, and he had an extremely high sex drive. In fact, he was leading a double life, which we discovered about a year before he passed away.

Second, I have a co-worker who I believe suffers from depression, and she has a very high sex drive, whereas she is constantly bragging and discussing inappropriate things in the work environment, borderline lawsuit material.

So I don't notice where this depression stops the sex drive. Certainly doesn't in the people I know!

... had a strange dream about my old man last night... I was at his place, visiting, and miraculously, we were getting along. He said to get him something out of his closet, so I went to the closet. "Sheesh, dad, smells in there. What yah hiding in there? A dead body?" "No, no. Nuthin in there! Nuthin! Nuthin hidin' in there at all." I woke up and realized, the dream was about all the skeletons my dad had hidden away...

[tarsier]

Mental 'disorders' cannot be lumped together, when something cannot be categorised it is often lumped with schizophrenia, as far as I understand, which is a contested diagnosis. While asexuality as a disorder isn't contested (yet), we all here know it isn't a disorder. I can only speak about depression since I have no experience of the other 'disorders' and I cannot understand how they affect one's life. I am convinced that self-knowledge and growth are the best ways to deal with depression. Perhaps some people are not willing to grow out of an episode and adopt crutches instead. That said, I may only be referring to one level of depression and perhaps I don't have experience of incapacitating types.

@ anyone who said Sigmund thinks too much, that would be true if he wrote fiction. If he had written a story, a single case study would have been acceptable. But his case-study of a family and 'theories' were generalised and applied by a Freudian school. Something I don't think was mentioned here: his theory about babies suckling because of their sexual attraction to the mother's breast! By Zeus, that'd mean our asexuality began after infancy (or well, after breastfeeding)!

[Sally]

@ anyone who said Sigmund thinks too much, that would be true if he wrote fiction. If he had written a story, a single case study would have been acceptable. But his case-study of a family and 'theories' were generalised and applied by a Freudian school. Something I don't think was mentioned here: his theory about babies suckling because of their sexual attraction to the mother's breast! By Zeus, that'd mean our asexuality began after infancy (or well, after breastfeeding)!

That is what drives me nuts about Freudian stuff. For petes sake, all mammals suck their mothers breasts or teats. Are calves sexually attracted to their mothers' teats? <_<

"As a man I think I could handle having a wife that only wanted to have sex half of the year, if your as promiscuous as you said while maniac." That comment freaks me out a bit. (Aside from the fact that the poster doesn't know the word "manic" and doesn't know what "promiscuous" means.)