can you tell me how you identify yourself as aroace? ( first time in the forum)

[dalien M]

I just recently started to question about my sexuality, for context I am a high school students, as we know high school is the time of age were you experiment on yourself and do stupid things. will recently I've been question about relationship on whether I have any or perhaps is interested in anyone and honestly all my live I haven't really been interested in anyone I did fall into a relationship before but I cant really say it was a full fledge committed type of relationship since we were on and off and only last a week at most (not exaggerating) and so i look back in my past and I didn't really have a crush back then even now though I do find people attractive I don't really see myself being in a relationship (I find both girls and boys attractive but I mostly find boys attractive) and as for sex i honestly find it terrifying something like a foreign thing being thrust inside you is not very alluring and I'm already afraid of needles not because of the needle its self but how it needs to penetrate your skin to be effective. I could go on and on about how I don't like the thought but lets go back to relationship, I just feel pressured since I'm practically the only girl in my sibling since the other one turned lesbian and most of the boys in my family are gay and so I feel like the role of giving birth to the next generation of our family falls to me and I also do not like the idea of giving birth i heard that its a painful process and I hate pain but I don't really want to disappoint my ma since already sad that she could expect a grandchildren from my kuya's and ate but I'm not only pressure in my family but in my high school life too my friends have great interest in boys and girls and every time they talk about them I feel left out. Anyways I started to search about other sexuality find sexual orientation test in sites, look through videos that I can relate to and found out about aroace which I can highly relate to but I'm not quite sure, maybe I'm just confused 

[Sarah-Sylvia]

Hi @dalien M🍰

 

I think the most important would be to be true to yourself over time and not take on pressure for things, especially that you're young, you have time to see what it means to you, or even explore, as well as develop feelings since they can still come in later in teen years. Try not to let others' expectations dictate how your life goes, it's really important that you can follow what you want for yourself.

 

Nobody needs to have certain types of sex or sex at all, and certainly not think about pregnancy and raising children unless it's really what they want, that's a huge decision.

There are non-penetrative ways to have sex, and it's better to see sexuality as a way for certain people to share one kind of intimacy that can feel good physically together.

You might find that you like other forms of intimacy better, or if you're not interested in romance then you don't have to go for it. Really crushes can be overrated and I think it's better to just.. like someone (especially for who they are) to the point that you want to be closer to them than just friends. You don't have to follow or be like others around you, so long as you follow what feels better to you <3.

 

Welcome and I hope the site can be useful along the way.

[Cr0we]

Hi Bunso,

 

As a fellow Filipino I understand that pressure of having a family for the sake of your parents. They think it's one of the life goals you must achieve in order to be happy. To that I say no it's not. You're still so young so it's best to give yourself room to grow and reflect on your identity. It's OK to be confused and it's OK to feel left out when it comes to discussing crushes with your peers.

 

The one piece of advice that has helped me move on from these confusing feelings is to only compare yourself to the person you were yesterday. That's it. Just do your own thing and figure it out day by day. Kaya mo yan, @dalien M. 🌱

[Frameshift07]

1 hour ago, dalien M said:

I do find people attractive I don't really see myself being in a relationship (I find both girls and boys attractive but I mostly find boys attractive)

There are many types of attraction, a lot of which don't involve romantic or sexual feelings! This could be a desire to make friends, or an appreciation of how they look (aesthetic), etc.