Greetings from some kind of aspec!

[SomethingRose28]

Hey guys! I’m a 28 year old AuDHD cis woman from the US. I suspected I was somewhere on the asexual/aromantic spectrum since I was in high school, but I’m not exactly sure which label applies to me. Perhaps I’ll never know. 
 

While I always thought romance is beautiful and I would like to be in a sexual relationship, I never felt like it’s a huge priority. In fact, I have never been in a relationship, I never even kissed. Sometimes I feel sad that I never experienced these things, but it could be fear of missing out. I also want to be a mom someday, but I can’t do it right now for reasons that have little to do with my sexuality.

 

Furthermore, while I know I feel some sort of attraction to men and masculine people, I don’t think the word “straight” fits me well, because I feel like I have the potential to be attracted to people with similar gender identities to my own. Right now, I mainly express my sexuality through fantasies, fan fiction, and online erotica websites, but I hope to branch out into real life relationships.

 

As you can see, I’m far from totally aro ace as I still feel some level of sexual and romantic attraction, but not to the same level or in the same way as expected in my culture. For now, the labels demisexual and aegosexual fit me the most, but not perfectly. Maybe me being here will help me figure this all out!

 

Thanks for reading this long winded introduction. I hope that my presence, for lack of a better word, would be edifying for me and for anyone on this site.

 

 

[Sarah-Sylvia]

Hi @SomethingRose28🍰

 

It's true that  sexuality is important to a lot of people, but there are plenty of sexual people who don't have it as a priority or have it as just one way to be intimate. Either way I hope that as you get more experience you'll see what kind of place it has in your relationships, and hopefully the site is useful for you on the way too in seeing what it all means to you.

I id as graysexual and basically do so not just because sex isn't important to me but because the little desire I have for sexuality is not strong and is short lived. I might lose interest in sex after a few minutes, and I hardly think about it in general on top of not being a love language for me, while touch (non-sexual) is. I love to be close physically and cuddle and more, but sex just doesn't capture that for me. I did need time and experience to understand where sexuality places itself for me in any case.

 

[SomethingRose28]

Hi @Sarah-Sylvia!

 

Thanks for the reply! I have done some more browsing around this website, and l think I will identify as gray-ace for now but a lighter gray if going by black being most ace and white being most allo. Maybe this means I’m a dove graysexual while someone else on this forum could be a battleship graysexual ☺️

[LeChat]

Hi. Welcome! 

 

(Below is an official, green, mod message.)

 

Hi! I'm just letting you know your thread was moved from the Welcome Lounge to the Gray Area, Sex, and Related Discussions forum, which includes members' threads about graysexuality, demisexuality, etc.

 

I hope this helps!

 

LeChat,

Welcome Lounge, Announcements, and Alternate Language moderator