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Really struggling


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No label fits just right. I don't exactly know if I know what gender feels like. I was jealous of someone because of their gender. I was jealous of someone who got surgery so they had a flat chest, and I wanted a flat chest like them. I'd kill to have that! I'm starting to open up to the idea of bottom surgery. Maybe looking like a male wouldn't be too bad. Besides, I had moments recently when I wanted that. But it wouldn't be right for me to look completely masculine, would it? Or is it just the way my mind makes it seem? I can  manage to feel masculine. I've been called a boy by others and myself. A kid insisted I was a boy, even though she believed I was a girl. It made me happy. But I want an androgynous voice. I don't know what I want anymore.

 

I have to stop here, cause school is over, so I can't give more specifics.

 

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verily-forsooth-egads

It's okay to not know. No one is holding a gun to your head making you announce your labels and stick with them forever. Do things that make you feel good, and if that includes identifying with a label, do that until it doesn't.

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