New Ace in Notts Uk.

[Beckyhilly]

Hi! I’m Becky, 27 years old and only discovered the Ace spectrum around a year or so ago. Identifying as Demi sexual. 
 

Growing up, relationships and sex was never a priority. I never understood why friends would find actors/musicians etc so attractive that they would go crazy about them or state they would want to sleep with them. I could appreciate them for their skill but I never felt the desire that friends did. For years I would go along and agree with friends because I felt like there was something wrong with me if I didn’t. 
 

Going to clubs was another experience. Suddenly, there was the pressure to hook up with strangers and this creeped me out. I really felt like there was something really wrong with me because I was the only one in my group that didn’t want to do this or contribute to discussions about who and who isn’t attractive. 
 

I’m the only person in my large extended family who is single and although I have told my parents who are supportive, they don’t fully understand, it’s frustrating. Every family event I get asked about a potential partner or if I’m ever going to settle down. Though out my teenage and uni days, I would say that, ‘oh I’ll find someone at college, uni, when I return home ext’ but of course it never happened.  It’s hard because I would love to find someone but I don’t think I want the sexual or romantic intimacy. My closest friends have been extremely supportive but it’s getting harder as they are all in long term relationships. 
 

I’m so happy to find this platform and know that I’m not alone in these feelings, so if anyone knows of anyone from Notts, Uk, I would love to speak to people! 
 

Sorry for the long post! 

[Samuel-W]

Hi @Beckyhilly and welcome to the site!

 

Wow, there is so much recognition for me in your text... About not finding celebrities sexually attractive, the whole phenomenon of going to clubs to hook up with people (I've never understood it) and discussions about who's attractive or not. Check on everyone of these things... I'm still very new on the site but it's still amazing when you read someone else's story and see so much of yourself in parts of it. 

 

I also identify as demisexual and I see we're almost around the same age (I'm just a few years ahead of you). I'd love to talk to you about all this if you want 🙂 I'm still in the process of learning more about asexuality and understanding this new orientation that I've just discovered. 

 

I'm glad you're happy to find this platform! So am I. 

 

 

 

 

[LeChat]

Hi, Becky. Welcome! 

Thank you, for sharing that. I like your avatar.

 

 If you're interested, there's a "United Kingdom and Ireland" sub-forum in the Meetup Mart forum, if you're looking for friends in your area.

 

(Below is an official, green, mod message.)

 

Hi! I'm just letting you know your thread was moved from the Welcome Lounge to the "Gray Area" forum, which includes discussions about demisexuality.

 

LeChat,

Welcome Lounge, Announcements, and Alternate Language moderator

[Kzee]

Hi Becky, 

 

I can relate to everything you've said, it's a hard road. Living in Notts as well if you want to talk more.

 

Louise (40F)

[Emily B]

Hey, I'm 27 (also live in Nottingham!) and fully get what you mean. It's definitely harder to as friends move into long term relationships and it's difficult to not feel like you're getting left behind sometimes. I'd be happy to have a chat if you ever feel like you'd like someone to talk to!