Friends with no dating

[binary suns]

Would you be friends with someone you like romantically but they aren’t into you?

 

 Would you feel comfortable with a friend who’s into you?

[Anomaly Q3Xr]

I would, and have in the past, be a friend to someone I have a crush on without it being reciprocated, and likewise have been friends with people who had a crush on me without it being problematic.

[awadama]

I'd be totally fine with being friends with someone I had a crush on, as long as they were comfortable with it.

 

If someone had a crush on me, I wouldn't even want to be in the same country as them.

[Purplegems3]

9 minutes ago, binary suns said:

Would you be friends with someone you like romantically but they aren’t into you?

I don't experience these but I definitely would be friends with someone who was anesthetic pleasing 

 

10 minutes ago, binary suns said:

Would you feel comfortable with a friend who’s into you?

I'd be happy to be their friend but may feel a bit uncomfortable if they react poorly to my lack of feelings back

[Nel Fie]

I have no idea, I've never been in either situation.

[Guest]

I don't think I would ever stop being friends with someone just because they don't reciprocate, as long as they didn't angry with me or something like that.

 

I don't think I've ever been in the second situation, but I imagine I would be just a tad uncomfortable if they were allo. Just knowing they desire me sexually would be a little weird, but still no reason for me to break off a friendship.

[Starry Sky]

Yes to both of them. Been in the first situation. We’re still friends after several years and I no longer have feelings. Someone else being into me is no reason to end the friendship and wouldn’t make me uncomfortable so long as it’s been made clear that feelings are not mutual. They’d move on eventually 

[silent__]

I think it would highly depend on the situation, especially for the second one. How much of a crush do they have? How do they act because of it? Are they happy just being friends? Are they someone I would consider dating or not?

 

For the first one, probably yes I would be happy as friends.

[J. van Deijck]

I don't have romantic crushes, so I guess no.

[daveb]

I'd be fine with either situation. It's good to have good friends, and if they are good friends unreciprocated feelings shouldn't be an issue in my opinion and experience. Both people have to be mature about it.

[Sarah-Sylvia]

Of course. It might hurt a little at some point but I can be friends with a crush, and have. I used to have a crush on someone and still did even when she turned down dating, but we stayed friends :).

Am fine the other way around too, just maybe if I know they feel that way then I would probably talk about it to make sure we're on a good basis/understanding.

[Guest]

Yes if they wanted to be friends.

[ei-hvað]

I think a friend had a crush on me once, and then I discovered that I had a crush on her as well over a year later. Unbeknowst to me however, she happened to be dating someone else while I was thinking about her and they started a relationship.

 

I'm actually relieved it happened, because we wouldn't have been a good fit and her boyfriend is very nice (I actually introduced them). She is hypersexual, so I can't see it having worked out over the long or short term. 

[MarRister]

I've had a couple friends show interest in me that was not returned, and we still are friends. Though not close friends but that is more due to circumstances of no longer being near by them regularly.

 

And then I had an unrequited crush on someone I went to post secondary with. We kinda of remained friends for a bit, but once we weren't in classes together anymore we didn't talk much so it faded away.

 

I think it can be awkward at times, but there is no reason why people can't be friends. Just depends on each individual and how they deal with the situation. 

[alto]

If I got a crush on a friend and they didn't reciprocate, I'd be fine.

 

If a friend crushed on me and I didn't reciprocate...It would depend on who it was.

[Ceebs]

14 hours ago, binary suns said:

Would you be friends with someone you like romantically but they aren’t into you?

Either it would just be a minor attraction and wouldn't matter that much and it would be very easy to keep being friends, or it would be a case of falling in love with them and figuring out how painful it would be to continue with the friendship. I think I would probably have to take a step back at least and focus more on other friendships if we were very emotionally close. I know it would be really hard watching them develop feelings for other people, watching them get into relationships. That's the situation I once thought I'd be facing with the person who's now my partner. I didn't expect him to develop reciprocal romantic feelings, let alone serious ones that would lead to a relationship, and I'd realised I was in love. At one point he used to talk to me about his various attempts at dating. They never went anywhere much, but it was a bit difficult for me to hear about. I tried to be supportive and encouraging because I cared about him and wanted him to be happy, and at the same time I'd be lying if I said I wasn't relieved when he told me about a crappy disappointing date or someone who decided they wanted to just be friends (which basically meant he'd never hear from them again lol). I fully expected someday there would be someone he'd tell me about who was a good match, someone he'd start sharing personal things with like he did with me, someone who'd take over the role of emotionally-connected friend -- plus more than that, someone he'd love and maybe even marry. And I had no idea how I'd deal with that, but I knew it would be very painful for me.

 

Happily, I never had to find out lol. Some people take a while to figure out their own feelings... 🙄😅

 

14 hours ago, binary suns said:

Would you feel comfortable with a friend who’s into you?

Honestly it depends on how they acted towards me. If they told me about their feelings and I didn't reciprocate and we had an honest chat about it and they wanted to continue the friendship and also didn't try to keep pushing me for more, and at least from my observation it didn't appear to be tearing them up inside to interact with me platonically, sure I'd keep being their friend. Clearly I'd like them if we were already friends, just without romantic feelings, and it would be a shame to throw away a good friendship. However, if they kept hounding me about wanting more or behaving like we were in a relationship or it was obviously very emotionally distressing for them, I would cut ties because it would be healthier for both of us.

 

One of my past relationships did kind of start that way, although we were acquaintances more than friends. She developed feelings for me and confessed them, kept kind of... pushing some limits and doing things that she hoped would make me reciprocate... and finally, I did. Or thought I did, I don't know anymore. I mean, I know they were real feelings eventually. The situation was a bad one though, emotionally toxic, and also started out as an affair on both of our parts since we were in other relationships at the time it began. Not destined for anywhere good, really. I wish I'd handled it differently. After I broke it off the first time I should've cut ties instead of trying to remain friends, which eventually led to being romantically involved again. That happened like five times over the course of the same number of years, like a rollercoaster that was impossible to get off. I would never do that again. It didn't work as a relationship and couldn't work as friends either. Live and learn, I suppose. 

[Autumn ace]

For years, I’ve had a crush on one of my best friends. She knows how I feel, and we’ve stayed friends. There are complications, but I think it’s possible as long as both people in a friendship are comfortable with it. 
 

A few years ago, I had a friend who told me she liked me. I didn’t like her back, and it was awkward for both of us, so the friendship ended. That being said, it was a newer friendship. 

If one of my friends told me they like me, I would stay friends with them as long as it’s not too awkward for them.

[Sky Tune Rein]

Quite honestly, I don't know how to answer this poll. But friendship precedes crushes. It's noice when it's reciprocated too.

[Libellule]

1. I've never had an unrequited crush on a friend, so I'm actually not sure how I'd deal with it. I think in general it's possible for people to remain friends but it depends on the people involved.

2. I've had this happen twice and it got pretty uncomfortable on both occasions. 

[A User]

ive never had a crush on a friend, cant answer

 

i think if a dear and close friend is into me i'd be weirded out but as long as they go back to seeing me as a friend once i tell em im not into them i guess it's fine

[Purple Red Panda]

On 6/9/2023 at 2:48 PM, binary suns said:

Would you be friends with someone you like romantically but they aren’t into you?

Yes. It's happened to me several times and although it can be hard I ultimately valued the friendships and didn't want to lose them and have always respected the other persons feelings.

 

On 6/9/2023 at 2:48 PM, binary suns said:

 Would you feel comfortable with a friend who’s into you?

Harder to say due to lack of experience, I imagine I'd probably feel bad that I'm not into them.

[Visenya]

On 6/9/2023 at 10:48 AM, binary suns said:

Would you be friends with someone you like romantically but they aren’t into you?

Yes and I've done it quite a few times. I don't mind, because enjoying their company, getting to know them and spend time with them is the most important thing to me. I also like having crushes (despite some of its drawbacks), so I don't mind feeding into them as much, unless it's making me suffer (I'm so used to rejection that it barely bothers me nowadays lol).

 

On 6/9/2023 at 10:48 AM, binary suns said:

Would you feel comfortable with a friend who’s into you?

I'd feel a bit uncomfortable because I know a lot of men resent and get angry at women and think we're taking advantage of them if we keep them as friends, if we don't like them in other ways. I wouldn't dump the person if I found out that they have a crush on me, but I'd worry if the person is feeling like I'm leading them on, giving them false hope, wasting their time, unconsciously exploiting them or something like that. But if the person didn't mind, I'd be ok with that situation, as long as they're not acting inappropriately or appear to be suffering.

 

PS.: Since I'm demisexual, I need to be friends with someone in order to become attracted to them. This makes things a bit more complicated, because the guy has a higher chance of getting his feelings reciprocated if he's in the so-called friendzone.

[Ceebs]

3 hours ago, Purple Red Panda said:

Harder to say due to lack of experience, I imagine I'd probably feel bad that I'm not into them.

Yeah I think that's true for me, like feeling kind of guilty or something.

[Sally]

Before I got married I had several unrequited relationships with friends; I had crushes on them but they didn't feel the same.  We continued to be friends because I was able to do so without them feeling uncomforable.  But there were several other friendships where the other person had crushes on me without my feeling the same, and that was very uncomfortable for me -- I had to break off the friendships because I felt guilty about not feeling the same; there really wasn't the freedom that you feel with equal friendships.  

[bare_trees]

Most of the time, I can be friends with someone who's attracted to me. I'm terrible at being friends with someone I have a crush on, at least historically. But it hasn't happened in a long time, so idk how I would deal with it now.

[Mult]

On 6/9/2023 at 9:48 AM, binary suns said:

 Would you feel comfortable with a friend who’s into you?

The hard part I found is when someone either isn't clear on their feelings and is trying to suggest it to test the waters or when I reject someone and they say their feelings would stay the same. It just gets uncomfortable when I am unsure if they are doing something or saying something because they expect something in return or trying to test if I reciprocate their feelings.

 

I try to be clear and upfront about my lack of sexual and romantic attraction or interest but it's dicey when people either challenge that or simply don't understand. The bottom line is that it will always be a "no" but I've experienced people still trying to change my mind. 

 

I wish it didn't bother me, but in my experience it is just something I find difficult because I'm not sure if they have truly accepted rejection or if they will spring it up on me again. 

[Grumpy Alien]

I was in an only slightly awkward friend triad like that when I was 13-14. Nothing ever came of either crush and to my knowledge, the two guys I was friends with were each other’s best friend with no animosity. We all knew but we also all knew it was unrequited and just set it aside because we liked hanging out. Genuinely a good friend group. Lost touch completely with the guy I had a crush on because he went to a different high school but I still have some contact with my high school best friend who was the guy who liked me at the time. We’re both happily married and funnily enough, our partners have some similar traits to me/him. (I wasn’t attracted to him though and I don’t think I would’ve made him happy even if I had been. We made much better friends - shame we didn’t keep in touch more. He just clearly has an aesthetic type and my husband has a similar build and is a kindhearted funny guy, admittedly with a different sense of humour.)

[Squirrel Combat]

I always think to myself that I would be okay with being in love with somebody who doesn't feel the same, but in reality it would bother me that they don't return feelings, and that's assuming they never date another man--with THAT in the mix, no way; all bets are off.

 

As for the second: It really depends. If they aren't my type at all, then I can at least be friends with them and hopefully they will find another man, and then we can still be friends without the awkwardness.

 

 

[GingerRose]

It all comes down to 

[oldgeeza]

I don't know that I've experienced a romantic attraction to anyone, I am pretty much certain that no one would ever be attracted to me, I'm happy with just friendship, I don't need anything more