Bridy Posted January 6, 2007 Share Posted January 6, 2007 I lay awake for a couple hours or so before falling asleep in the early mornings. This gives me alot of time to think. Perhaps too much. I reflected on what I have read on this message site. I find it sad that there are so many struggling with how they feel. We can not control how we feel. Only how we deal with it and the actions we take. Wen I was young I was very sexual. It has only been in the past 5 years that I have lost interest. I ask myself why. The answer is there are so many reasons. Yet if I was to simplify it and put it in one, I would have to say I no longer feel secure in love, sex and a relationship. This is because of so many disappointments. Some my own doing and some not. In my opinion we as a sociaty have become so sexually orientated that we judge everyone by there sexual prefference and not by their charatctor. " Mr/Ms So-n-so is kind to others. Always smiling. Would never hurt anyone or anthing." But he/she is gay or asexual and that faults everything about them. That is so wrong. Sex is also a means to trash. To be little. Men are mostly bad about this, but women do it too. I am so tired of being someone's body for use and then trashed and thrown aside as if I have no feelings or value. I dont understand and I hope with some reasoning I can feel better about who I am. Then just maybe I will feel sexual. Link to post Share on other sites
Goonie Posted January 7, 2007 Share Posted January 7, 2007 I dont understand and I hope with some reasoning I can feel better about who I am. Then just maybe I will feel sexual. ok my personal experience *watches everyone run* :lol: anyway, there is a huge difference in the way I was when I first joined from the way I am now. AVEN, from the time I have been here, continues to be a place I can go to be open about things. Most regular members are very open minded -- a quality I don't find in most of the people where I live. It is (has been for me) a great place to grow as a person. I learn many new things while on here. Heck people have even seen pics of me. Though -- nothing I have learned so far has made me feel sexual Link to post Share on other sites
Bridy Posted January 7, 2007 Author Share Posted January 7, 2007 Thanks for reponding, Goonie. You asked a good question and I will try to explain. I no longer feel sexual for a number of reasons. I have been so turned off. There is a part of me that has adjusted and the longer I am this way the more comfortable I am. There is also apart of me that misses the closeness and the way the passion made me feel. I guess what I mean is if I can understand why all that has made me turn off to sex, I mite desire to search for what made me enjoy sex. Until I can understand, I will continue to have no desire. With no desire I can not be in a relationship. Tho I dont want to marry again, I think it would be nice to have someone special to share my life with. I hope this explains it. Not sure I made sense LOL Link to post Share on other sites
Goonie Posted January 7, 2007 Share Posted January 7, 2007 sorta kinda.. I didn't realize I asked a question :oops: I guess it is like the saying that you can be on your own and alone or together with someone and twice as alone. I think the more solid you are in you identity as a person -- and the more holes you can fill yourself the better off any relationship will be. :D Of course this is coming from an aromantic who really doesn't like the closeness all the time :D Link to post Share on other sites
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